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WARNING - dont read books from the library WARNING - dont read books from the library

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  #1  
Unread 01-25-2001, 01:23 PM
WARNING - dont read books from the library

Ladies, please say a prayer for me. Im really having what feels like the worst day of my life. I went to my local library and borrowed a book called The No-Hysterectomy option. I was curious about early menopause so I got it.

I had a good feeling that what I am about to go through is right for me. Im having a TAH. The outcome was going to be for the best...no more heavy cycles, unbearable cramps, horrible mood swings, anemia, migraines...the list goes on.

This book was horrible. It says that 1 out of 5 operations have something go wrong.....either during or after the surgery. One woman dr said that women should be awake during their surgery so drs are more accountable for what they do. I was planning on being put to sleep.

I lashed out at my oldest son this afternoon harder than I would normally and Im so upset with myself.

Ive read what others have said, and all this is normal...but it sucks. I hate being scared. I hate bing such a cry baby. I hate not being in control.

SOMEBODY PLEASE TELL THIS IS THE RIGHT THING TO DO....tell
me this book is wrong.

Im really really struggling here...
Rachel
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  #2  
Unread 01-25-2001, 01:45 PM
WARNING - dont read books from the library

I would urge all women considering a hysterectomy to stay away from books like the one you read. There are also many negative sites on the internet. The best thing you can do for yourself is get a second or even a third opinion. You have to be satisfied that this is the right thing for you. Once you have made up your mind to have the surgery talk to women who have had a hysterectomy. Read the message boards here and ask questions. Yes, there are complications possible with any surgery, but most surgeries and recoveries are uneventful. Rachel, take that book back to the Library. It's only getting you upset. Then write down any and all questions you have and post them here. We'll answer all of them honestly based upon our own experiences. {{{{Rachel}}}} Don't read any more of those books, okay?
[Edited by Catherine on 01-25-2001]
  #3  
Unread 01-25-2001, 02:44 PM
WARNING - dont read books from the library

My aunt and a good friend have had TAHs and they say it was the best thing they ever did -- honest. I haven't actually met anyone who has had a problem with a hyterectomy. Of course, there are probs (message board here has section for long term complications; you could even post there and get some feedback from those gals) -- but you have to weigh those problems against problems you are having now which may be more major. I have the same prob with books and the internet -- I get so easily influenced and then get very emotional. To me the main ingredient in a successful TAH is an excellent surgeon. Mine is foremost in our city. I think it is important to be sure you have a superb technician -- I don't even care about bedside manner (although it's nice it doesn't substitute for top-notch skill). If you have the best doctor then I think you should have confidence in what you are doing. If you aren't sure about your decision and you think there are other less drastic options to explore (like special diet etc) then explore those first. I'm to the point really try to filter what I listen to. My friend always says don't "let in" anything to your mind and heart that is not for your greatest and highest good. That book isn't helping you; it is upsetting. Return it!
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  #4  
Unread 01-25-2001, 03:15 PM
I have to agree

Rachel,
I have to agree with the posts here so far. With everything you have told me, hysterectomy is a good option for you. I try to remind myself that books like the one that you mention are written by people who have their own personal agenda. They are not your doctor, they do not know your personal medical history. Some of them are throw backs from the women's lib days. Don't second guess yourself or your doctor. Take the book back to the library and relax!!
  #5  
Unread 01-25-2001, 03:47 PM
Different Choice

It really irks me when I see these articles, books, etc. Back 20 or so years there may have been a lot of hysterectomies done for the wrong reasons, or simply because there were not other choices. There are also some really valid reasons for having a hyst. There is nothing wrong, immoral or illegal (as far as I know) about wanting quality of life without pain and bleeding. If you have been informed of the options available to you and made your choice, that IS the right one. After 2 1/2 years of "test" fixes I was given the choice between a hyst and fibroid removal and I WILL have a hyst on 2/7. I am not trying to single about one out here or offend anyone, but I think people attitudes make it more acceptable for truly cosmetic surgery then some thing can really make you medically better. I don't want to start a debate on this, but I am tired of hearing about women made to feel bad on this topic! Sorry so long....
  #6  
Unread 01-25-2001, 05:21 PM
WARNING - dont read books from the library

Rachel, I'm sorry you got rattled by that book. I had a similar experience.

Unfortunately, there is quite a bit of stuff out there (books and web sites) with an agenda (other than helping a woman make the right choice for herself). I guess this is due to the fact that there were a lot of unnecessary hysterectomies done in the past (1950's+).

