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An apology and an update An apology and an update

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Unread 01-12-2005, 01:09 AM
An apology and an update

Hi all!

I've been lurking, silently, for the last three months. They've been a roller-coaster, a bit, both emotionally, spiritually, and physically most of all. My anniversary (also my DH's birthday ) was spent in the emergency room with a partial small bowel obstruction. I did manage to avoid admission, and have had a bit more testing that has revealed some interesting results. Adhesions, everyone agrees, are certainly part of the problem. As it turns out, there's probably also Sjogren's syndrome (I meet one set of criteria and haven't had the biopsy that would meet the more strict criteria), which among other problems is contributing to a severe gastritis (stomach inflammation -- been there, done that!) and to some weird neurologic signs I've had lately.

I'm trying to find new doctors in the midst of all this. I work in two different and distant hospital communities, but they are too far away for much family support should admission ever be needed. I'm trying to find a new rheumatologist especially to work with on this Sjogren's thing.

Even though I've not been around, I do still keep you all in my thoughts and prayers! I've still been keeping busy; although physically I've not been able to go to school these last two quarters, I've gone back to an old passion for knitting (if you look in my photos you'll see some of the more recent projects). I'm trying to pick up some extra cash in that fashion.

A big help has been my DH, who finally has begun to open up about his concerns for my situation. He's been reticent to discuss it, feeling that I know my limits, my body, and my needs -- but he finally did say that it's gotten to the point where it worries him. I've had some recent severe low back pain, and it honestly feels to me as if I have something pulling on the muscles of my back which seems to be pulling my spine out of alignment. My brother's new GF is an acupuncturist, and I'm thinking of trying to work with her.

Surgery for a "look-see" has been brought up as a possibility, but who would I see? A GYN-oncologist, for the endo (which may be present yet again )? Or a colo-rectal surgeon for the rectocele that I can feel? A general surgeon? Who knows? I don't even really have a good internist right now. I miss Kaiser! I had good doctors there; now every time I go see a new doctor, there's a huge file and a long history that I've typed up. It's getting old.

The paradox of all this is that I'm fundamentally mostly healthy on a day to day basis. Yes, I've got all this "stuff" going on (the GI stuff is just the tip of the iceberg, as it is for so many of us) but I haven't missed a day of work to an unplanned absence in four years . It's hard to explain to the people around you the unimaginable fatigue, etc. I take the bus to and from work (it's an hour and a half -- at best -- whether I take the bus or drive) in part so I can sleep on the way home, so I have the energy for my housework and making dinner, all those life activities that don't stop even though I may not feel like doing them. I have mostly enough pain control, managing to make it through with one Vicodin ES (half at a time) a day and occasionally "weed" which has some appetite help (also anti-nausea, since I was getting nauseated when I tried to eat).

I've missed you all, but just no longer have had the time for the thoughtful replies, etc. However, everyone here is in my "wish list" for relief and healing!

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Unread 01-12-2005, 01:12 AM
An apology and an update

Hi Audrey,
I'm sorry to hear you have such ongoing problems. -- I can well believe you are taking the bus so you can rest up on the way home.

I keep you in my thoughts and prayers

Unread 01-12-2005, 07:45 AM
An apology and an update

{{{{{{{{{Audrey}}}}}}}}}} OMG, hun! I am so sorry you have been having all of these medical problems. I have missed your kind words here at HS. My only wish for you is to find some relief and good medical help to get to better health in the not too distant future. Please come by here and keep us posted on your progress. I wish you the best and my thoughts are with you. You deserve to feel good!

Emily s
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Unread 01-12-2005, 08:12 AM
An apology and an update

Oh Audrey, no appologies. We missed you, of course, but you have a full plate, darlin'. I will send lots of that a great medical team is assembled on your behalf to help you resolve your issues. You are an intelligent woman and I am certain that you will find the doctors that can help you.

