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Unread 02-12-2005, 05:30 PM
My mother

On monday i had asked my mother if she would stay with me the week after i had the surgery. Due to the fact my hubby had taken so much time off with his heart attack. She was fine with it. Had not heard from her all week until yesterday. She called and started complainig about how bad she felt, her whole body was hurting her. You know it just sounded like she was leading up to something. Anyway, we get to talking and i told her on monday after my pre op i would pick her up and show her how to get to my house. Nooo..she does not know how to get to my house...thats a whole other story. When i said this...she goes..."well if it is foggy ....I AINT COMING"! I was stunned...i couldnt believe she just told me that. I sat there for like 3 minutes and didnt say anything. I finally said...well..ya dont have to come at all....dont worry about me...I will find someone else to come stay with me. And then I hung up on her! I just couldnt understand how a mom could be some self centered. Her ONLY daughter would be in pain and needs her help(god knows i didnt want to ask, but i knew she wouldnt offer) and she is more concerned with driving in the fog. UGHHHHHHHH!!!!!! So now im back to not having anyone with me that first week. Can you say ...CALGON TAKE ME AWAY!!!!!!!!!

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Unread 02-12-2005, 06:00 PM
Been there!

I also have a narcissus for a Mom. I found help a day or so before surgery. Seems like my Aunt cried sick as well. (I got home from the hospital yesterday). It will work out. You find out who your real friends are...that's for sure. I am single with two kids, so I know how it can be. A lot of things will not get done, but it will be there when you are better. Thanks,
Unread 02-12-2005, 06:01 PM
My mother

Ouch! Maybe your mom is frightened, or just can't face seeing you down? Take a breath, have a glass of wine, (in the tub with Calgon)and call her back.She's your one and only and you don';t need the stress of discord.
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Unread 02-12-2005, 08:13 PM
My mother

I'm sorry to hear you're having this problem with your mother.

You only have a few days until your surgery, so if you are pretty sure your mom isn't coming, you should probably find someone else to stay with you if you can -- or at least someone to check on you regularly for several days.

I don't know what to say about your mom specifically -- at this point, you are probably best served by just taking care of yourself. If she wants to be involved, she will be. But if you get into another uncomfortable conversation with her before surgery, I'd just try to end it as quickly as possible. Something like, "You know, it's really not good for me to get upset so close to my surgery -- can we talk about this later?"

I wish you the best.
Unread 02-12-2005, 08:39 PM
My mother

Having a Mom as similar to yours as I do, I know where you are coming from. She is actually coming out, but I know I'm going to hate every second of it. I wish you the best of luck in all of this. Let us know how you are doing and if there is anything we can do to help!
great big hugs

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