These sources suggested that I should/could avoid a hysterectomy by drastically altering my diet, getting acupuncture treatments, fixing my personal relationships, getting UAE (uterine artery embolization), getting a myomectomy, holding out for menopause, etc. It was very confusing and scary because the first two docs I saw were quite matter-of-fact about their recommendations that I get a hyst. (They were right, but their bedside manner sure stunk.)

While these treatments may work for some women, a lot of these sources avoid discussing when a hysterectomy *is* indicated. They also tend avoid the (diminished) quality of life issue.

Rachel, I had symptoms similar to yours, and I really did not want to have a hysterectomy. But I read piles more of stuff, talked to 4 other women who had hysterectomies (all 4 were thumbs up) and lurked on this site and read posts from women who had symptoms like mine. I found another doctor who was willing to listen to my concerns, and I eventually decided that having a hysterectomy was the best thing for me to do.

If you're really not sure about having your surgery, you can cancel and get another opinion. I agree with Catherine: you have to believe that this is the right thing for *you* to do.

It's good that you found this site. Best wishes to you, Carolyn





  #7  
Unread 01-25-2001, 06:02 PM
Books

I read numerous books, and took them all with a grain of salt, mainly because they are SO biased and out-dated. Some of the feminists really had it out for doctors and "invasions" of women's bodies. Made a lot of women feel guilty and "suffer in silence". Not healthy!!
Every one of your problems; I have them too & more. I'm sure surgery is right for me, because I've exhausted whatever means I can otherwise. Drugs don't work, I've put up with this for four years!!
Rachel, you need to determine what is best for *you*. Ask another opinion if you feel better.
I'm 38, having the TAH/BSO & tummy tuck and will heal at once, no seperate procedures to go through. Dh has two weeks off, the girls the 3rd. It has all (by the grace of God!!!!!) fallen into place. I'm scared, but I'll have to have faith I'll be fine.
Take care of yourself and let us know?? (((HUGS))))
  #8  
Unread 01-26-2001, 02:07 AM
WARNING - dont read books from the library

Any book, article, or conversation that opens with the premise "you don't need a hysterectomy", without knowing anything about your situation, should be flat out ignored.

Sure, there are risks, you know that. There are risks in getting out of bed, driving to the store, riding a horse, picking up a baby, gardening, answering the door... Geez. We still go ahead and do those things when it makes sense to do them.

There are also risks associated with *not* having a hyst in many cases. In my case (fibroids) those could have included bleeding to death, anemia, pain, inactivity, weight gain, poverty, painful sex, lack of interest in sex, poor career choices, not living up to my potential, forfeiting my hobbies, and any number of other nasty things.

I wonder what the author was including in "things that could go wrong"? Yeah, things go wrong. I have a nerve pain that's bugging me on my left side - it'll probably take 6 months to go away - so what? I've otherwise had a perfect recovery - I'm not complaining. Would I be counted as a "something went wrong"? I'd still do it again in a second.

You just have to look at the risks and benefits in everything you do, and go with what works best for you.
  #9  
Unread 01-26-2001, 08:38 AM
After last night...

I'm more sure than ever. I went to my daughters' volleyball game. I had gotten my period AGAIN on Wednesday! Bonus - last one at least. Anyway, whihld sitting there watching the game...... I'm sure you can all guess...... It was like a hemorage (sp) yes in deed, ruined another pair of pants! Then had to sit there and drive home like that. Thanks goodness I have a long coat.

  #10  
Unread 01-26-2001, 01:02 PM
read post op thread

On the post op board...probably about page 3 or 4 now...I started a thread...the best thing about my hyst. There are testimonials from the been there/done that set that are very encouraging. The 'choice' for my hyst was not mine to make...I had uterine cancer, so my alternative was not an option for me. I have had a few ups and downs with the hormone issue, as have many others, but with a little patience and tinkering most of us get that worked out. I have only heard one story in 51 yrs on earth that a woman was not happy with her hyst...and she was VERY crazy before her hyst so I do not think her problems were hyst related. This is not to say I am not encourging you to explore all options...its your body and your decision. But do also listen to the happy-hyst stories! Just wondering...did that author have a hyst? Or was it written by a man who has not expierienced heavy bleeding, pain, pms?
{{{{{{{{{hugs}}}}}}}}}}
kaatie
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