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Is your DH acting weird? Is your DH acting weird?

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Unread 01-25-2005, 04:38 PM
Is your DH acting weird?

I had a TAH (kept ovaries) on 1/19; was released 1/22. Since I've returned home, my DH has been avoiding me like the plague. He barely speaks to me and hasn't touched me except for a few quick kisses at the door. I am not sure if he thinks he will hurt me or if he is merely repulsed by the new war wounds decorating my abdomen. (He finally got enough courage to look at them last night.) Are any other princesses' DHs exhibiting similar behavior?

Also, let me hear about the wonderful tokens of affection you have received from your respective DHs. Personally, I was handed a Wendy's Frosty on the way home from the hospital. LOL
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Unread 01-25-2005, 05:11 PM

What is DH?

There are so many letters for words and short cuts we need a glossary....

TAH= total abdoninal hystorectomy?
Many more...
Unread 01-25-2005, 05:22 PM
the DH behavior

DH means dear husband,

If you look up in the control panel on the top of this page, you can click on Hysterectomy information and scroll down. Then you can read about all the different types of hysterectomies and the acronyms for them. Hope that helps.

Senorafeliz, I am sorry your husband is acting this way. Often people will act distant when they don't know what to do. I know when I am sick I like to be left completely alone, except for a pat on the head once in awhile, and maybe a cup of hot tea. If you don't ask your DH for things, he won't know what you want. I suggest asking him to give you a hug, or make you a cup of tea, or bring you some ice water. My DH hates it when I ask him what is wrong-he doesn't see it as wrong, and that gets him all defensive.

It is sweet that he got you a treat on the way home. My DH bought me a little Siamese cat that was made with goat hair so it looked real. He was so proud of doing that so I wouldn't miss Kitty while in the hospital.

's to you and your recovery
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Unread 01-25-2005, 05:24 PM
Is your DH acting weird?

That's funny; mine is acting the same way after my LAVH/BSO on 1/19/05. He's done his best to take care of things, cooking and cleaning up the mess and so on, but not much in the way of displays of affection. I figure it's because he's either afraid he's going to hurt me, he's not sure how to act towards me, or he's afraid he'll start thinking about sex if we make lip-to-lip contact!

Sometimes I just don't think men realize how much emotional support means to us as times like these, and even if they're aware of it, they're not sure how to show it. If you figure it out, let me know!
Unread 01-25-2005, 05:26 PM
Is your DH acting weird?


It sound as if your husband is scared of something. From what you are describing he might have the "if I don't acknowledge it then it doesn't exist syndrome". Have you tried to talk to him about this?

senorafeliz: DH stands for Dear Husband. There actually is a glossary. here is the link:

Good luck!
Unread 01-26-2005, 10:05 PM
Is your DH acting weird?

Dear Senorafeliz,

I am sorry that your DH is not responding affectionately. Maybe you should talk about your feelings with him openly -- he may just be scared of this new experience.

I am fortunate to have a very supportive husband who took two weeks off of work to be with me after my surgery. Now that I am feeling better and more active, he often takes the opportunity to dance with me in the kitchen!

Best regards.
Unread 01-27-2005, 01:21 AM
Is your DH acting weird?

i thought dh meant something else!!well it does in my soon to be ex hubbys case anyway!!**** head!!!!
Unread 01-27-2005, 07:21 AM
Is your DH acting weird?

My husband was the same exact way -- very distant. I felt so very alone. I don't think he knew how to emotionally handle my surgery, or how to treat me. Add to that the hormonal crying and grouchiness and he was worse! It seemed like he did a huge improvment when I went back to work. His whole personality and treatment of me changed. He did go through a mild depression before and after my surgery. Now i"m the one dealing with the depression and he is being supportive of me and my situation.
Unread 01-27-2005, 12:04 PM
Is your DH acting weird?

You know what, I thought mine would not be very supportive. He's a very emotional person, but when I have problems and cry, he freezes up. Even after explaining to him, "When a lady cries, your job is to put your arm around her and comfort her" has never helped. Oh, well.

But, he's been unexpecteldy kind and supportive. The doctor dashed out of surgery and waved a pic of my giant fibroid in his face to his great shock - maybe that had a lot to do with it

I did have to get over myself about the house being a mess, though. And it's hard to believe how excruciatingly slow and inefficient he is about household tasks. Us women just seem to be naturally talented multitaskers!

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