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Unread 05-15-2005, 06:54 PM
Losing it!

I am 40 yrs old now and I had a TAH Feb16/04 started with hot flashes right away. Two years before this had breast tissue taken out since I carry the breast cancer gene BRCA2. My sex drive came to a halt after that. I've been married 4yrs and am now separated since Jan and will be legally divorced in September. I also have a 3yr beautiful son who spends every weekend with his father. On top of this my son and I had to move into a two bedroom apartment. The house was my husbands before we were married, he bought from his parents. We just settled ,he gave me some money and will eventually put down to buy a house soon. Feeling like I am losing it because of everything I went thru these past few years. Last Saturday I thought about killing my self. I actually put a garbage bag over my head , and did this in front of my son, but I didn't and started praying and reading the bible. My son sometimes is hard to handle. He is in the terrible three's and I felt like I was going to have a nervouse breakdown. Funny, he does not act like this with his father. If I correct him he comes up to me and hits me and scratches me. That's when I saw this website and learned thoughts of suicide may be a symptom from menopause. Is it my fault though I am getting a divorce because of no sex drive? I was told by the breast surgeon not to ever take HRT, but I feel I need something... Any advice would be greatly appreciated.
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Unread 05-15-2005, 08:04 PM
Losing it!


I am sorry you are having all of this going on. You have been through a lot , it is no wonder you feel down. If you are still feeling suicidal please see dr or get help immediately. The dr can give you something for the depression and ask your dr if it is okay to take just a little dab of testosterone. Some dr let patients who have cancer history or gene to take it for libido.

If you do a Search at the top of the page and put in libido it will pull up lots of threads on libido and what others have to say.

Also some of the over the counter herbs like black cohosh, chaste berry and others may help, but ask your dr if it is okay first.

You are welcome to post in the Aching Hearts form when you are down and just want to vent. It helps sometimes just to talk it out over there. There are a lot of us who understand and support those who are having a hard time.

We also have the Sexual Dysfunction forum that may help with some of what you are dealing with.

Well, I hope things get better and you can find some answers . There is no need to suffer it out. You probably will feel better once you get the moods smoothed out.

None of what has happened to you is your fault. Things just happen to us and things change. We just have to do the best we can. Hopefully it will get better for you and life will look a little brighter once you feel better and adjusted to the changes in your life.

Sending s your way.
Unread 05-17-2005, 12:26 AM
Losing it!

I am so sorry to hear about what all you are going through....it can't be easy.

I, too, have risk of breast cancer. In fact, just today, I had my blood drawn for the BRCA gene. I'll find out in a few weeks the resuts. I was told by my Oncologist that if I do have it, and I get a prophalactic mastectomy, I can take estrogen, b/c I will have all but eliminated my risk of breast cancer. Is that what you had done when you say you had breast tissue removed? Did you have your breasts completly removed? If so, I would ask if you could take a low dose.

Also, as much as my docs don't want to give me estrogen, they have all said I'd need do weigh the qualitiy of life vs. cancer risk. Meaning, if things got so bad that I felt my life was falling apart, it would be worth it to take a little estrogen. Based on that, I'd ask my doc if I were you.

Please don't do anything rash to yourself. I, too, have a 3 year old....and a 1 year old. Trust me, I know how they test our patience! But as a parent, as a mother, you owe it to HIM to get yourself back together. Call your doctor in the morning and tell them it is a crisis and you need to get in TODAY!

Good luck.....my prayers are with you and your precious son.
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Unread 05-22-2005, 05:19 AM
Losing it!

You are not alone..Ive had those thoughts as you did more than once over this decade since my hysto It brought many changes to a 27 year old until now (recent)I prefere not to go into details.
You deserve a better quality of life.
Unread 05-29-2005, 10:45 AM
Losing it

I don't have much experience with the "no hormone" issue...I just had to go off mine last week. I am looking now at the site for what to expect.

Your post caught my attention becasue of what you said about your son being hard to control. I am not giving parental advice, but I wanted to share a thought with you. My son and I have always been very connected. It took me a while to figure this out (unfortunately), but he tends to reacts strongly to what ever mood I am in. He is like a little mirror. I finally caught on when he was about 5 (he is 13 now and still the same). I just try to calm myself when he is "over active, reactive" and it seems to help.

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Unread 05-31-2005, 11:11 PM
Losing it!

I'm so sorry you're going through this. As someone who is currently being treated for depression, my opinion is that it doesn't matter what causes it. If you're depressed enough that its negatively impacting your life (and thoughts of suicide are serious) then you should seek help. There's nothing wrong with talking with someone, and taking anti-depressants, to get you through it.

I had a very rough time around, and after, my surgery. Major breakup, layoff, and much more. I talked with my doctor and started taking anti-depressants. This was something I never thought I'd do. It helped tremendously! I had/have the energy to face my problems, and to work them through.

You've already taken a huge step, by coming here and talking about your problems. I applaud your courage, and hope you'll continue to talk and research and seek help in any way you can.

Hugs and good luck, both to you and your son. I hope you find the answers that you need so that you can live the good life you deserve!

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