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Really Upsetting Really Upsetting

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Unread 01-12-2005, 12:09 AM
Unhappy - Really Upsetting Really Upsetting

I am 34, years old, married 15 years.I had my total abdominal hysterectomy in aug 2004. I did not keep my ovaries. Ever since then. Sex is unfullfilling. It takes me so long to get aroused, I have dryness all the time. It takes me so long to reach an orgasm, and most of the time i dont. Makes my husband feels like i am no longer interested in him, Which is not the case. I am not sure what to do. I like the no periods and no monthly cramps. I just want my sex life back.

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Unread 01-12-2005, 12:44 AM
Really Upsetting

Talk to your doctor. Heck, drag your husband with you. He's involved in this. Make him do half the work. Perhaps the doctor can help him understand it's not him, it's just life right now.

Good luck!
Unread 01-12-2005, 07:48 AM
Really Upsetting

I think that a talk with your dr might be a good idea. I know that it is sometimes hard to have those talks ( I still myself ) but, it just might help.

Best wishes.

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Unread 01-12-2005, 09:34 AM
Really Upsetting

Hi Christine!

What are you using for hormone replacement? Sometimes it takes some tinkering to get it just right. Vaginal dryness is very uncomfortable and can make intercourse impossible. There are prescription estrogens specifically for vaginal use which your doctor could prescribe. You can learn more about them in this article about vaginal dryness. I used Vagifem and then switched to a compounded cream when all of my hormones were changed to compounds. I still use it twice a week and it is a big help.

Please give your doctor a call and have this important discussion. There are tips on how to talk to your doctor on the left side of the page just linked.

Let us know how you are doing, okay?

Unread 01-15-2005, 06:01 PM
Question - Really Upsetting Really Upsetting

Hi there, Iam 35 and had a total abdominal hyst + ovaries removed Oct 2003, I cannot take any hormone replacement and so was catapulted into instant menopause completely unprepared and without the options many of our sisters take for granted (no offense guys, there seems to be an assumption that everyone can take some kind of HRT if they choose).
I assumed that post surgery our sex-life would improve - no more pain! - it didn't. I had a complete lack of arousal and my partner took it very personally.
I would agree with the other posters that one of the first things you should do is talk to your dr, there may be things you have not tried yet.
You should also consider just talking to someone about it.
My arousal problem is not completely resolved but it turns out the most important thing for me to do was admit that I needed to grieve. I lost things, options, that I wasn't ready to lose, I was thrust into dealing with something I wasn't ready to think about and afterwards I was so busy proving how well I was coping that I didn't deal with it at all.
If this is completely irelevant to you then please ignore but once I started looking at these things our sex-life improved by leaps and bounds and the big "O" made a welcome comeback!

Unread 01-15-2005, 06:49 PM
Really Upsetting

You said it "I just want my sex life back" Boy do I ever. That is the one major regret I have from the surgery. But I am alive and here with my DH and kids. I went from having multi's to none,zip,nada. So depressing. Going to the Dr. on the 28th. Hope he can give me something. I aslo just started the Climara patch on Mon(10th). Let's hope this new year is good to us sisters and gives us back our sex life.
Unread 01-19-2005, 09:24 PM
What did you get told about sex after???

I was just wondering what you were told about your orgasm, sex drive, or anything to do with sex before your surgery.

Did your doctor mention it, did you ask other women who have had a hyst. I am interested to see what information you were told by anyone.

I was told by my doctor that my orgasm may change if I had uterine orgasms. Basically I can't understand my complete lack of knowledge with my own body before this surgery. It sometimes seems that after the surgery we then find out all this information, or at least with me.
Unread 01-20-2005, 06:06 PM
Unhappy - Really Upsetting Really Upsetting

Very frustrating for me too. And I am not even married yet. My fiance thinks it is all him. He has very low self esteem. I tell him its not him. Truth is I have no desire for sex. It is like the last thing on my list. When we first got together it was very regular. I had my hysterectomy about 3 months after we started dating. So our sex life has pretty much stunk for about 2 years now. WHAT TO DO??? PLEASE HELP!!!
Unread 01-20-2005, 07:00 PM
Really Upsetting

I wasn't told much prior to surgery, if anything I was told things would be better because of not having to worry about timing, we could have it "any time any place" only problem is I don't want it now. I have no interest what so ever it take too much time and effort to get aroused and the "o" isn't as good as it used to be.

I'm 40 and been married for almost 18 yrs. our sex life was at it's peak before surgery now it's like a job, luckily my DH is wonderful about not pushing things too much and he seems to understand to a point that we need to figure things out all over again.

Thing that I just never gave a thought about pre-op was nipple stimulation and orgasm and how much it was connected, things are basically dead now. I too take no HRT so there is no hope there for relief.
Good luck to you and I hope you can get things figured out soon to help
Unread 01-21-2005, 12:43 PM
Really Upsetting

I was not told anything about sex life either. The dr knew that I wasn't married so I think she just assumed I wasn't having sex either???? Does anyone know what kind of options there are?? It is starting to seem like maybe I am not attracted to him anymore. I know that is not true but he thinks it and now I am starting to also!!!

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