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Sometimes I just hate my doctor... Sometimes I just hate my doctor...

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Unread 02-04-2005, 07:41 AM
Sometimes I just hate my doctor...

...but don't get me wrong -- he is an excellent professional. So why the love-hate pattern? Because he is an idiot when it comes to explaining what to expect at any point post-op.

Most of what I learned was through this site. No matter how much I have been determined to ask him questions, he conducts his "business" in a way that you constantly have the impression he's in a hurry and is not really there with and for you. For the third time, I have given up asking him my doubts and expressing my concerns.

He is too professional, checks if everything is going as expected (whatever his expectations happen to be) and says "OK, I'll see you in 4 weeks."

Yesterday I went for my 6-week appointment. I was really eager to learn what I can do, now that I am practically out of the woods. He got caught up in dealing with a possible bladder infection I'm having and never really got to talk to me as I wished he would. He gave me some paperwork for a urine test and an IVP exam and "see you in 4 weeks."

I asked, when he was at the door, "Just a sec, can I get back to the gym? Can I resume intercourse? Can I carry any weight?" He just said, "Sure, take it easy, but yes. Good bye."

Like I said, he is very competent and I know he knows what he's doing, but his people skills really s#@$s!

I was wondering if any of the sisters would share with me what they were allowed to do at 6 weeks. While I understand that this is an individual experience, I'd appreciate to have at least some basic guidelines.

Thank you!
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Unread 02-04-2005, 07:49 AM
Sometimes I just hate my doctor...

I can soooo relate to your dr experience!!! Everyone keeps telling me to drop him but he is technically the best around so I put up with a lot of doo-doo to get the best surgeon. It is so frustrating!!:hair:

I am 3 weeks out and have few restrictions...mainly no sex and no lifting. Everything is going well and I expect to be given the green light to resume normal activity at 6 weeks. Everyone heals at a different rate so please err on the side of caution when you see the answers to your question.

Sorry that you didn't get more info at your appointment but I am sure a lot of 6 week-ers can help you here!

Unread 02-04-2005, 08:15 AM
Sometimes I just hate my doctor...

I'm just past three weeks and I can relate to what you are saying. My surgeon won't give me a straight answer about returning to work. Her answers vary from 4 weeks to 12 weeks....big difference. I'm a nurse and have to be able to lift up to 75 pounds. I work on the floor where her patients are admitted and I still can't get a straight answer. My four week appointment is on Tuesday. Can't wait to see what she says then. Does she think just because I'm a nurse I know the answers?? This time I'm the PATIENT!
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Unread 02-04-2005, 09:10 AM
Sometimes I just hate my doctor...

I know exactly how you feel. My doc is excellent technically, but he laughs off all my questions. I went for my four week check yesterday and he cleared me for work, sex, exercise etc. When I complained about the hot flashes he said he'd put me on estrogen. I asked him about going on estrogen so soon because I had severe endo. He then read my file and said I needed six rounds of depo-provera. I really didn't want the shots, but he really thought I should have them. So, I took the first shot in the office. I asked about side effects and he didn't have many answers. I can find very little information on the net about this treatment after a hysterectomy. Right now I'm very frustrated and I don't feel like going back to work next week.

TAH/BSO turned out to be fiboids & severe endo
Unread 02-04-2005, 09:37 AM
Sometimes I just hate my doctor...


I know what you are all saying. Some doctors have the worst bed-side manner yet when it comes to MEDICAL expertise, they are wonderful.

I have become accustomed to most doctors starting the "stop-watch" the moment they walk in the exam room door. It's like I am ready to fire the questions out as soon as he gets one toe in the door. I know I don't have much time and it is a sprint to the finish!!! I try, now a days, to ask my questions all in one question. All in one breath.

At six weeks post op I was cleared for everything. Vague statement, I know. I just realized that I couldn't just JUMP right back into life right away. I decided to ease my way back into chores around the house and back to my exercise program. I used to go to the gym a lot, but decided to start with power walking first. I figured, for me, it might be too easy to overdue it at the gym.

I am 10 weeks post op now and am back to doing most of what I did before. I still watch myself and be careful with lifting and pushing things. As for the "intimate" (sex) issue, haven't done that yet. Too scared and no desire.

I think if you just gradually (key word) work your way back into life, you run a much less risk of hurting yourself. Listen to your body. Some days will feel more tiring than others. Just go with the flow.

Best of luck to you!


Unread 02-04-2005, 10:43 AM
Sometimes I just hate my doctor...


