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Help!  Husband doesn't get it! Help! Husband doesn't get it!

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Unread 04-09-2005, 04:58 PM
Help! Husband doesn't get it!

My DH has been great through the entire process of deciding I needed a hyster. I know he'll be a wonderful caregiver over the next few weeks, but he doesn't have a clue how to handle my rollercoaster emotions. Prime surgery is Tuesday, and he just very casually announced that he is working the following Saturday. Say what??!!!! I thought he was taking one week off. He said the office is short-staffed and they need him. I immediately yelled at him about his boss being insensitive, and then I burst into tears. Cried for about an hour. DH has no idea why I'm so upset. How on earth do I help him help me with the tremendous emotional upheaval?

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Unread 04-09-2005, 05:18 PM
Help! Husband doesn't get it!

Give him some time. Men can hide their emotions very well...My DH has been very supportive and involved. He went to the library the other day and checked out 5 books on HRT, Hyster, menoupause, endometriosis, etc then sat with me in the bathroom while I took a bath and read to me. Every man is different and deep down he is probably hurting emotinally just as much as you are but you have to have positive communication between the two of you in order to get through this. It's hard for them to understand how you feel emotionally or physically if it is something they will never have to personally endure. Ask him to read a book with you or look at articles on line. Just something together where you both can share this and grow closer together.

Good luck Tuesday. I have a couple of more weeks.
Unread 04-09-2005, 06:54 PM
Help! Husband doesn't get it!

mine went to work the day after surgery for 4 hours because they had a test due and my surgery was rather urgent, no time to schedule this time off. I was ok with it, I know its important for him and his job. What does he do for a living? I wonder if he is trying to soothe a boss that has no compassion....

Good luck.
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Unread 04-09-2005, 07:06 PM
Help! Husband doesn't get it!


I'm sorry. I probably didn't make myself very clear because I was still crying and so upset. I'm not that upset over the fact that he has to was the casual and rather callous way he presented it to me. He didn't stop to think that this may be upsetting to me. I seem to cry about anything and everything....this is the part he just can't seem to grasp.

Unread 04-09-2005, 07:12 PM
Help! Husband doesn't get it!

My surgery is Tuesday as well. I know what you mean about emotions. I am so ready to get this over with but all of a sudden I feel so overwhelmed and could just sit and bawl like a baby.

I guess I am lucky though because my husband knows that this is serious and he will have to help me out. I think the fact that he also talked to the doctor and watched the video on the surgery helped him alot understand what will happen to me during the surgery and after.

It sounds like though if your hubby has been supportive that he may understand more than you think and just is taking it in stride. I know how maddening it can be when they have to go to work when they are suppose to be on vacation though. My hubby has a pager and even though he is "officially" on vacation for a week they have still paged him several times already today and at one point he even had to go in and do something. However, he did tell me that he has told them that Tuesday they are under NO circumstance to page him for any reason.

Good luck to you!!

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