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Talking with young children re: surgery Talking with young children re: surgery

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Unread 01-10-2005, 02:19 PM
Talking with young children re: surgery

I have a six year old daughter, and I'm skeptical about telling her I will be in the hospital. She's a real worrier, especially about her Mommy! Has anyone had to deal with a similar situation? How did you handle it?

LAVH on 2/8.

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Unread 01-10-2005, 02:30 PM
Talking with young children re: surgery

I have two boys who had just turned 6 and 9 when it was time to start talking about my surgery.

I told the oldest one (who knows the whole story about how babies are made) that my parts that are used for making babies weren't working right anymore, and that I didn't need them, so I was going to have an operation to take them out that would make me start feeling better.

My youngest wasn't ready for a lot of detail, although he tends to be much more of a worrier than his older brother. I basically told him that I needed to go to the hospital for an operation and stay overnight, that I was kinda having a tune-up, the same way our cars get tuned up. And that I would need him to help around the house for awhile afterwards, but that the operation would make me feel a lot better after a few weeks. That was all he needed or wanted to know.

Good luck!
Unread 01-10-2005, 02:56 PM
Talking with young children re: surgery

I can't help you on that age group, my daughter was 9 and she listened to me tell her that my uterus was being removed, showed her pics (she knows all about periods etc and female organs) and we talked about how my incision wsa going to look and where it was going to be and how much help I was going o need when I got home and that she was going to have to be the woman of the house and help out...she said"But hey mom at least you won't have periods anymore"...LOL
I think just concentrating on how much of a big boy he is and how you are going to need his help with be okay for that part, as far as explaining the surgery and what that means, I can't help you there. but I do wish you good luck
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Unread 01-10-2005, 03:48 PM
Talking with young children re: surgery

Thanks so much for your helpful advice. I suppose I should have a little more faith in my little one!
Unread 01-10-2005, 03:56 PM
Talking with young children re: surgery

When my sister explained to her 5 yo daughter what I was having done my niece FREAKED OUT! Now it didn't help that my sister referred to my uterus as "baby house" and that my sister plans to have more kids....

I think, especially for boys, the less technical, the better. Maybe something like, "there's something in my belly that's not working right and it's making me not feel good, and I want to feel good so we can play together. The doctor will take out the parts in a hospital where they can take good care of me, and make sure all the good parts stay in." or something along those lines.

My son, 12, leaves the room when TMI is on board

Kids have amazing imaginations, and especially if they are worriers, you can tell them that being positive is the best thing they can do to help you.

After my LAVH, I was lucky enough to not have too many tubes attached before both my kids came in. You might want to prepare your son for what he will see, and what they are all for.

good luck....we'll all be here to hear your story!!
Unread 01-10-2005, 04:02 PM
Talking with young children re: surgery

Funny, I had this conversation with my five year-old daughter last night.

She knows Momma hasn't been feeling well lately, so I gently explained that I needed to go into the hospital for a few days. When I came back, I would be sick the first few days and sleep a lot. After that, Mommy will be laying around a lot. I said I may look like I'm being lazy, but the operation on my tummy has to heal and I won't be running around like I used to. I told her that Daddy will have to take over a lot of the work around the house and getting her dressed for school, but after a few weeks I would feel better and would be able to take care of her again.

She took it like a champ. She patted my belly and asked, "Mommy, will it hurt?" I told her it would hurt for a little bit. She then asked if she could lie down with me after I came back from the hospital. I told her yes, but she'd have to be very careful not to stick any little boney elbows or knees into Mommy's belly. That satisfied her immensely, and she cuddled into me the way she has done since she was old enough to walk.

At this age level, kids don't need too much information. They will need to know that you are not feeling well, that you will not be able to jump up and get them things like you used to, and that they will have to be gentle with you after you come back from the castle. As long as the child knows what's going to happen, and how you're going to feel, and what's expected of her, things should be fine.

Good luck!
Unread 01-10-2005, 04:05 PM
Talking with young children re: surgery

Hello! I have a four year old boy and the first time I went into the hospital for a D&C I thought he wouldn't understand but he did alot better than I thought. We told him then that we made a mistake and there was no baby( it was a molar pregnancy). All he ask was why I had to go I told him to feel better. This time I explained that I was going to hurt a little more than before and that after a little while I was going to be better than ever and finally feel like playing more. He like that. My worry was explaining no more babies. He said that was fine and that maybe someone sometime might not want their baby cause it cried to much and we could trade something for it They understand so much more than they are given credit for I am sure you daughter already feels like something is going on. Take her out for a special treat and tell her that you know everything is going to be fine and let her ask questions. She will feel really "grownup". I hope and pray that everything turns out well for you.

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