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Anyone have fear of death and need to get things in order? Anyone have fear of death and need to get things in order?

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Unread 05-17-2005, 11:33 AM
Anyone have fear of death and need to get things in order?

Okay I know I am over reacting....but I have these need to get things in order in case something happens. I homeschool my children and have got everything in order for the next school year. I know that is crazy but I am worried. I have never been in the hospital other than the birth of my 3 children all c-sections. I am just afraid of not waking up. Anyone else have these fears? I am also an emotional wreak, tears are right there all throughout the day,is this normal also?
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Unread 05-17-2005, 11:45 AM
Anyone have fear of death and need to get things in order?

I think you are feeling pretty normal, Ive had the same feelings. One minute Im fine the next im in tears and worrying about all kinds of things. I try to just take a few min to catch my breath and i read this site and I feel better.
Ive tried to plan everything out and let people know my wishes in case anything does happen. I know that most likely nothing bad will happen but it makes me feel better to plan things, at least it keeps me busy.
Good luck!!
Unread 05-17-2005, 11:47 AM

Yes!!! I have the same fear.
I don't have kids but keep telling my husband how I want my five furry babies cared for, if something should happen!! He keeps telling me not to say such ridiculous things, but I have always been the "worst case scenario" type of worrier.....
I try to minimize these types of thoughts, but sometimes they just pop into my head despite my efforts to think of the positive!
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Unread 05-17-2005, 11:48 AM
Anyone have fear of death and need to get things in order?

I hear ya! I have decided Jesus has this. I do cry off and on all day. I go in tomorrow. I feel better after I cry - so I am thinking it is a good thing. My preop nurse told me yesterday that we should be scared. My GYN told me that if I was not scared he would be. That was my fear - not waking up. Now, I think I am more scared that these horrible mood swings I have been having are going to be worse. So, I have to give that all back to Jesus. My children are wonderful and I am coming home to them, hoepfully more normal than I left. I also did the same thing when I flew! Living wills, funeral planning, children plans - all laid out. My nurse told me yesterday that on Thursday I am going to be wondering what all of the misery worrying was about. I am going to go with that.

May you find peace and grace to make it!
Unread 05-17-2005, 11:51 AM
Anyone have fear of death and need to get things in order?

Hi, Mo!

I think we all have those fears at some point. When mine start to get the best of me I try to remember to tell that little panic voice to shut up and mind it's own business. I can't say for sure, but I'll bet the odds are better that you'd get in a car accident than die in the OR, but you still drove to the store right? It is SO hard sometimes to keep our fears in a realistic place in our minds.

Also, I can tell you the LAST thing they want is for you to die in the OR, or afterwards either for that matter! If they think there's even a chance you aren't waking up after surgery, they aren't taking you in. Period.

Wow - I can't believe you have the whole school year set up fro next year already - you need to teach me some organizational skills! I can barely manage to get over everyone's spelling words and math facts at night - let alone if I had to teach it too!

And you are NOT crazy. You are just trying to be responsible - there's a difference. Try not to let this fear overtake your mind. It's something beyond your control, let it go. And those tears you mentioned? Go find a nice quiet spot and let 'em rip! Just get it all out and you'll feel better the next day.

Unread 05-17-2005, 12:19 PM
Anyone have fear of death and need to get things in order?

You absolutely are not alone in your feelings.

Before my surgery, I made sure the life insurance policies were easy to find, went to an attorney and updated my will, and wrote letters to each of my children "just in case". Thankfully, none of those preparations were ultimately needed.

This is a big deal. It's not a pedicure, it's major surgery. For most of us who are generally healthy, going into the hospital overnight at all is a stressful idea. Each of us in our own way has to confront the "what ifs" before we do this. You go right ahead and do the things that give you comfort in this time...whether that be paper work preparation or prayer or putting casseroles in the freezer or matching up your children's clothing for the coming week or all of the above.

And just like JoRaeMi said, the odds are worse for the drive across town than the time in the OR. Take a look at how many post-op princesses are on this website. Thousands of women every day come home to recover, and not all of them are on this site.

So, go ahead and cry. That's a great way to vent the things that are troubling you that you may not be able to put into words, or that putting into words doesn't help the fears go away. Put a chick flick in the VCR, grab a box of tissues and your favorite beverage and have at it. When you're done, go have a nice long soak in the tub with cucumber slices over your eyes to get rid of the puffiness. Honest, you'll feel tons better!

Unread 05-17-2005, 12:51 PM
Anyone have fear of death and need to get things in order?

You are definitely NOT alone. I had those same fears. I did a living will, updated our will, wrote letters to my children and husband...then put it in Gods hands.
Needless to say, I lived and all the worry was useless. But atleast the living will/will/funeral preferences, etc. is all done now!!!! All the way down to the music I want at my funeral!!! Morbid huh????
Unread 05-17-2005, 01:13 PM
Anyone have fear of death and need to get things in order?

A document called "Advance Directives" can also be filed with your hospital. It gives instructions on whether or not you want to be resuscitated, etc., in case of an emergency decision needing to be made.

I also made sure that my organ donor section on the back of my driver's license was witnessed, and had a quiet talk with my DH about my wishes in that area.

Morbid or not, it can still make you feel better at the time to know that you've prepared everything you can.
Unread 05-17-2005, 06:44 PM
Anyone have fear of death and need to get things in order?

YES!! You are normal. I thought about death a lot until about 2 weeks prior to my surgery. Then I had a sort of peace about it and knew that I was doing the right thing for me. After that I just wanted to clean and organize and get ready for the recovery. I am 2 weeks into the recovery and I feel GREAT!! I had my uterus and a huge fibroid removed...have a vertical scar. I am in no pain, have lots of energy, and I am mentally wonderful (which was not the case before the surgery). So just work thru your thoughts and remember that hysterectomies are common and usually uneventful surgeries.

Good luck!!

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