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My thread to sanity is fraying My thread to sanity is fraying

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Unread 04-19-2005, 07:50 PM
My thread to sanity is fraying

Hi Ladies,
gosh i really hate to write this and whine all over again.... who else would understand and make me feel better....I need a real life....

Ok, so here goes, I wont elaborate, just get it all out....I fought for months to get into school, got student loans, and all they have for summer are courses that are A) FULL or B) STUPID!! So consequently if I dont find a couple more courses, I will be waiting until Sept and that means going into trouble with student loans, and having absolutely no means of living for the next 4 months. Hugely stressful and that in itself is making me want to run away from home, and hide.

I had asked a 'friend' to come over as DH is going through his obligatory spring depression, and did he show up?? No, of course not. Yet when he dumped his g/f last year, and DH was at the end of his rope this friend came over, crying about how broken hearted he was, and never once paid attention to DH. I finally flipped out and told him to quit being so selfish. Sooo, now when Dh needs him, he isnt there...And people wonder why I have no friends.

I am seriously contemplating putting my cat down as she pees everywhere, and had posted about this so wont go into it.

I am tired, and wondering how long my depression will stay away at this point. DH is kickin hisself in the rear for giving up his funding, my mom is just tickin me off, and my kid has a lot of bad attitude. I am contemplating insanity right now, living in lala land as it seems to be the only way to cope. If I just let it slip away, there would be no stress, no worry, and no reality!!

I dont really need advice, there is nothing at this point I can do but grow a big ulcer, and just wait. I really needed to get it out, and when I try to talk to dh, he has this speil about his life is so full right get the drift. No support there at all. And that is fine, I feel bad for not being there for him. I know I should not be whining, life has been so good, I guess I am just really frustrated and upset. i am going to pop an ativan and relax. Play my 'addiction' for awhile.. Oh man, that reminds me I have counselling on Thur. :hair:

Thanks for listening to me ramble....
Hugs to all, I feel better all ready...
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Unread 04-19-2005, 10:55 PM
My thread to sanity is fraying


Now I know your post wasn't meant to be funny so I apologise for laughing, but you've got no idea how you've just cheered me up. Here I was feeling miserable and sore (I had a cystoscopy and hydrodistension of my bladder on Monday under anaesthetic and I'm really suffering at the moment), and whose post do I see but yours. There's something about you that does wonders for me!!

Many many s to you sweet Kat and I hope things improve soon. All the very best for your counselling session on Thursday by the way and please don't let her talk you out of giving up your 'obsession' completely!!! Life's too short!!
Unread 04-20-2005, 06:55 AM
My thread to sanity is fraying

Hi Kat,
Gosh, you're such a warm, giving person it doesn't seem right that you don't have someone there to listen to you.

Life does seem to give you these ups and downs, and I guess we have to try to ride them out as best we can.
I felt a little bit like you did this morning, and I just looked out my window and saw the beautiful sunrise. I know it sounds so corny, but sometimes it helps if you can just try to look for the beauty in the small things, and try to ride out the rest.

Big s for you, you deserve them. You are really loved there, so keep your chin up and know we'll help you through the rough times.

s, Anne
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Unread 04-20-2005, 10:26 AM
hi harly-kat.........

you were one of the first names i saw when i was lucky enough to arrive in hystersister land. reminds me of motorcycles - i like harleys - especially super glides....hope to have one by the time i'm 60. my dad just went on his first motorcycle ride across his state and he's 65 years old now......except he opted to not buy a harley, he bought a triumph instead. they are sleek looking too.

i apoligize in advanced, if i missed any prior posts to your concerns.

i'm pretty sure that you covered all your bases, but just wondering why you couldn't apply for a loan payment postponement using a loan deferment or forbearance practice?
and even if you are a half time student, you may be able to do this.
unemployment and economic hardship are a few reasons this process can be used for.

i see you are in canada and so what applies in the u.s may not apply elsewhere. at least if you called and wrote a letter of hardship to your schools loan originator, they would have alternative ways to help you alleviate possible additional burden...wouldn't they?

if for some reason you really do want to go to class this summer, why not use everyone here as a sounding board as to what classes you have available to you. though some may look wasteful, its amazing how a class can actually help shape your short term or long term career goal.
maybe the sisters could give ideas as to how you might use the summer session classes towards a job / career / personal development....related to your specific goals.
it would be so fun to help. if there is anything to take the edge off
how you are feeling right now, you could put us all to work!!!
anyway, i truly wish for you to have smooth sailing towards and into summer. maria
Unread 04-20-2005, 03:41 PM
My thread to sanity is fraying

WOW KAT!!!!!
Sounds Like Maria had alot of good ideas going on here. I can't help ya cuz... I HATE SCHOOL!!!!!!!!
SORRY ... that slipped out
Anyway, call these people back and get tuff with em. No, don't do that.. Go down there, or over there, where ever they are. Put your footsie down. Tap it... Show em what you are made of Kat. Tell em you that you --- no, we .... have been waiting all ****** year for this. You want to be a **** social worker and you want to be one NOW ****..... So, they need to line you up for WHATEVER it takes for whatever classes it takes stupid or not thru the summer or not, to get your foot in the door and bam... there you are... IN SCHOOL... to be a social worker. You hear me girl? Don't let them screwies mess up your hearts desires... they need to make room for KAT. Like I said, we have all been waiting all **** year...Now!!!! There you go. Problem solved. Love ya girl. Gotta go to second job and let the kids beat up on me and pull my hair out.
Love ya and take care.
Sunshine 48
Unread 04-20-2005, 03:43 PM
My thread to sanity is fraying


Sunshine 48
Unread 04-20-2005, 04:20 PM
My thread to sanity is fraying

Hi Ladies,
Thanks everyone, I feel a bit better today, didnt sleep well over this whole mess. I have made my calls, and it is now out of my hands. Hopefully someone will take pity on me and let me into one of the courses that have openings.

