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So Close, Yet so far away! So Close, Yet so far away!

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Unread 05-04-2005, 01:35 PM
So Close, Yet so far away!


I am going absolutely crazy. My TAH, BSO is scheduled for June 9th and my pre op is May 17th. Somedays it seems like it is coming very fast and other days it seems like eternity til then. I don't know what to do with myself. I had planned on starting my deep house cleaning, but then I thnk why do it so early? I try to keep busy, I work 4 days out of the week, but the days I don't work the days are soooooo long. Any suggestions on how to make the time go by faster? Any suggestions on how to get some sleep at night? I have tried sominex, but no help. It made me sleep but woke up often and did not feel rested. I don't want to call and ask the dr for anything, sounds dumb. I am an emotional reck! Last night I was watching the news and something came on about breast cancer and I just cried and cried. My husband just laughed. He did not see what I had watched. He is great but when it comes to stupid stuff that I get emotional about he doesn't understand. It is frustrating to have this pain that I can't take care of. I am usually in control of things like this, I can usually take care of everybody else. I am used to my dh and child coming first. I feel so helpless when I can't even make dinner for them. My daughter is wonderful, she is 9 and she thinks that she has to take care of mom. I have gone through multiple abdominal surgeries before so she knows what to expect. It is great that she understands and wants to help, but that is what I am supposed to do for her. Then she goes overboard sometimes and I just want to yell stop it I'm not helpless!!! But I don't, I know that it would hurt her feelings. My husband and I discussed driving last night. He said he would take my keys away from me because he knows how I am. How long will I be w/out driving? On previous surgeries I always over did it and regretted it. I look at it this way I will do what I have to do to get my daughter to practices this summer. I will also have my two stepsons here after the surgery. I will need to take them places. For God sakes I'm MOM that is my job. I just hade to disappoint everyone. Especially myself. I don't want to have to depend on other to take to me to the toilet or do little things for me. WAWAWA I know, You would think I would have learned a lesson with previous surgeries, but I haven't. None of them were ever this BIG!! It's everything this time. Please help! how do I make time gp by faster???? I need to do something to make this time go by faster.

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Unread 05-04-2005, 02:12 PM
So Close, Yet so far away!

On the days that you don't work, pick one nice thing and do it for yourself each day. Soak in a bubble bath, get a pedicure, wear your best night gown to bed, watch all your chick flicks in a row... you get the idea. If you have any comedies you're anxious to see, now is a good time because right after your op you won't want to be laughing big - tummy will be too sore for a couple weeks.

Make some lists of the things you need to pack, the things you need to do before you go to the hospital, anything that you need to buy between now and the day.

Think about who the other moms at your kids' activities are and arrange for some carpooling while you recuperate so you WON'T be driving too soon.

Part of the nervousness you're feeling is fear. It's okay to be afraid. Be more worried if you weren't afraid at least a little.

I was pretty much the be all do all dynamo in my house before surgery, too. It was hard for me to admit that my DH and DD were capable of doing things without me in the middle of whatever needed done. But, you know what? I bit the bullet and let them take care of me for a few weeks. What happened? Well, the world didn't end, I can assure you of that. And they didn't decide they didn't need me (a big fear for me!). What they decided was that I had previously worked too hard and now they pitch in with a fair share of the load. They also say "Thank You" more often, which is wonderful. And they see me as human instead of some machine that can't be hurt, which is a very good thing.

You're going to get through this. And you've read it a hundred times here, I'm sure..."Waiting Is The Worst Part!"
Unread 05-04-2005, 02:26 PM
Lord tell me about it. my date with fate is looming too!!!!

Hi sister, I totally share your anxiety and unnderstand where you are coming from. I am scheduled for a tah on 05/10/05 at 12:30 pm and i am about to lose my mind!!!! Aside from dealing with the fact that this is my first surgery of any kind I find myself also coming to terms with the fact that at age 34 i will not ever be able to have any kids of my own (physically).I am the size of a woman in her 8th month of pregnancy due to the fibroid that has now become known as THE MONSTER (thanks to blondenbama)... I don't know.. i mean here i am trying to offer you support and i am just losing it myself. Just know that my prayers and understanding is with you. please read my other posts in the aching heart section.
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Unread 05-04-2005, 03:59 PM
So Close, Yet so far away!

I agree with Sanguiness. Do something nice for yourself each day you are home. If finances won't allow you to purchase or rent videos, check out the local library. Many times they will have good movies there. (Sorry for the plug. I'm a library director!)

I have just reached the six month post-op point and I can say my life is soooooo much better now! Waiting is indeed the hardest. While I was waiting, I took up a hobby I had given up years ago (crochet) and find I now enjoy it quite a bit. Could you do something like this?

Best wishes for a fast, uneventful recovery--

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