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Anyone else feel strange because you KNOW you have to rest, but feel guilty? Anyone else feel strange because you KNOW you have to rest, but feel guilty?

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Unread 02-16-2005, 03:43 PM
Anyone else feel strange because you KNOW you have to rest, but feel guilty?

Hi everyone.

I overdid things on Monday and Tuesday and did not feel so great last night. So I made up my mind that today I would really rest and pamper myself

Well, I have sat in my recliner today and read, watched T.V., dozed a little, etc. I have been up to walk and piddle around the house. It's too cold to walk outside today.

I'm just feeling bored or blue or useless right now. I know I have to rest. That is not the issue. It's the feelings of knowing there are so many things to do and I can't do them. DH will probably work 10 hours today and then pick up granddaughter and then come home. They have been wonderful.

I've never had surgery before, and didn't know what to expect.
I'm following doctors orders and drinking water, and walking, and not driving yet, etc.

It's just been a long day. Usually someone calls. I would call a friend, but they are all at work. I'm just really feeling isolated today. My tummy feels kinda hard and tight right now too. Is that normal?

Hope the rest of you are having good days.. I'm not really having a bad one. Just feeling kind of useless. And I'm on HRT.... so I haven't been havining bad mood swings.

Thanks for letting me tell someone how I feel.

Sandy in Kansas
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Unread 02-16-2005, 04:01 PM
feeling useless

I know exactly how you feel. I had my surgery 2 weeks ago and feel fine. I'm tired of being restricted. It sure makes for a long day doesnt it?
We are all out never have to feel alone
Unread 02-16-2005, 04:03 PM
Anyone else feel strange because you KNOW you have to rest, but feel guilty?

Hi Gail.
I am going through the same feelings you are. I went out last Monday (1 week out) and walked & stayed on my feet probably too long. I also got sick of the dishes and loaded the dishwasher. During that I felt something near my incision that was sorts like a thump. Now I have a discharge. Since I virtually had none after the surgery, I called the DR. She said that a bright red one was probably from a stitch dissolving, and as long as I was not having a constant flow or a gushing one that I ought to be okay. So, here I sit, wearing a pad again.
My friends are home from work getting dinner ready. I'm having to leave the cooking to my DD, who is a little resentful. She thinks that if I am able to walk around, I can cook.
I feel isolated and a little down. I feel that even when my friends call, I have nothing to offer to a conversation. What I'm going to try to do is stay up with things going on at work, and keep in contact with my friends. Maybe in a few days, I can get with a friend for a cup of coffee somewhere other than this house. I just have to keep telling myself that this is not a permanent state.

Take care,
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Unread 02-16-2005, 04:36 PM
Anyone else feel strange because you KNOW you have to rest, but feel guilty?

Oh god yes, I sneak house work when my hubbys at work and then suffer for it. Im going to see the dr tomarrow for my two week check and im feeling guilty to even ask for more pain meds. Its like im not worthy to be sick or something.
Unread 02-16-2005, 05:23 PM
Anyone else feel strange because you KNOW you have to rest, but feel guilty?

My surgery was 3 weeks ago yesterday and not complicated at all. I was able to keep my ovaries and cervix, so sometimes I think maybe there is not as much in there that has to heal as some of you sisters have to deal with. I also had disolvable stitches. It is a little tempting to try more than I should, but so far I haven't. My first post-op visit to my Dr is scheduled for my 4 week mark.

Physically and emotionaly, I feel pretty good. I am doing light housework- cooking easy meals, wiping off counters, dusting, easy laundry, ect. (no vacuming or heavy lifting). I am also back to working in my office at home. I have alot of paper work to do. I have been able to go out to church and meetings with no problems. I am tired the next day, but not so much that I really need a nap. I have not been to Wal Mart yet- I am beginning to get homesick .

I my dh is a farmer and we have our farm base here around our house, so he is in for lunch and in & out of our office here in the house all day so I am not lonely. Our married 22 yr. old ds farms with us, so here is working here most days. Our 20 yr. dd commutes to college 2 days a week, so she helps me alot

I do feel a little frustrated looking around at some of the jobs that I would like to be doing. I am trying to "be good" and not do anything that will make my recovery longer, but I do feel lazy at times.

