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Oh, WHAT fun (this is NOT how the plan was supposed to go!)! Oh, WHAT fun (this is NOT how the plan was supposed to go!)!

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  #11  
Unread 01-31-2005, 08:09 PM
Oh, WHAT fun (this is NOT how the plan was supposed to go!)!

Hi, Sistersong,

You have a lot of good suggestions here, so I won't add any more. Wish there were some way to get across to some people just how serious this surgery is.

I went to my regular doctor today and was complaining about how tired I've been (had surgery 3 months ago). She summed it by saying, "You don't understand - you had REALLY major surgery! This is going to take some time."

Don't you wish we could get this across to other people?

Hang in there, things will get better!
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  #12  
Unread 01-31-2005, 08:14 PM
Major Surgery

Yes, getting the "major surgery" concept across to others (let alone me) has been a big issue.

If you're like me, the challenge is that we look healthy and fine on the outside after 9+ weeks, or more, but we are still healing. Even I have had a problem with that. I just thought I'd bounce back and feel energetic in no time. WRONG.

Our friends, families (and even us) need to be patient with the patient!
  #13  
Unread 02-07-2005, 05:27 AM
Oh, WHAT fun (this is NOT how the plan was supposed to go!)!

I guess im feeling a little down today my castle visit was on 1-26, so im still less than two weeks post op. My husband is no better, you would think hes the one who had his inners removed!! I was already mad at him and after reading all these posts , I think I hate all men !!!!!! LOL

TAH Jan 26 2005
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  #14  
Unread 02-07-2005, 06:45 AM
they don't get it

My DH was great for like 5 days until the weekend. Then he wanted life back to normal, i.e. him lying on the sofa with the remote and me doing everything. Not gonna happen bozo! Do not leave your bed, get dressed, or put make up on. My DH complained more yesterday about the Crest White Strip he had on his teeth for 30 minutes than I have about major surgery!. They simply are not equipped. He got up this am got ready for work, I had to remind him 3X's to walk the dog(of course that translates into me nagging) and he left for the train. No goodbye, no do you need anything? and of course no emptying of the dishwasher. I could go down and empty it but no way baby! If he goes through all 8 sets of china, every paper plate, who cares? Everytime he does something stupid I shop online. When he gets his AMEX bill he'll know.And he'll pay...........
  #15  
Unread 02-07-2005, 08:55 AM
Oh, WHAT fun (this is NOT how the plan was supposed to go!)!

I can't remember where this quote is from, but it seems to fit here:

"Stop the world -- I want to get off!"

I hope you're waking up to a better, less pain-filled day today. Continue to take advantage of the help you are getting with your toddler. Is there a middle-school or high school student in your neighborhood who needs to earn a few dollars? If so, he/she might be willing to come over for a few hours each afternoon after school and play with your little one, and maybe even help fix a quick supper (my ds (4) LOVES watching the Easy Mac cook in the microwave!) a couple of nights per week.

Good luck to you!
  #16  
Unread 02-07-2005, 08:58 AM
Oh, WHAT fun (this is NOT how the plan was supposed to go!)!

Hello Sistersong,

I have been reading your posts even when we were both "ladies in waiting". The first post I read on you was when you were afraid, upset and in pain before the surgery. I felt that I was reading a post I could have wrote. The response you got from the group, I had see in your follow up threads, I know comforted you, as it did me. Ironically, we seem to have similar issues. We are all stressing post surgery about different things. Try not to get upset, (easy to say, hard to do!). We have just gone through a traumatic event and are still in shock. Though it is frustrating we have to remembe, it will take time for us to heal. If I can make a suggestion to you that I preplanned before my surgery. I am single and live at home with my parents but do the bulk of the house keeping and maintenace because they are in the upper 70's, (I feel as though I take take of two kids myself at times, with them!) So I hired a housekeeper to come and clean the house every other week, probably for the next month or two...so far this has worked out well. I am not made of money and this is costing me dearly, (I'm not getting paid for my time off of work) but I think the money I'm spending on this has come back to me in the form of less stress, because I like to keep a clean house, I don't have to put anymore physical burdens on my mother, (my Dad has some dementia, and can't function well), I can rest and I know I can heal well myself without putting too much strain on myself, and it just gave me the piece of mind I needed. Hang in there, spring is coming and with each day I know we are getting better.