BTW, I had great experience with a combo of accupuncture and chiropractic adjusments for my lower back. Didn't help my cyclical pain, but did help the lower back issues. There are all sorts of ailments that might be improved with accupuncture. I encourage you to give it a shot and see what kind of plan your brothers GF can map out for you.

I sense in you the tendency I have to overthink. As I say, that's my tendency and might not apply to you at all. I literally have to force myself to let go (due to pure exhaustion) and let people take care of me. I am blessed in that my gyn is extremely caring and compassionate and seems to have endless patience for my "overthinking" thing. I have an appt with a well known pelvic surgeon in a couple of weeks and I was chatting with my gyn about it and he very patiently said something like "well Michelle, just go and listen to what he has to say and you can decide if you want to take his options or not after that" Busted, again. He's right... one step at a time.

Best wishes to you and lots of healing s
Unread 01-12-2005, 12:01 PM
An apology and an update

Audrey 's

I am sorry you have been dealing with so much! I haven't been around much either. I too think about everyone here all the time. I can understand where you are coming from as I am dealing with alot of "stuff" too. Hang in there and keep us posted
Unread 01-14-2005, 06:36 PM
An apology and an update

((((Audrey))))) Dear I've missed you

I also can't believe all of the health issues you're dealing with. I understand about how people may not understand that you're in such poor health, because you can carry on: what you're dealing with is mostly invisible... it's hard for people to understand what they can't see.

Thanks for sharing your photos: they're simply awesome and the knitting probably does help, both physically and psychologically. I'm glad to read that your DH is proving to be so supportive: it's so important that our loved ones be there for us!!!

Wish I could wave a magic wand and make it all better, for you and for the other Road dwellers... but, since I can't, I'll just send this cyber your way.
Unread 01-15-2005, 06:40 AM
An apology and an update

Hugs, Audrey!! Dany is right! Your knitting projects are
awesome!! Your photos of your family and animals are also
amazing! It's interesting that you are so artistic, and you did not
pursue some type of creative career. Although, I have a son
who has a B.S. in studio art,sculpture, and cannot get a job!!!!!!!!
I am so sorry to hear about your latest medical issues. Since you have not posted, I assumed all was well with you. Bad
assumption. You are on my prayer list, so I have been praying for you even though I was unaware of your pain. I hope you are
able to find the right doctors and the right treatment so you
are feeling good again. Prayers are being said for you. Hugs,
hugs, and more hugs!!!!
Unread 01-15-2005, 12:55 PM
An apology and an update

Thank you for posting and sharing ((Audrey)) I think of you often...I'm sorry things arent better for you health-wise

I'm glad to hear your DH has opened up to you, that had to mean alot to you. I know how hard it is for men to watch their spouses suffer and knowing they cant fix us.

Your work is awesome, ((Audrey)) thank you for sharing those pictures.

My thoughts and prayers will continue to be with you, my friend I pray the future will hold some much needed answers and resolve to all you suffer....((((hugs))))
Unread 01-15-2005, 04:23 PM
An apology and an update

((( Audrey ))) I've missed you too. I'm sad to hear of all that you're having to deal with on a day to day basis. I can only imagine how draining that must be.

I'll be keeping you in my prayers that you can find good caring drs who will help you find the answers to a better future - problem free!

Unread 01-18-2005, 03:22 AM
I'm here to Sweetie...

I came today to see how some old friends were doing and your post was the first I saw this am.

I'm so sorry your still going thru so much sweetie...sometimes it seems neverending doesn't it? We plug along as best as we can and just wish in the back of our minds that one person in our personal life would understand just a hair of what we are dealing with in our daily struggle for pain control.

I thank everyone here that I still have this site where I can connect to others like yourself and find the comfort and wisdom only women in our shoes can relate to.

I'm so glad that your DH seems to be trying to understand and be a little more compassionate.....Good for Him!!!!! Mine is just plain braindead and just doesn't get it at all. I think that can be part of our battle in dealing with issues is knowing that the one closest to us does understand and wants to help.

Your in our prayers dear heart and we'er rooting for you...


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