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  #31  
Unread 01-13-2005, 12:10 AM
Latest Rude Comments

I just thought of something. Maybe it's our fault we get these comments. Women endure so much in silence, that when we DO complain people think we must be over reacting.

Perhaps we need to emulate how men deal with pain. There is an old saying, "The bigger the man, the bigger the baby." When they have problems, everyone listens. That is why there is a cure for impotents, but not ovarian cancer.

Golly, do I sound a bit bitter?
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  #32  
Unread 01-13-2005, 08:28 AM
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  Quote:
Originally posted by tarheelblue
I just don't want to hear one more person tell me about their C-section. Do you ever just want to scream IT'S NOT THE SAME THING!
This is definitely true. I had 2 c-sections and the way I felt after them was not even close to how I felt after my hyster.Plus after a c-section you have a beautiful baby to help dull your pain and help you forget how much it hurt.I have had the same thing told to me. Do these people not think?


  #33  
Unread 01-13-2005, 08:37 AM
Latest Rude Comments

I gave my daughters some bumper stickers a few years ago that said The Women Are Smarter. Now, I want some that say The Women Are Stronger.

We are. That's why people expect us to just bounce back.

I told my gyn about my struggle with rude comments and he said that because hysterectomies are a surgery heard about frequently people think it's a simple thing.

Even without the major surgery, how many of us have had our whole family down with sickness and even though we are just as sick, we are the one up and waiting on everyone?

But, I think we should speak out. Even it we have to include graphic detail. Cousin on the couch would have heard from me. I had step son on the couch in MY nest at Christmas time. Poor thing said he had a cold. But, he had energy to go out every night while he was visiting. My DH finally said something which he generally doesn't. I could tell when the kid left, he was angry with me. All I can think about is that I'm so glad DH stood by me. We need this.
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  #34  
Unread 01-13-2005, 08:55 AM
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I'm sorry, and not to dwell on the C-section comparison, but I'm going to dwell on it anyway.

Yesterday a friend came by with some stew she had made and cheerfully asked if I was back to speed yet. Then she asked "Have you had a C section before?"

Well I replied "No, and you know this was not a C section. With a hysterectomy you have organs removed." OMG - I can't believe I didn't just smile. My husband put his hands around the casserole dish - I think he was afraid that I was going to throw the stew at her.
  #35  
Unread 01-13-2005, 09:42 AM
Latest Rude Comments

Thank you, thank you for this thread! I have been feeling very angry at some people in my life because of the same things --- the "what? you mean you aren't cooking, cleaning, etc?" questions!
My mil she called last week while DH was cooking our supper...she needed some help picking something up that was too heavy (she is 70 with severe RA). Now she has 3 sons, we live 8 miles away while the other two live less than 3 miles away and neither of the other two have spouses who are recovering from MAJOR SURGERY! When he told her "No" because he was cooking, she said, "What? She can't fix her own meals?" I thought I was going to blow!
I am almost afraid to really do anything for fear that certain people will start expecting that I am "back to normal"
  #36  
Unread 01-13-2005, 10:24 AM
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Hey

I think that there is all kinds of times when woman are expected to be "better" or just "get over" it . I know Im one year post op and still have problems... but i find that no one seems to believe me, or believe its that bad. When my hubby touches my scar, it hurts... if were like play fighintg or anything ... so i tell him, and one time he was like its almost been a year how can it hurt ? Im glad he had a major surgery because i was able to POKE his scar... he shut up after that

My mom, likes to use my expereince now to point out why it wasnt the best choice. Thats the other thing that i cant believe is ppl;s opinions on the whole matter. When i told my mom, she said.... oh well were in for a real roller coaster ride. I was so upset by that and i didnt htink that was very supportive. Why cant ppl be supportive depsite their own opinions ? Thats just something that really peeves me.


  #37  
Unread 01-13-2005, 11:58 AM
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To NatalieGrace: This cousin of your husband's sounds like a real jerk. I don't think it's out of bounds at all for you to tell him to respect you while in your home. Suggesting stripper clubs and telling you to get up and clean house is disrespectful. I would tell him "While a guest in my home, you will respect me, or there is the door and don't let it hit you on the way out. I expect you to clean up after yourself, pay your own way, and quit trying to turn my husband into a single man. And regardless of what YOU think, I would be telling you these things even if I didn't just have surgery. You are being disrespectful, and it will stop now." How any person could ask for a handout, and then treat the person helping them this way is uncomprehensible.

On another note - I am recovering from walking pnemonea (sp) this week and I can't believe I am getting more support and sympathy from THIS then from my surgery back in September!. I have a friend who actually called yesterday to see if she could bring me dinner or anything. And yet, during my recovery from the hysterectomy, I never heard from her once! What is WRONG with people in today's society!
  #38  
Unread 01-13-2005, 02:21 PM
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Sounds like we're all dealing with the same problem...I was only a couple of weeks post op, when a co worker said to me...are you thinking about coming back to work early? Then at 6 weeks, (I got an extra 2 weeks off from my doc, so I will be off for 8 weeks total), I went to brunch with some women, and I overheard one who is a co worker, and (I THOUGHT) "friend", say to one of the other ladies, "She's 'milking' it for another 2 weeks." I expected some to feel like that, but I was surprised to hear it from her. Now I don't feel the same towards her, and that makes me feel sad. I may look like I'm fine, n
but they aren't with me in the bathroom with gas pains, or UTI, and they only see me for a few hours, they don't realize that doing something for a few hours, when you could go home and lay down is different than doing something for 8 hours straight. GRRRR!! I have a real bad UTI right now, that I'm getting ready to post about because I've been on 2 antibiotics now, and at 7 weeks out, have another one...or is it the same one, but intensified? Is it truly a UTI or just a sensitive bladder? When does it stop?? I'M GLAD I'M NOT BACK TO WORK YET, I DONT CARE WHAT ANYONE THINKS!!!
  #39  
Unread 01-13-2005, 02:45 PM
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I hsould have told him to get his *** out of my house, but I didnt... Im not vocal enough... and actually it shoudlnt have been me it should have been my husband! However no one said anything and the creep left after like three days. He is ALWAYS that way when he comes to town, he wants my husband to go to strippers and the bar etc... One time my husband and him went out for a couple of drinks and he got in a fight when my husband turned around and left ... and he stayed and broke his hand and had to have surgery he didnt talk to my husband for liek two years... AND his family was mad at my husband for not helping out.!!! WHAT A CROCK, he has three boys and a wife hes not a child anymore and he knows that .... Thank goodness he knows that...!!

It is sad that in todays day and age, ppl cant figrue out that just because you dont lay there playing dead.... doesnt mean you dont hurt. But when we do lay around and whine ppl want you to get up and get atter!!! ??! makes no sense lol!!
  #40  
Unread 01-13-2005, 05:12 PM
Latest Rude Comments

Okay, girls.I'm going to add this one just because now I can laugh at it. At the time I was astounded.

One acquaintenace asked "What did you do to cause this".

Another, who thought she was soooo funny. "You shouldn't have used it so much".
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