Take Care, Jeanne
  #17  
Unread 02-08-2005, 08:13 AM
Oh, WHAT fun (this is NOT how the plan was supposed to go!)!

Sistersong.
I can relate some but read my post(help my family is not helping out.)
It might make you feel better cuz it could be worse.
I have no mom,lost her when I was pregnant too and all my other family has passed on.My hubby ran most of my friends off .

My hubby took 8 days off to help but spent the whole time watching tv or playing a playstation.

I would kill for my mil to help with my kids even though I can't stand her.
I would love to have any grandma around too help.
Guilt trip or not You got some help .Be thankful and blow off worrying about guilt or complaining from the help.

Before hubby even went back I was having to do things I shouldn't for my 14 month old.Can't really leave her in her crib with a dirty diaper while fussing at hubby to change her for hrs.I just had to pick her up and change her.
I haven't hit 2 wks post op yet and I am back by myself taking care of her most of the time (sometimes hubby comes in from work and actual does care for her while I try to nap before the boys come in from school .
Since he goes in at 4am I had to also start getting my 4,9,10 up bathed,dressed,fed and off to school.After school the fun starts homework , stop fist/kicking fights ,keeping them from destroying everything ,picking up after them,get them fed
then the bedtime battle/war starts since exactly 1 wk after surgery.
Nobody helps from day 1 till I have a major hissy fit.We have run out of clothes and dishes which did not bother hubby and kids just said mom we need dishes .I have done some a few times and gave up.Got hubby to do them yesterday but paid a price for it .He was so mad he threw dishes and screamed at all of us.
Last night i picked up some paper plates!
Pampering what is that??

As far as pain relief you actual got morphine even for abit after leaving the hospital?
When I was in the hospital I got it but by next day when my pump ran out they took it and put me on vicoden 5/500.When i left I got 20 vicoden es.
That is a joke but found pretty typical for whatI had done.Found only afew did better in my post about
pain medicine.
I did have to call and get more but got 16 5/500 then I went back to my doctor and got 20 more vic 5/500 this past Thursday.I suffer with chronic pain and was on vic es up till a month before surgery then family doctor took me off so I wouldn't be tolerant to the pain meds after surgery well did not help .I still needed to take 2 vic es every 4 hrs that1st wk.I still hurt but each day is better except the daysI over do it .I see my family doctor today and I am hoping we can do something better for pain when I do need it .I'm not counting on morphine though lol I think you must of lucked out.

Anyway I feel for you but know your not alone and you could have my hubby.


reepks
he didnt get out of bed till 12:30. In the mean time I was up with the kids (7 months and 4 years) and dogs. Trying to get breakfast, give a bottle, let dogs outside, dress barbie, give baths and so on. The more time went on the more mad I got. I am just ready to scream. Im sooo frustrated.,

Reepks,
I feel your pain!!! I am frustrates too.Your day there sounds allot like mine are.
I don't know how we make them understand.I did think of something I am going to try.I see my doctor who did the surgery again Friday and I am going to ask him to talk to my hubby about why it is important for me not to over do it and that I need help.
If that helps will let you know maybe that might do the trick.
  #18  
Unread 02-08-2005, 01:15 PM
Oh, WHAT fun (this is NOT how the plan was supposed to go!)!

pshannon34,
I really feel for you and I hope you can get him to realize that he needs to get off his butt and let you rest.
I thought having my Dr. talk to him at my 2 week apt would help too but it didnt sink in. I will be 3 weeks post-op tommorow and my hubby has already started bugging me about having sex!!!!!!!!! I dont know what is wrong with his head!
Life around here is back to normal, with the exception of me not going to work, every thing is my job.
I do have to admitt that I do feel pretty good but the more I do the more I pay for it the next day.
It just feels good to have someone to vent to! Thank you

Good luck to you! Ill be thinking of you.