I tell myself to hang in there and use this time to learn more patience. I am really looking forward to the freedom I will have after everything heals up and I no longer am tied to the bathroom as I was before my surgery.

Blessings and hugs to all you sisters!!
Unread 02-16-2005, 06:11 PM
Anyone else feel strange because you KNOW you have to rest, but feel guilty?

Yes, I feel guilty.

I work in a small 3 person office. 2 people minimum required at all times. Today, I talked on the phone to one of the 2 holding down the fort. I feel really bad now. Her 85 year old mother had a biopsy done yesterday, and found out the lump on her breast was cancer. So today was the mastectomy. Plus this employee is having medical problems of her own.

There is no one else to help out. I am going to go to work tomorrow, to help in any way that I can. Even though I am not cleared until Mar. 8. (I am the boss, so don't say I have a mean boss!) I will be careful, and not lift any large weights as normally is required.

Doesn't look like I will have the 6 weeks of rest I had hoped for, but I would feel even more guilty if I at least didn't try to help out, considering the circumstances. My employees would do the same for me, if they could.
Unread 02-16-2005, 06:23 PM
Anyone else feel strange because you KNOW you have to rest, but feel guilty?

I feel the same way - exactly!! I am 8 days post op and feel fine. I am totally sick of tv, can't read ALL of the time. I have watched so much plastic surgery on TV, that is all I talk about! I also feel guilty that I have all this time all work and I am not being productive. But all the things I want to do that are productive involve something I am restricted against. I guess we are all not used to just having a reason to recuperate. I know we are all doing what we are supposed to but it is so strange to not be running around like a crazy person doing everything. Thanks for writing, I no longer feel alone and that I have a unique problem!

Just keep on taking it easy - that is what we are supposed to be doing at this point!


2-8-05, TVH, one ovary removed, suffered from multiple fibroids for too many years!
Unread 02-16-2005, 07:28 PM
Anyone else feel strange because you KNOW you have to rest, but feel guilty?

I know how you feel! I am 8 days post surgery for TAH BSO. I am so SORE still, I can't imagine trying to do anything very strenuous at all. I stay on my bed with my laptop and the tv in the room on, I have books and puzzle books, and crocheting. I get up to use the bathroom, and sometimes I'll walk downstairs to lay on the couch and watch that tv for a change, or walk into the kitchen and get something to eat and drink...but I feel so very guilty! Even though I hurt and I am THIS sore...I still feel, well, useless. It's kinda funny really, one side of my tummy feels nearly healed, not sore at all really. My left side is soooo sore, and heaven help me if I see something funny and laugh at all. I end up crying in pain. I know 8 days isn't much time, but if I feel this guilty despite how much I hurt after only 8 days, I'm so afraid that when I feel better still, I'll be overcome with guilt. My DH is trying to be so sweet and wait on me hand and foot, and that just seems to irritate me further. I should be ashamed.
Unread 02-16-2005, 07:52 PM
Anyone else feel strange because you KNOW you have to rest, but feel guilty?

This is so me as well....from the hospital on the day after my surgery I called into work to make sure everything was running smoothly, and that my girls didnt have any pathetic is that! Now every time I call into work just to see how things are going they all tell me that I should be resting and not worrying about work and hang up!!! hahahaah
Unread 02-16-2005, 10:49 PM
Anyone else feel strange because you KNOW you have to rest, but feel guilty?

I completely understand how all of you feel. I am a teacher and my students are scheduled to take a huge reading test next Wednesday. This test determines if they go to the next grade. I have been out 3 weeks and even though the teacher taking my place is just as good as me and even though I wrote all the lesson plans for her in advance I still feel guilty!

I feel like I am letting my students down. I talk to the teacher every night and I am constantly emailing my principal. I even went to see my students on Monday and I went to a meeting on Tuesday.

I decided to day that enough was enough and I was not going to feel guilty anymore. I go back to work on Feb. 28 and until then I am staying away. I will still talk to the teacher but that is all I will do!

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