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Radical Hyst 12/28/00-4 mos. preg. Radical Hyst 12/28/00-4 mos. preg.

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  #1  
Unread 01-29-2001, 05:29 PM
Radical Hyst 12/28/00-4 mos. preg.

I had a radical hysterectomy with pelvic lymph node and michel's diverticulum removal on 12/28/00. Pathology came back all clear from nodes and tissues and Drs are not recommending radiation or chemo just 3 mos. check-ups for next 2 yrs. I was also 4 months pregnant with what would have been our first child. How do I get people to understand that radical hyst. means "no baby" and no future babies. This has been my worst nightmare and my husband and I have been devastated by this. We believe that the baby saved my life for I never would have even had a yearly pap test until probably next year or so and by then my cancer could have been through the cervical wall and into the bladder and rectum. If anyone has been through something similar or has some ideas for explaining my situation to others, please e-mail me at [email protected]

Thanks so much for listening. Billie
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  #2  
Unread 01-30-2001, 12:51 AM
Radical Hyst 12/28/00-4 mos. preg.

Oh My! {{Billie}} I'm so sorry for your loss. I can't begin to imagine how difficult this must have been for you and your DH. I honestly don't know what to say except offer you my prayers and well wishes on your recovery. I know this must be very bittersweet for you that this saved you from a more progressed cancer but at such a price. I can't think of any good ways to get through to people without it being very hard on you but I'll think on it some more.

Please take care and know we're all here for you.

Vicki
  #3  
Unread 01-30-2001, 03:47 AM
Radical Hyst 12/28/00-4 mos. preg.

I am so sorry Billie, I spoke to you in chat and had no idea that this is what had happened. Please let me send some hugs to you ((((( Billie ))))). It must be hard trying to explain how you feel to people who haven't been through something like this. Please email me anytime if you would like to. Please take care . love always
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  #4  
Unread 01-30-2001, 07:04 AM
Radical Hyst 12/28/00-4 mos. preg.

My heart goes out to you!! I am so sorry to hear of your loss and disappointments. Have you posted on Aching Hearts? I am thinking that you might find someone there who could relate even more to your situation. It is hard enough to get people to understand the difficult emotional times that a hyst brings, but you have so much more than just that. I hope that this only brings you and dh closer together. Please know that I am keeping you in my prayers. I wish that I had something more encouraging to tell you, but I am at a loss of words. God Bless!!
  #5  
Unread 01-31-2001, 08:12 PM
Radical Hyst 12/28/00-4 mos. preg.

{{{Billie}}}

I don't know what to say other than I am so sorry to hear this. Lean on each other to get through this it will help. I can't think of anyway to tell people either it's just a shame that people are so ignorant of the female body that you need to. I will keep you and your DH in my prayers.
  #6  
Unread 02-09-2001, 05:28 AM
Radical Hyst 12/28/00-4 mos. preg.

I too lost a baby with my hysterectomy, although I was barely a month into the pregnancy, and had not even noticed it yet, but still cannot say that I understand what you are going through. I found out I was pregnant the morning of surgery, and simply refused to think about there being a baby involved. I often think, and wonder, but that time is over. I cannot go back, so I try not to. I do grieve the loss though. I did not tell my husband, nor did I allow doc to tell him, and I will not share this with him. It would have been his first child (I have 2 adopted girls) and I know it would hurt him horribly, but he would never mention his hurt, and I am afraid of what it would do to him to hold in that pain.

Hon, I will pray for you, for the peace of knowing you did the right thing. To bring a child into the world that you will not live to raise is not always the best situation. You and your husband may want to look into adopting after you are over this. Children of the heart can be as big of a blessing as children of the body, and there are SO MANY children out there who need and want help. I don't think I could love my two more if they had popped out of my own body, they are the lights of my life, in spite of all the bother teenagers can be (My baby is 19 and going through THAT stage.)

  #7  
Unread 02-09-2001, 01:46 PM
Radical Hyst 12/28/00-4 mos. preg.

Although I have not gone through what you have gone through I would like to offer you some hugs {{{Billie}}}. People just don't understand or don't know what to say so instead of just offering condolences they say something stupid. Years ago my second child was born with a birth defect, people never even acknowledged that we had a child (no cards, flowers) Know this, this child was sent to you for a short time of 4 months in your womb, you are still a mother - a mother of a special angel in heaven. Take care
  #8  
Unread 02-09-2001, 03:23 PM
So sad for your loss

Billie,

Very sorry to hear of your tremendous loss. You explained it very well here and I think you can do no more than that when speaking to others. Either they can handle it and understand or they cannot. You lost your only child and that is the truth. The heartbreak is real and anyone who can't understand when told only that will not understand no matter what you say.

From what you say it sounds like you will always have a special bond with this child, especially since you recognize that it in all probability saved your life. May you have a long one and may you find fulfillment in the future.



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