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Unread 10-27-2008, 01:34 AM
Only Child

reading your post made me think bout my furture!! noah just turned 1 and i had to have a hysterectomy just a week after having him due to complications caused by a dumb dr!! and im soo afraid that noah will want a bro or sis and i cant do that for him! or im still so young that my bf wont want to stay with me cuz he will want more children! i always tell myself that they left my overies so i can always hire a surrogate or adopt! but we will see! or maybe he will be happy bein a only child bc then he wont have to share lol he is sooooo extremely spoiled!! lol!! but thanks for all your post! hope to hear from you!!
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Unread 01-07-2009, 12:15 PM
Only Child

Our DD is an only child. We do feel blessed to have her. She is 9 now. When she was about 3 or 4 she begged to have a sibling. That was about the time I scheduled an ablation due to numerous problems. Anyway, long story short: when she was 5 or 6 she was begging that we wouldn't have anymore kids. She does not want to share us with anyone else. I think only children probably go through these stages and turn out just fine. She is so involved with her friends at school and gymnastics that I have a house full of giggling girls almost every weekend! We are all given a path in life and it is up to us to make the best of it. Adoption is a fantastic idea if you and your husband want another child but feeling guilty because "you cannot give your child a sibling" is not constructive. We moms tend to blame ourselves for everything and feeling guilty is just second nature to so many of us. Set your path accordingly and let the guilt be on it's way out. All the best to you!
Unread 01-07-2009, 11:28 PM
Only Child

I have an only child, a son. I decided to stop at one after problems after his birth. He is now 30 years old and the most wonderful person. He is sociable, has a great career and everyone loves him. I often think when they are "only" children they learn to socialise better. I used to feel guilty but I got over that. I realise that I am lucky that I have him.
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Unread 07-20-2009, 08:17 AM
Re: Only Child

I have a 4 year old son who is our only child. He has not asked for a brother or sister but he does know he has a twin that we lost. There is never day that goes by that I do not think about the fact that there should be two 4 year old's running thru the house.

Again, he knows he had twin but I do not know how much of that he really comprehends. He has never really asked for a brother or sister but he has asked me why others have a brother or sister. I just tell him because some mommies and daddies have more than one baby but you are really lucky bc you don't have to share your mommy and daddy with anyone else. I have told him that they have to share their mommy and daddy. At this point in his life.....he says he does not want a brother or sister but he doesn't want to "share".

I second the motion of a dog or a cat! We have two yellow labs and they truly are a great buddies for a child.
Unread 05-25-2010, 08:26 AM
Re: Only Child

Oh boy well this post hits home with me because I'm an only child and as guilty as it makes me NOW that I'm older I used to beg my mom for a sibling a lot as a kid. Actually my mom could have had one however she had such terrible PPD that she was afraid to and right when she finally got the courage to when I was about 7 years old (it was that bad she didn't even think of another till I was that age!) she lost her good job and so she and my dad gave up the idea. But I wanted a sibling until I was nearly a so or jr in high school. Then though as I got older I appreciated it!! So, those of you feeling guilty don't because your child may appreciate it and see the positives of it later.

I don't know maybe a suggestion could be to point out some of the good stuff like they get all of mommy & daddy's attention and they can afford certain things (maybe?) that you may not be able to spend money on if you had a new baby to take care of?? I didn't get stuff like that pointed out to me so I think that could help a child, depending on their ages of course....

I have 1 child, she's under a year so too young to want more but I'm facing so many female issues & had a very difficult pregnancy AND issues after delivery (one thing I could have inherited, PPD, I did not thank The Lord!!!) but, still am afraid to do it again. I'm actually scared I may die (maybe being over dramatic I don't know) so...yeah not sure if my daughter will get a brother or sister. I know in my heart I want to but the fear is there and my Dr reminds me there's no cure for the pain I've been having but a hyst. I'm 29. But, I would get a 2nd and even 3rd opinion before going the hyst route I suppose though sometimes I feel its inevitable. None of my parts are in the right position and they just cause me pain. Dr has tried to move them thru surgeries but they just fall back over...? Ah well!

Sorry this is so long but yes, point out the good things about being an only- time with mommy & daddy, more time to do things as a small family together, maybe take lots of vacations too. I didn't get a lot of those growing up and if I had maybe I would've felt a bit better. I'd say the years of 6 or 7 to 15 were the hardest but once I starting thinking about my own self (indulgent adolesence lol) I decided I kind of liked being an only then!
Unread 05-25-2010, 09:05 AM
Re: Only Child

My 7 year old daughter does the same thing. Shes an only child as well and if I didnt have the problems I had I may have been able to have one more.Nature has a way of letting u down but I was very lucky with her she was an infertility baby and im so glad I had her when I did it wasnt long after the problems started.We may look into adoption I love to have a newborn I would feel more connected that way but I know it can take so long for that to happen.Were stable now bought a house a couple months ago my husband is a pipeliner so hes never home.I know u have to have a home study which isnt a problem ts finding a time hes home.Usually hes home on the weekends.

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