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  #51  
Unread 01-14-2005, 04:31 PM
Latest Rude Comments

Dear nksnow77,

A weiniectomy!!! I loved that !! Thanks for the laugh! We've got to retain our senses of humor to get through this.

We are vibing you on Monday!! Be sure to tell them as you are getting ready that you absolutely don't want your meanness removed, okay?
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  #52  
Unread 01-14-2005, 06:30 PM
Latest Rude Comments

AHHHH sisters, I posted about this weeks ago. Some of you may remember....My friend of 10 years told me (4 days post op) that I better be careful and change my behavior or next it would be my ovaries or cancer. Nice huh. A few days later she did the old "well after my c section..." and commented that she couldn't understand why my mother was still helping me. I was crushed, but then I got mad. No one deserves such comments. As I said before, the people who are capable if such insensitivity as a time like this have no place in my life. If anyone I know or love becomes a sister I will shower them with support and kindness. Another friend of many years just never called.... I say purge the uterus and the lame friends.
  #53  
Unread 01-14-2005, 07:12 PM
Latest Rude Comments

Yes, some people don't think before they speak, it's a fact of life. Or sometimes they do think, but don't know what they're talking about, or make incorrect assumptions.

When that happens there is no need to lower yourselves to their level. A simple reply such as "my DR & I will decide when I go back to work", or maybe "this surgery was a little more involved than you realize" and let it go at that. Don't get angry at stupid people, or let them bug you.

Try to put yourself in their place - haven't you ever said something that bothered someone else and you didn't understand why? If they got snide or rude to you, didn't it make you feel bad, when it wasn't your intention to hurt them?

Try to find some positives, and forget the negatives.

Best wishes.
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  #54  
Unread 01-14-2005, 08:11 PM
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In defense to the people who think a hysterectomy is like a c-section, I thought it would be the same also. I had a Laproscopic hysterectomy, and thought this would be no big deal. Boy, was I wrong. This was much more dificult. My incisions are much smaller, but my physical healing took alot longer than I thought. I figured that I would be back to normal in about a week. My doctor told me that a c-section they just cut the uterus, and remove the baby. With a hysterctomy it is so much more invoved. Even with it being a lap. I had a few complications, but still, I can't believe how long it took for me to feel better.
  #55  
Unread 01-15-2005, 10:41 AM
Latest Rude Comments

I have a very close friend (for over 25 years) who calls me a couple of times a week from her cell phone and asks how I am doing but doesn't listen. No matter what I say she ends with "as long as your doing alright I'm going shopping (or skiing or to the movies ......)I was going to make you dinner but you sound so good and I'm so busy" It is so frustrating. My husband says I should be direct with her and say I'm not alright I need your help. But I can't get myself to do it.
  #56  
Unread 01-15-2005, 11:07 AM
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Mindfulness- your husband is right...maybe you SHOULD be more direct with her. Maybe before you even say how you are, you should say, "I'm really not up to cooking dinner tonite" or something to that effect and see what she does. I doubt that it will make much difference, though. Sounds like she is just going through the motions so she can say "She was there for you" I live alone, and every week the trash cans had to go to the curb, so there was no one to do it, so I did, (my daughter came over and did it the first couple of weeks), but one day my nieighbor came over and said "What are you doing? You shouldn't be pushing those trash cans yet!" I said, "Well, they get full, and I can let them sit up here or I won't have nothing to put my trash in" She said "Let us know and we'll take them down for you." The next week was Christmas week, and I didn't take them down because I thought they would be a day late because of the Holiday, so I missed it, but did they move them for me???NO. I figure I shouldn't have to ask them when they live right next door and could take mine out at the same time as they take theres out. Oh well, what can you do? Luckily, I'm passed the 6 week mark now. I wish I could say I'm healed now, but I'm not. My gyn is sending me to a urologist now to find out what is wrong with my bladder...when does it all stop??? I'm sick of doctors!!
  #57  
Unread 01-15-2005, 11:54 AM
Latest Rude Comments

Dceeeee,
You gave me the courage to do it.I am going to call her one day this week and ask her to do something specific like make me a dinner. She always says "let me know if you need anything" but just like with your neighbor and the garbage cans they know you need help. Why don't they just help instead of just talking about it. Good luck with your urologist appt. Thanks again for your encouragement.
  #58  
Unread 01-15-2005, 03:52 PM
Latest Rude Comments

I am blessed with lots of REAL friends. I have one who lives in another town who calls me almost every day, asks how I am and actually listens to me. I have other friends who live closer to me who drop by to visit on the weekends and brought meals here and there. I was so greatful for the visits and the meals and especially the surprises of home-baked muffins and cookies or even a gift of flowers or chocolates. It wasn't even all just because I needed it, but because it made me feel special and cared about. I hope I will remember to do these nice things for other people because it really does make a difference.
I have started back to work part-time and slowly getting back to myself, but strangely, there were some parts of being a princess that I will miss......
  #59  
Unread 01-15-2005, 04:56 PM
Latest Rude Comments

Dear Mindful,

I know it is hard to be upfront, my surgery was Dec 3. My mother in law did not comw to the hospital to see me. I was good with that. There was no need. i had a lot of visitors, and at the hospital you have a lot of care. She wanted some one to come to drive HER to the hospital. The day I was released she called me (I was in five days) said "I guess I won't get to see you until you come home" I told her that would be better anyway. She mailed me a card a week AFTER I got home, saying she was to busy with christmas coming to come over, and to much trafic on the roads. She lives 5 miles from me. I was not allowed to cook etc. No offer to bring a meal ( which would really help out her son. ) How ever did manage to complain that it would make her happier if her son would come and hang out door lights for her.... Hmmm.
  #60  
Unread 06-15-2007, 09:56 PM
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Ok.. so apparently a young male employee of mine decided to ask one of my managers what I was having surgery for. She didn't want to say as it is a personal matter for me and he apparently said "Ooooh.. is she getting gutted??" nice way to put it huh??? He's a young male.. so I don't expect him to understand but he better be glad he said that to her and not me.... Then a good friend of mine asked why I was taking off next weekend and when I told her so I could see some of my family and spend time with my kids she replied "It's not like you're dieing"... and this was RIGHT after her telling me it's ok to be nervous.. this is a major surgery.. crap.. I just want to spend some time w/ my family before being laid up for awhile and not being able to enjoy my summer... wow.. I need a beer.
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