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Will 1 week make a difference? Will 1 week make a difference?

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Unread 04-26-2005, 06:00 PM
Will 1 week make a difference?

Just an update. My GYN called last Thursday and said he was sending me to a gyn/oncologist. Got a call Monday from the gyn/onc office for an appointment Tuesday at 9:30.

I saw my new gyn/oncologist today with my husband. I liked him a lot. I know this is dumb, but he looks like Alan Arkin who did a pretty good job on William Hurt in "The Doctor." He has a great bedside (or rather crotch side) manner.

My "pelvic mass" has to come out. He wants to do a TAH, but the surgery is called Exploratory Laporatomy on the sheet that they gave me. He's sending me for more tests. I thought I had them all but I need

* Colonoscopy day before surgery so I won't have to clean out my bowels 2 times.
* Mammogram
* Chest x-ray

He did a pretty good job of explaining everything, but I won't be getting the smiley face horizontal cut. He wants to do the vertical because this allows them to look around a little easier. He said that my type of ovarian cyst appears in only 30% of post-menopausal women. When pressed, he said of those, 70% are benign, and 30% are borderline/malignant.

He explained all of the stuff they will do in surgery including the lymph node check, etc, etc.

They gave me a date of May 19th. I asked if I could delay the surgery a week because (once again, I know this sounds dumb, and it probably is) my husband has plans to go out of town that week. They said sure, May 26th would be fine. My birthday is the 27th.

My question is?????

Do I delay this a week or have my husband cancel his trip? Am I going to be going nuts in the next couple of weeks and want this over? Does my husband deserve to go away (golf trip) because things could be pretty tough around here after the surgery (they’re already pretty tough around here now.) I’m fluctuating between panic and a partial acceptance state of being right now. Maybe now is not the time to think of him first.

Let me know your expert thoughts.

P.S. It thought my CA-125 was 37, but because my GYN has a thick accent and I could not could not understand him, it turns out it is 77. Not horrible, but more than I like.
The pelvic mass seems to have taken up residence in the entire area between both of my ovaries. They think it is stemming from the right, but they don’t know. As my husband, said today, “I haven’t heard anything encouraging yet.”

Sorry, the question is
May 19 or May 26?
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Unread 04-26-2005, 08:17 PM
Will 1 week make a difference?

Never mind. Too hyper.
Unread 04-26-2005, 08:38 PM
Will 1 week make a difference?

Thoughts and prayers are with you, hon. Whatever you decide to do will be the right thing for you.

For what it's worth, I think that if your doctors thought it would not be o.k. to delay surgery for one week, they would have told you so.

All that being said, though, in my opinion, it is the time to put yourself first.
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Unread 04-27-2005, 08:03 AM
Will 1 week make a difference?

But do you want to be alone the week before surgery?
Or might you be otherwise occupied?
Will your husband be able to enjoy himself as he anticipates the coming week?
Just some things to think about.

oxox karenann
Unread 04-27-2005, 09:31 AM
Will 1 week make a difference?


What was I thinking? Thank you so much for pointing this out. I'm not thinking straight. You are absolutely right. He'll feel guilty and worried. I'll be out of control while he's gone. I need to just get this over with.

Dawn (notalone)
Unread 04-27-2005, 11:20 AM
Will 1 week make a difference?


I'm not going to say that waiting is the worst part of this (there are many things worse than waiting), but it is high up there on the anxiety scale.

I remember being in your position and my gyn onc telling me to be careful driving and not to make any rash decisions or start any new projects for a while.

At the time, I thought he was sort of weird, but it was very good advice.

One thought on the colonoscopy - just remember that you will be an additional day without solid food. When my mom had her hyst for ovva, she had her colonoscopy very early in the morning and then her hyst a couple hours later.

Unread 04-27-2005, 06:28 PM
don't underestimate the agony of waiting

I am so sorry that you have to go through this. It is a life changing event and many of us have been there. When my doc called to give me the results of the uterine biopsy..she sounded so scared about doing it over the phone, I felt terrible for her. After we talked and she said she'd have me scheduled by morning and the office would call to let me know which day.. I asked if we couldn't delay until summer!!! (it was february) I figured that I could recover nicely around the pool or something. She said no. I did talk her into giving me 6 weeks. Bad idea. The waiting is bad, the longer you go, the more crazed you become. Your husband needs to keep you under control and provide support. Let him do the driving.. You will be so happy when it's over, no matter what the outcome. I will keep you in my thoughts.
Unread 04-27-2005, 09:18 PM
Will 1 week make a difference?

Thanks Josie and everyone else who responded.

My husand gladly cancelled his trip and I'm scheduled for May 19. I have been very panicky, but I know that getting this over with is the right thing to do. I actually was trying to convince myself that I had the option of not having the surgery. Can anyone like the idea of having no control over what happens to you in surgery? I barely know this gyn/onc, but I'm trusing him with my future.

This has been a rough year. My younger brother (40), my only sibling, died late January in his apartment from cardiac arrhythmia. He was dead five days before anyone noticed. I was very close to him and I have felt mad at God ever since. My 14 year old son was diagnosed as Bipolar last October and needs more attention and patience than I can give him right now. My husband's 90 year old mother is living with us and we take her to dialysis 3 times a week because she's in renal failure.

I look back just one year and I see a different life.

I've found it very comforting to find a group (and a rather large one at that) of women who have survived their cancers and still find the time and energy to council and encourage others. Hystersisters is a living diary. I've never experianced anything like it. In some way it makes me want to be stronger than I am. Like all of you.

Unread 04-27-2005, 09:25 PM
Will 1 week make a difference?

Maybe I'm playing devil's advocate, but if your DH has his trip booked, it might be good to let him go and get himself prepared for being at your beck and call for the next few weeks.

Surgery, and possible subsequent diagnoses are life altering ordeals, and the opportunity for vacations might be put on hold for quite a while. Unless he is a saint, he is bound to resent not being able to go, at some point.

Only my 2 cents worth, but I sure am glad we went on vacation just before all this craziness started.

You and your dr need to decide, but it is probably easier to be alone the week before surgery, than to put up with a grumpy husband after
Unread 04-27-2005, 09:30 PM
Will 1 week make a difference?

Oops, too late in replying.

Best of luck with your surgery. Try to relax between now and then. Sounds like you have a handful in your life, and you deserve to have some calm, and concentrate on you.

Blessings to you.

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