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What to say when asked "how are you?" What to say when asked "how are you?"

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  #1  
Unread 02-03-2005, 01:01 AM
What to say when asked "how are you?"

I saw a thread like this earlier and have that same ?

I do not know what to say not even to my own DH anymore so i stutter out i'm fine, or OK or some days i just say you don't really want to know the answer to that do you?

TAH 11/11/04 hardly any pain before surgery compared to the pain i am in now surgery supposed to heal chronic pain (lots of history with LAPS and pain and disease you name it ) and also heal bladder pain somehow (which i really never quite understood) within 6-8 wks. Now from day 1 recovery intense bladder pain burning pressure all the time 24-7, a horrible sensation of pressure like something is going to fall out of me and now at 12 wks the area on the right that felt like it was tearing inside the tissue beside my incision has a hard lump growing in it and the other day it litterally protruded out of my abdomen visibly and was so painful i was dibilitated for 2 days now it comes and goes the part were it sticks out but pain burning constant. Th left side os developing the same thing ripping tearing feeling every time i move feels like whole or gap in tissue.Constantly tired, moodswings from hell, hotflashes at age 30 and insomnia to the point i forgot (well almost forgot) my own bithday.

Now how do you some that all up in one phrase?

In actuallity they do not want an answer because every time if it is an honest one it is not going to be the one they want to hear, the one answer that says i'm fine can i do you laundry or walk your dog or cook dinner for you friends that is the answer they want to hear.
What is you favorite answer?
hkaci75
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  #2  
Unread 02-03-2005, 01:07 AM
What to say when asked "how are you?"

I have 2.....

I am working on it.
and
I am getting there.

Thats usually enough unless they really want to know then they will ask more questions.

Best wishes
  #3  
Unread 02-03-2005, 03:35 AM
What to say when asked "how are you?"

I'd say, I am as well as I can be expected to be as I continue to heal. Thanks for asking!

If they *really* want more then that then tell them your entire story!

Best wishes to you!

Sybie
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  #4  
Unread 02-03-2005, 08:31 AM
What to say when asked "how are you?"

"i'm getting there."
or
"I have good days and I have bad days yet."

Let them wonder if this is a good or bad day.

Jane B
  #5  
Unread 02-03-2005, 08:34 AM
What to say when asked "how are you?"

I use "Hanging in there", "Better than Yesterday", "I've been worse", "taking it day by day".........
AND depending on who asks
"well let's see ...the doc cut me open like you would if you had killed a deer.....hmm you make the decision on how I am at___ weeks"
for church ladies:
"fine but still not up to 100%....pray for me that I will get better soon"
Another one....i use it on my husband
"well .....I don't have PMS....but I don't feel so hot either....ask me in 30 min ....my mood swings may think I am better by then"
To my children:
"mommy feels better .....but no super mommy just yet....I am still the sick princess .....I need a kiss and a hug"

Jenn
  #6  
Unread 02-03-2005, 08:51 AM
What to say when asked "how are you?"

I have several answers depending on who is asking.

For co-workers: "I'm a little better every day. It's a journey."

For my boss: "I am doing as well as is expected, but this is a much more difficult and lengthy recovery that I'd imagined."

For my mother: "I'm feeling great. There's no need for you to come!!"

For DH: "I'm tired, sore and just want to take a nap." or "I have some energy today, let's go somewhere!" or "I don't have the energy to vacuum, do laundry, or iron but I do have enough energy to watch you do it!"

For my best girl friends who really care and want to know: Always the plain unvarnished truth.
  #7  
Unread 02-03-2005, 09:20 AM
What to say when asked "how are you?"

My friends know that I don't really want to talk about it, (OK, I'm squeamish, hospital phobic, and a 'medical wimp', can't stand that stuff - who HATES being sidelined) but if I happen to bring it up then they are very interested to hear, and may ask a question or two - which is fine, once I've opened the door. And they DO understand...

Other than very close friends, it really hasn't come up. I'm self employed (office at home) and felt that any health issue coming up wasn't going to be good for business, so I have told next to no one - no clients, no consultants, not even my courier.

It was pretty easy to camouflage a 3 week absence as a vacation, and after about 4 weeks, I could 'fake it' in person, for an hour or two at a time. I purposely haven't had any longer meetings than that. I do most everything via 'e', and have been able to appear 'as usual' most of the time, and since week 1, I have always sounded fantastic on the phone. LOL! Little did they know...

So, on the one hand, I didn't have alot of people camping on my doorstep with cake and concern (they didn't know), but on the other hand I never felt that anyone disappointed me. (they didn't know)

joano
  #8  
Unread 02-03-2005, 11:55 AM
What to say when asked "how are you?"

My co-workers (all except my immediate supervisor) thought I had been on vacation. So when everyone saw me waling "funny" and "you are so pale, what is up?" I just told them, "I had a surgery and it is going to take quite a while to heal fully from it. . . in the meantime, I am still me, just slowed up is all. . ."

For family - well, some are medical, and they want to know everything! Through long distance, I talk to one of them daily. They keep saying "go lay down now!"

For my DH, he wants to know daily - he was scared witless when I had to get his boss to send for him, when my surgery was scheduled earlier than expected (DH was at a remote site) and he thought I had been in emergency surgery or something - since he admitted that fear he felt to me. . . all he says is "you go lay down (!!!). . . .what can I do to help?"

I feel guilty that he has to do everything around the house, and all the cooking, but it is better for me to admit I have to rest.

Mostly I say "some days are good, some not so good and I am doing all I can to heal. . . "
  #9  
Unread 02-03-2005, 01:45 PM
What to say when asked "how are you?"

Lol, this question is why I chose not to tell most people I had this surgery. . . .I dont' know how I am <grin> am I allowed to say that? much of the time.

It varies.

Dh knows how I feel without asking too much ( he can tell by the clouds above my head : ) and the others who ask (and there are not many who know) have no idea what the op. is, or what it involves, and just make polite noises.

Suits me.

I am beginning to understand that this is one of the things u don't really understand until u experience it.

Love
Hope
  #10  
Unread 02-03-2005, 09:55 PM
What to say when asked "how are you?"

What a great response to this post like i said i kinda borrowed it from a previos dated post just to see what would happen.

It's a GREAT ? keep responding sisters.

hkaci75
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