Lynne, so glad I made you laugh, and I am soooo sorry you are hurting. hope you feel better today.

Anne, somedays I wish I could get up early enough to see the sunrise. Others, not so much!! Like today, I got up, sat to watch TV and did the bobbin head thing for half hour...

Linda, you wanna come to Victoria and kick some tucus with me?? And what kids are pullin your hair out and torturing you? did you get a daycare job?? If you did, i will say a lil prayer for ya, know what they are like...

Maria, I KNOW what I want to take, but the courses are full. I even tried to get into the Political Science one, which I am sure I would be good at, considering I cant even remember the name of the Prime Minister.... And another one about heritage housing and scales to rate them???? I am on two wait lists, one for 'An Intro to Disability Studies' and 'Interdisciplinary Practice with Children and Families'. I really wanted 'Perspectives on Substance Abuse' and 'Approaches to substance Use, Prevention and Treatment' but need to do the first one as prereq. I did get into 'An Intro to Social Work Practice' and Intro to the Critical Analysis of Social Welfare in Canada'. When I go in Sept and have more of a variety, I will most certainly list my courses and you ladies can have a go at planning a semester for me....hehe

Anyways, I will keep you all posted on what happens. I just pray that one of the Head peeps calls me and tells me SURE you can go in this class. Then life is set...

Hugs to you all
Unread 04-20-2005, 06:29 PM
can't wait for you to start.....

exciting career goal!!! you will make an awesom social worker!

i am a human service worker / counselor. and i love everything about this world! i worked in rehab many years ago and then found a program / agency that served people laid off from their jobs, which of course meant 'all' people. the whole world of people facing bumps in the road and just love working on their behalf.

sunshine meantioned how long you've been waiting. truley hope that everything just falls into place for you.

sunshine, you are the best cheer leader w/ a kick butt attitude...i love it!!!

so true about having to get vocal sometimes....'ASSERTIVE'.....for information that you would think should have been provided / covered by school staff, in this case - financial aid officers - before hand.

its such a common into all the time when i am preparing a plan and funding for someone to start, continue or return back to school after they are laid off from their job. it has helped to use this "assertiveness' for family and friends over the years too.

i cannot wait for you to share your fall course outline!

thank you so much kat, for reminding me why i love my lifes work.
Unread 04-20-2005, 06:43 PM
My thread to sanity is fraying

Hi Maria,
when I was 16 I decided due to things that happened in my own life I wanted to be a social worker. Due to things beyond my control (Dad had the purse strings!!) I could not follow my dream, so I lost sight of, entered my unsteady life, and forged ahead. It was not all pretty, most of it pretty ugly. When I had my son back in 92, going back to school was a wonderful way to stay home, but like all things, I quit. Got done one year, and that was that. Took Psychology, then switched to Child and Youth Care counsellor. Then realized I was not cut out to do it, as my own life was in serious crisis. I struggled between jobs and was very unhappy except in the last two, workin in a photo lab is a load of fun!!

Anyhow, went to have my surgery, decided through out the recovery my life sucked, and that I needed to make some pretty big changes, went on meds for depression which actually worked, (Depression free for 4 mos and hangin in there!!), dealing with sexual abuse (12 yo) and getting my life in order. Lost my job 8 weeks after surgery, and my DH said "GO FOR IT!!" So here I am, a student back in university, planning on fulfilling a dream that I have held for so long, and having the resources now to be able to fully empathize and sympathize with patients. DH is in school for an Addiciton Careworker so we are set for life!!

Mentally, emotionally, and physically I am ready for it, although my brain still has its moments, I hope and pray that something happens here soon, so the waiting game is over. 22 years is a looonnnnggggg time to wait. I am glad tho that I did, as before this point, I would not have been good at all at SW and realize that somehow the mess my life was, will help out people, and give me insight into others lives.

I am excited to enter the field, and if you can give me any advice, info anything, please feel free to email or pm me!!
Unread 04-21-2005, 01:12 AM

hi kat,
you know is the people 'who walk the walk and talk the talk,' that ultimately make the best role models!!! everyone needs role models.....i couldn't get through the day w/ out mine.

for all that your life laid out for you to deal with, you obviously have an amazing inner strength and nerves of steel.

your plan looks really good and i am looking forward to visiting
with you.

i think the real concern you voiced is making sure you get the necessary classes for the summer session. hopefully, your school advisor is someone who can help clear a path for you, by keeping their eyes and ears open.

when do you get the word about your classes?

i will pm or e-mail you in next day or so. hopefully w/ some helpful ideas for your initial start.

i feel so lucky to have found you all. take care. maria

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