I was reading your post about you having to ask your Dr. about resuming intercourse, and I am sitting here laughing so hard!

Both times that I have seen my Dr. post-op, he has made it very clear to me that I have to wait 12 weeks. Sometimes he is a little hard to understand because he has an accent, so I guess he has to demonstrate. He grabs my knees and places them together and says, "If it hurts, stop him by doing this."

All my Dh says is, "if you had any dignity going into this surgery, you have none left after!"

Oh well, I guess each DR has his own personality!

Take care!
Unread 02-04-2005, 10:44 AM
Sometimes I just hate my doctor...

I definitly understand your situation.
When I was pregnant I went to a dr. who had a great bedside manner. But I kindof question his ability now. When my son was born (june 2004) I had my tubes tied. Well, somewhere, somehow something DIDN"T WORK. I got pregnant within 4 months. When I made my drs apt I could not bring my self to go back to him. I was afraid I was gone kill him!!!!!! *punch*

I switched to a different doctor that has incredible skills but I really feel he doesnt have the bedside manner. When I ask questions about my TAH he has really vague answers. He also acts like I should heal quicker because I am younger. I will admit, he is the first dr. that I have had that if I ask a question about how some thing feels (I asked if a TAH is worse than C-section) and he said "I cant tell you for sure, I have never had either one"

another major difference Ive noticed is that my new Dr. seems to keep paitent comfort in mind at the time of surgery. When I had my C-section in june they put the cathitor in, gave me a shot of heperin in the stomach, disrobed me on the operating table while I was awake. It was a total nightmare. Going through that again was my biggest fear about having my TAH. My new Dr. did all of these things after they put me to sleep. It was a lot better experience!

I guess they all have their good and bad points. I wish we could take all the good from each Dr. and roll it in to one SUPER DOCTOR!!! I don't care how much more Money $$ he/she cost, Id go!!!!
Unread 02-04-2005, 11:03 AM
Sometimes I just hate my doctor...

Sorry you are going through what you are with your doctor. THe most traumatic losses in my life have been my ob/gyn and my hairdresser. (no, I'm not joking) It's hard to find either that you are happy with. I've lucked out with mine. Because of the nature of my surgery, it involved two docs from the same office. I like them both, they both have a good bedside manner, and they give me the info I need. However, I am more partial to one than the other and he's not my primary (am I being unfaithful here? lol). He's also the one I've had the most contact with and has made it abundantly clear that I can call him for ANY reason and should do so. He called me yesterday to see how I was doing, asked it I had any questions, and when I told him the office hadn't called back to schedule my appt for Monday, he told me to just "come in at 1 o'clock". Later the office called, I told them, and it's done. I don't really expect to get this kind of personal treatment all the time, but I'm eating it up while I'm getting it!

I am only 5 days post op, I was sent home with a catheter, which wasn't too thrilling, but my kids think we should decorate the bag with sequins so I can go "clubbing". We are having fun with the experience.

I have the wonderful hubby, good kids, and a faithful friend that is driving over 400 miles just to take care of me this weekend. I'm one happy camper.

Best wishes to you!
Unread 02-04-2005, 11:05 AM
Sometimes I just hate my doctor...

Thank you so much for all your messages, guys! It's so nice to know that we are not alone!

I guess all of us could write a great book containing hysterectomy war stories, eh?

Luvmabug, I was imagining your doctor talking to you in his broken English. Ha, ha, very funny...

Come to think of it, maybe that's why my doctor doesn't get what I want to know. English is not my first language, so perhaps if I start making gestures or using sign language he will get the message!

When I came home yesterday I kept thinking of all the questions I did not have a chance to ask him. Argh... So frustrating...

Some doctors can be excellent in both areas -- technical and relating to people -- but, as reepks said, most do not have the qualities we'd love them to have all together.

My previous gyn was like a dad to me -- so caring and so competent. I miss him soooo much. I guess most of why I am suffering is because I keep comparing this guy now to my "dad" and Dr. Too Practical will never be able to live up to my expectations.

Anyway, thank you all very much! And if you have any tips, please let me know.
Unread 02-04-2005, 11:30 AM
Sometimes I just hate my doctor...

The best thing you can do to keep your head straight is to make a list and walk in the office with it. Nothing is more frustrating than waiting for the doc to either call you back or come to your room only to forget half of what you wanted to ask! Argh.

If I get an answer I don't quite understand, I keep asking questions until I do and they can't leave until I "get it". They eventually give in and talk to me until I'm satisfied...I can be a brutal pest, but this really is all about ME, as it is about you!

Good luck

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