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Cronic Pain....- Suicidal!!!!!!!! Cronic Pain....- Suicidal!!!!!!!!

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  #11  
Unread 01-24-2005, 12:18 PM
Cronic Pain....- Suicidal!!!!!!!!

Astrix:

Well, I take Zoloft. That keeps my suicidal thoughts at bay. Really the thoughts for me are like flashes ....like hmmmm wonder if I let my car run into this wall if anyone would realize it wasn't an accident? But, like you ... I wouldn't do it. I have kiddos to raise and it would be so unfair to them. I'm pretty good at putting that happy face on and they are having a really great childhood which I don't have the right to ruin.

Other coping stuff..... I have a wonderful gyn on my side. He's really there for me. My horse helps tremendously. I am blessed with some great friends (including my HS). I am taking pilates. I am an incurable optimist, so even when things are horrible I just "know" they will get better.

Saving the best coping mechanism for last ....

Hang in there ... it will get better. Keep looking for answers. Just because the doctors you have talked to can't fix you doesn't mean no doctor can fix you. There is a doctor out there for you.
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  #12  
Unread 01-24-2005, 02:46 PM
Cronic Pain....- Suicidal!!!!!!!!

Hi (((astrix))),
I'm so very sorry to hear of all you've suffered & your ongoing battle with Chronic pain

You've come to a wonderful place Unfortunately, there are many ((Sisters)) here suffering the emotional & physical toll that Chronic pain can take on us=(
The info, advice & most of all support can be so very helpful...sharing with others that truly understand has helped me deal with my own pain better. It has also helped to give me the inspiration & fight to continue my battle for answers & relief...

I suffer from Chronic Pelvic & Abdominal pain caused by extensive Adhesions <scar tissue> and Nerve damage that was the result of my Hyst & 2 additional surgeries from complications bought on by Adhesions.

It has been 5 yrs since my 1st surgery and the onset of my Chronic Pain. I have been seeing a Pain Mgmt Dr for the past 4.5 years...they were a true Godsend to me. I still have pain, severe some days but not like it was before. The good far outweigh the bad! I can function where before many days were spent curled up in bed in pain..crying...
I can now do things I was unable to do before, I have relief that stops the pain from being first & foremost in my mind 24/7!

I would highly recommend seeking out a Pain Dr or clinic! Here are a couple links that contain some great info on Chronic pain and Pain Clinics...perhaps they can be of some help to you in better understanding what they do:

Reclaiming your life in spite of chronic pain:
http://www.mayoclinic.com/invoke.cfm...D8F2358E9D3617

Pain centers and clinics: Turn to the specialists:
http://www.mayoclinic.com/invoke.cfm...E1813E8&locID=

Also here is the link to a section in our Resources we have on Chronic pain, there is some excellent info there as well:
https://www.hystersisters.com/vb2/lin...=browse&cid=29

I do hope these can be of some help to you (((astrix))) Please know your not alone...we are here for support, encouragement anytime you need us..

My thoughts and prayers will be with you that you can find some much needed answers & relief to these ongoing issues Please continue to post and share on how things are going....(((hugs)))
  #13  
Unread 01-24-2005, 03:23 PM
Cronic Pain....- Suicidal!!!!!!!!

I'm so sorry for what you are going through, but I'm very glad you found this group. Hyster Sister's has kept me sane through some VERY rough times. Even if we can't help your physical problem, there is always someone here to talk to. We all have very big shoulders and take turns crying on them, so don't hesitate to express yourself.

I have an auto immune disorder I inherited from my dad, called Hidradenitis Suppurativa. It first started when I was 12. At 39 I searched the net and found out what I have. I was always told that I was dirty, I didn't clean myself properly, on and on, it was my fault. I felt ashamed and just endured the agonizing pain in silence. The combination of shame and pain, my personality became negative. I was also abused by my sister while I was growing up... that didn't help at all. I was screwed up for years!

It got to the point that I couldn't take it anymore. I considered suicide all of my life. Gun? Slit wrist in the bath? Pills? I considered all my options. Luckily for me I have a strong inner will to survive. Four years a go I went to my new GP and talked about depression. I couldn't stop crying. He put me on antidepressants and over the years he has had to alter the dosage depending on what's going on in my life. I needed to up my dosage twice since I found out I need a hysterectomy.

In the summer of 2003 I found out that I'm not a disgusting, lazy pig. I actually have a disease! Unfortunately with most things in life, you have to fight for everything. I have had to fight for treatment, surgery. Insurance companies only want you to pay your premium. They frown on actually allowing you to use what you pay for so you have to fight with them. I've learned to be a total pain in the *****. If you don't keep on them, your claim gets laid aside and ignored.

I have been in constant horrible pain since I was 12. I'm almost 41 and still fighting. That's what you have to do. You deserve respect, treatment, and a life. I've found that getting angry is a great way to light a fire under me. Whenever doctors, etc. poo poo my condition or pain, I don't let them get away with it. I've yelled at doctors. They expect everyone to treat them like they are above everyone. I've also "FIRED" doctors. Yep, right to their face. If they or their staff do a substandard job, I go elsewhere. I give everyone at least three chances. I take notes, do research, and look them in the eye when I talk to them.

I'll tell you a little secret about doctors. They are in the service industry. We are their consumers. Our insurance companies pay them LOTS of money for their work. When you remind them that they are paid to treat you (they are not doing you any favors) they snap out of it. Fight! Fight! Fight! Never give up!

People will do whatever you allow them to do. I know... it gets so depressing to fight all the time. It's so tiring to stay on them, but remember, you DESERVE the best. No one will give you anything. You have to make it happen yourself!

Demand to see other doctors (specialists) who might be able to help you if your doctor isn't doing the trick.

Demand your insurance company to provide you with everything you have paid for over the years.

Seek help for depression. Find a really good councilor, it's harder than you think. Don't stay with the first one if they aren't helping you. Talk to your doctor about antidepressants. You should never be made to stay in the dark. That is unacceptable. You deserve a decent quality of life. Don’t let anyone or anything stand in your way to a better life.

Take care and remember, you are not alone. Not anymore.


Staci
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  #14  
Unread 01-24-2005, 03:28 PM
Cronic Pain....- Suicidal!!!!!!!!

GODBLESS ALL OF YOU......IF I HAD A TWIN TALKING FOR ME IT WOULD BE YOU, ASTRIX. WHAT A NEW BREATH OF FRESH AIR, I GUESS YOU COULD I WAS ALMOST AT MY WITS END. 2+YRS. WAISTED,BUT JUST READING THIS THREAD GIVES ME NEW FAITH THAT SOMEDAY, INSTEAD OF SAYING"THIS IS NOT ME,I WANT ME BACK" I'LL BE SAYING" I'M BACK!!!" THANK YOU
  #15  
Unread 01-24-2005, 03:40 PM
Cronic Pain....- Suicidal!!!!!!!!

Demand THATS MY NEW WORD WE DO DESERVE IT I'LL LET YOU KNOW THE RESULTS
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