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Emotional wreck Emotional wreck

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Unread 03-24-2005, 07:01 AM
Emotional wreck

I am sorry that your DH is not being supportive of your need for therapy---especially when you say that you feel you need it. If your insurance doesn't cover it, you might want to try and contact your local social services dept or mental health dept to see if they can help you. I wish you the best and I hope you get the help you want.
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Unread 03-24-2005, 12:25 PM
Emotional wreck

Another idea for CONFIDENTIAL counceling is thru your employer if it's available. You can contact your human resources department at work and see if they have any kind of EAP (employee assistance program). Where I work we have the option to talk with a counceler one on one about ANYTHING that we are struggling with. It is strictly confidential and there is no way your employer can find out out and another plus is that at it's completely free, and nothing goes thru your insurance. We just got it where I work and I'm going to check into for myself.
Maybe in talking to a counceler they could give you ideas on how to make your dh understand what you're going thru. When I went thru counceling a long time ago it really helped my relationship with my fiance (now dh), my mom and my dad. They were able to realize that depression is not controlable and that I honestly couldn't help what I felt. It help me understand where they were coming from and vice versa.
Please check into that at your work and I'll be praying that something like that is available. You need it (just my opinion).
It's so hard holding things back for fear of being criticized about your feelings you can't control. But eventualy when it does come out it's not good (this is only my experience).

Please Please Please see if something like that is available asap. I wouldn't wish depression on my worst enemy. Especially since youre taking xanax you've got to have the counceling to go with it.

Like I said before, I know am only 25 but I have been thru so much with my health an depression and it's been rough. now with my continuing health problems the counceling I had a long time ago still helps me manage my emotions better.....sometimes, we all have good days and bad days.
Oh another idea, if you and dh are going to church you could probably meet with the pastor alone if you don't find anything else.
I hope and pray that you can find some help and apologies for typing so much, I talk too much too.

sending the biggest s ever to you friend.
Unread 05-17-2005, 11:42 AM
Another idea for you.

Do you go to a church? You could talk to your pastor. If not, because you know him personally, how about calling around to other churches and I bet you could find someone to council you. Just an idea. Hope you feel better soon. This is the first reply I have made to a post. This one really got to me. I think we all feel similar at times, even women who haven't had to have a hysterectomy. I think it is sometimes the thing called Life, which equals stress and stress can do a lot to a person. Please find someone to talk to. You could also check with your local hospitals and see what kind of support groups they have. Good luck and take care.
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Unread 05-17-2005, 03:50 PM
Emotional wreck

I agree with some of the others here... the mix of meds could be a real problem. I have found that I have better luck talking to my pharmacist than my doctor about drug interactions. He really knows his drugs, and keeps all my drug allergies on file to make sure everything I take works together. Your doctor may know what to prescribe, but he really doesn't know that much about the drugs he's prescribing.

Wishing you all the best.
Unread 05-18-2005, 02:05 PM
Emotional wreck

Hi im,

I was happy to come across your post, because now i know im not the only one who's, to put it mildly, and emotional wreck. I'm not "me" anymore. If somebody asked me who Sam was, my answer would be I couldn't tell you plain and simple. DH i really believe is getting sick of seeing and hearing me complain about this and that, the pain, the way i feel, but yet he says he wants to learn about menopause, but has yet to bother.

I know men don't get it, especially mine, and to be honest, i am not looking forward to telling him that the dr is going to put me on antidepressents (I know he's going to). DH thinks that depression can be fixed with only "mind work" and that it's all in your head. We've argueed about that a few times. And his opinion on councelling, well lets just say he's a typical male when it comes to that. I feel like i've got no support from the most important people around me, and that really hurts b/c if anybody would do their best to help me through this awful s#&^^y time, it would be DH or family.

