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Latest Rude Comments Latest Rude Comments

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Unread 01-12-2005, 12:11 AM
Latest Rude Comments

I had someone (a man) ask me what it felt like to be a guy now. Actually he had his son pass on the question. At first I was totally confused and then I figured out what he was talking about (usually I'm a little more intelligent). I simply told him I wouldn't know and walked off. I'm still trying to figure that one out. My mother told everyone she talked to that on DAY TWO I was FINE!!!! I told her I was NOT FINE!!!! I don't think people get it and if you show any sign of life you are supposed to be ok.
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Unread 01-12-2005, 12:51 AM
To HippieHoney

Ya know, when I read your brother-in-law's comments, instinctively I wanted to throw something at him. First of all, where does he get off talking about your sex life? You're his sister-in-law, not his wife. Honestly, I would have thrown the nearest thing I could get my hands on right at his head. Then if he complained I'd tell him to take a hike before I hurt myself picking up a chair to throw at him.
Unread 01-12-2005, 12:53 AM
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My stupid male Gyno didn't believe I was still hurting, and my stupid male GP both were amazed I was in pain. It's been four weeks since your surgery. You can't be hurting. Fluffycat reminded me it's only been three weeks. Regardless! After what my Gyno did to me, who does he think he's kidding!
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Unread 01-12-2005, 12:57 AM
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Forgot something. When I was telling my mom about this, she said, "That's life!" WHAT? She wants me to tell her stuff, but why should I if this is what I'm going to get?

She tries to tell me she understands what I'm going through. About how painful it was to deliver three babies vaginally, have a knee replacement... Yes, those hurt, but it's totally different! Also, I can never have a baby, so don't bring that up!
Unread 01-12-2005, 01:56 AM
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It's good to know we all have the same kinds of experiences. Sometimes I feel pathetic that I have to let people know that I'm not "all better". I also live in a small town and sure enough when someone saw me out walking she said to my husband, "you said she was in the house resting all day! I see you're up and around now" (read: "you're all better"). I ventured out "to the city" for the first time at 3 weeks. I wanted to meet a friend for lunch once before I attempted to start returning to work part time. When people asked me how it was I made sure to tell them there were times during lunch that I thought maybe I shouldn't have done it AND I was so wiped out that I took a nap in my husband's office on two chairs with my head against the wall - just so they wouldn't think I was "all better".
Mostly though my friends and family have been very supportive. One friend compared my surgery to a different surgery she had done with laparoscopy. I actually spent an evening researching it versus my surgery on the internet. Sure enough IT'S NOT THE SAME!! Recovery from her surgery is much shorter. She actually meant well, but was misinformed.:confuse: I had to delicately tell her that not all laparoscopy is the same.
Having said all this, I must say, I am very lucky because DH is on our side. He wants me to be more careful and rest more than I want to. He is the first one to tell people how long recovery really is AND how important it is to do it right.
It's important for US to know how to best take care of ourselves and don't let what others say affect your recovery process.
Unread 01-12-2005, 08:17 AM
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Dear Sisters,
So much support. I appreciate you all so much!!

I know that we are all probably ultra sensitive, but people also need to think before they say insensitive things.

I do think that there are people out there that just want to be released from their responsibility of thinking they should care. They are generally self centered and really don't want to be bothered.

As I said, I live in a small town and my hurt feelings began with my "friend" who wanted to have the "it's all better now" party. Which, as I think was a party to release her from the appearances she made. They were all planned so that it would look like she was doing a lot. So...I went to a town meeting last night where I sat next to a guy who's wife had a huge tumor removed from her stomach and he asked if I had gone to the party. I told him, no because I am not all better. He said that his wife hadn't gone either for the same reason. Another thing I realized about this "friend" is that she was looking for a reason to have other women to drink with. She's a huge alcoholic in denial. There have been many times that she's come over and left because I said I wasn't in the mood for a drink. Like I said, she wanted to drink and play cards at two weeks!! Actually, it's sad!! This has been a true learning experience.

On the caring side, I had a neighbor come up to me and say that I looked beautiful and it was great to see me out and at the meeting. I didn't even know that she knew. Another lady sat behind me and just gave me a little loving pat on the shoulder when she sat down.

I decided there are benefits to the small town thing and those two cancel out the one. Let's all try to concentrate on these good folks and not the goofy ones.

Wow, this got long...

Love ya-Melissa
Unread 01-12-2005, 08:20 AM
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and Kindred, my hugs and vibes really go out to you. I'd like to have a long talk with your docs and your mother, but I'm afraid I wouldn't be able to do it calmly!!
Unread 01-12-2005, 08:46 AM
Latest Rude Comments

Yes, I've also met up with many people who give you the "glad you're ok now" comments. I truly believe they have well intent about a subject they know nothing about but have wasted so much time trying to explain to them the details and time period involved, of which they don't want to hear. I've learned to smile gracefully (while looking at them as if THEY have 3 heads), saying nothing, and walking away. I'll put my energy towards my recovery instead.

Maybe you should host a "dummies" party for them (send the invitations 6 months in advance)!!
Unread 01-12-2005, 08:53 AM
Latest Rude Comments

You are so right---we have to concentrate on the good folks and what they say.There are people who lift you up and people who bring you down. Let's try to hold in our hearts the good stuff and and let the other unkind words fade away.
Unread 01-12-2005, 09:05 AM
Latest Rude Comments

I have been miffed for over a week at a colleague of mine. I ran into her at the grocery store a week ago and she asked how I was. I said the recovery was slow. She indicated she had recently had foot surgery and was going through the same thing., however after a couple of weeks she was feeling fine. I was really upset. There is no comparison.

Monday, I saw her at a meeting and she indicated that she was really suprised that it was taking so long for my leg to heal. I quickly pointed out that I hadn't had surgery on my leg!!!

Turns out she had asked a male colleague (who had a bit of an accent) why I was gone and he said I had "female surgery" and she misunderstood. She thought I had femur surgery!

We both laughed until we cried!!!!

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