Kim
  #19  
Unread 02-08-2005, 01:44 PM
Oh, WHAT fun (this is NOT how the plan was supposed to go!)!

We are such brave people. I am so proud of myself and you all should be too for going through what we have been through. Like a lot of the sisters on here people dont seem to understand ,after all we haven't got our leg in plaster or anything have we, there are no visible signs, so people assume we are fine now.
I am 4 weeks post op, I have 2 grown up kids, one still lives at home, but cos im here, then good old Mom will do it. My daughter asked me the other day if I would like to drive 40 miles to go to the cinema with her!! Im afraid they just dont understand. As for men, my boyfriend dumped me a week before my surgery, because I wanted to spend a day alone with him and didnt include his 9 year old daughter, said i am selfish even though i spent all of Xmas with him and his daughter.

Having said that I am very lucky in that I spent the first 3 weeks at my Moms being pampered and left my son at home to look after my 10 cats!! who all contracted cat flu the week i came out of hospital.

Although I have had aches and pains like most of you, it is mostly in my head, the frustrations etc, cos it is easier to do things yourself most of the time. But you musn't, like a lot of the ladies said, so what if the house is untidy, who is gonna die.

I am also getting frustrated about not working. I am self employed and obviously have no money coming in whilst i am off work. I dont feel like working, I just want to lay around all the time, I think depression is setting in to be honest. But we have to be strong, if us ladies can deal with something like this, we can do anything!!!
  #20  
Unread 02-10-2005, 02:40 AM
Oh, WHAT fun (this is NOT how the plan was supposed to go!)!

  Quote:
Originally posted by reepks
pshannon34,
I really feel for you and I hope you can get him to realize that he needs to get off his butt and let you rest.
I thought having my Dr. talk to him at my 2 week apt would help too but it didnt sink in. I will be 3 weeks post-op tommorow and my hubby has already started bugging me about having sex!!!!!!!!! I dont know what is wrong with his head!
Life around here is back to normal, with the exception of me not going to work, every thing is my job.
I do have to admitt that I do feel pretty good but the more I do the more I pay for it the next day.
It just feels good to have someone to vent to! Thank you

Good luck to you! Ill be thinking of you.

Kim
Thanks Kim,

Shoot If the having the doctor talk to your hubby didn't help you then I am sure it will not help me.
My appt got changed to Monday I don't know now if I should bother or try itanyway and hope for the best.
I have pretty much just gone oh well and accepted it and just don't even bother with asking and nagging and then getting into the fights.
I think all that takes more of a toll on me then just dealing with it.
So like youit is pretty much life is back to normal.

I am glad that you are feeling pretty good and I hope it gets easier on you each day.
I think when I wake I feel pretty good and can take on everything without to much paying for it but I have had a few set backs with infections.
Wed nothing got done and I really didn't care ,I caught a virus my kids have had and oh boy it is really hard to deal with throwing up after this surgery.

My poor sweet 4 yr old though I was out of it when he was due off of his bus.Hubby was home from work and I thought ok he can get him off the bus and i layed down and out I went
but oh no he forgets and Cody ends up riding around on the bus till they picked up my oldest.<sigh>


I cannot believe your hubby already asked for sex geez now my hubby wouldn't dare and I will give him credit for that he bugs me like crazy when we can but hasn't said a word about sex since the surgery,he knows I got stitches and doesn't want to risk hurting me that way but go figure he doesn't get it about me needing to take it easy in everything else.

glad to have someone also to vent too that understands exactly.It does help doesn't it.

take care!
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