I am beginning to hate everything about me and my life. I want to quit my job, I want to run away from everybody and just hide until this is over, I worry that this is going to put so much strain on my relationship that it's going to end, or worse yet I wonder if I should end it b/c i'm not the same person I was when we met. And that's not like me at all. I've got a great DH, with the exception of his "faults", we're doing renos, i'm trying to study, my job, well that's another story but i can't leave it b/c of the extra income. I would rather lay in bed most days and just cry. I live in a house that consists of men. MEN MEN MEN. And i feel like I have to put on this false exterior to make them believe that i'm "somewhat" like the person i was before all of this so that i think that they won't be thinking "well, now what's wrong with her". I keep almost all of my feelings to myself b/c it's like as much as people "pretend" to listen, their just doing it to be kind, and when somebody does "listen", they say something to the effect like "it's not that bad, or, it's all in your head, or, you'll get over it soon don't worry about it". They don't realize that each and every day is almost a challenge to deal with the emotional pain, the physical pain that i was told would be unlikely to return, what a crock of you know what. I'm 28 and feeling like i've made the worst decision of my life having this surgery. I would do anything to be "me" again.

The toll it's taking on my relationship is weighing me down like crazy. Things aren't the same, and no matter how hard I try, it's like there's no "spark" anymore from me at least. But even when we are intimate, I can't think about nothing, my mind is consumed with "please don't let this hurt, oh, that hurt, change positions see if that will work etc. etc." I JUST WANT MY OLD LIFE BACK.

There were a lot of things posted that really struck me hard, and I wish I could of posted a more positive thread, but now I know i'm not alone and that there are other HS that are right there beside me on this "wonderful" journey (being sarcastic). And knowing to that other HS's DH or BF are acting the same as mine, makes it a little easier to know that there is more we can talk about and HS will understand.

Take care ladies, and together we'll stay strong.
Unread 05-18-2005, 03:06 PM
Emotional wreck


I'm not a medical professional by any stretch of the imagination. I'm just giving my opinion, so take it for what its worth.

I can say that when I thought about ending my marriage and one of my core beliefs is "til death do us part" I knew something was really, really wrong. Part of my answer was Zoloft. Chronic pain/illness is NOT your fault. You deserve a better quality of life than this and your doctor is an excellent place to start.

Consider printing out what you typed here and taking it with you to your doctor's appointment so he can see what your life is like day to day. Its really important to be brutally frank. Sometimes its easier to hand something to the doc for him to read than it is to talk about it. Whatever works for you, just be honest.

Lots of s I am truly sorry for your pain.
Unread 05-18-2005, 03:32 PM
Emotional wreck


thank you for the suggestion to print this off and take it to the dr's. i will definately take your advice. it would be easier for me to hand him this paper instead of tell him how i feel as i would be a blubbering mess! I know i need help in some way or another, but i just thought that i could do this on my own, but now my times up and i need the docs help.

i'm just looking forward to feeling GREAT again and being me

i'll keep you posted. take care everyone.

Unread 05-18-2005, 04:27 PM
Not alone!

Thanks to you all! I felt so alone. I am 6 months post-tah & removal right ovary! I have endo, pcos and had adenomyosis!
For the past 3 months I have become very labile, quite manic at times and very angry & violent towards myself, ( punching walls, head-butting my wardrobe!? and hitting myself on the head sometimes with my hand & don't laugh sometimes with my hard soled slipper!?!) I cry a lot and not suprisingly have a permanent headache! I seem so mad- can't believe I was once a competent,able, always in control type of person!
I've been thro all this before when my first chocolate ovarian cyst burst and when I was prescribed prostap injections putting me into a temporary menopause!
I still experience daily bowel pain, bladder pain, backpain, heartburn, and all my scar sites are quite red and prickly to touch.
I still get swelly belly and have episodes of complete bone-aching tiredness!! I am 35 years old and yet feel twice that at times!!
I too lost my mum 2 years and 8 months ago. My grief feels so new and raw like it all happened yesterday! I really miss my best friend's hugs, nose squeezes and unconditional love!
I so wish I could be something mum would be proud of again!
Anyway not being so alone makes it seem a lighter load.
Thanks again!
Best wishes

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