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Sex offenders in MY area! Sex offenders in MY area!

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  #1  
Unread 05-25-2005, 07:03 PM
Sex offenders in MY area!

Ladies I just got on a website and learned that I have 7 registered sex offenders in my area. 3 are with in one block of my house! Yes I am freaking out. I also looked up my mom's address and she has one only a block away! Plus my best friend from 5th grade her dad molested her and he is out and living back in my home town . The web site is your state then sex offenders.com I live in Iowa so for me it is Iowasexoffenders.com You can search by name or just a zip code. I used the zip code and had great results. I am really worried now. I feel like I can no longer let the girls play outside without me right there next to them. Any suggestions. I told my older daughter last night all about what I was reading. I want to have her know, but not terrify her. She is old enough to understand. But my worry is my youngest daughter. She has no fear. She knows what a stranger is. But she is also trusting. I am just freaking out.
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  #2  
Unread 05-26-2005, 12:41 AM
Sex offenders in MY area!

Hi, Penguin,

Actually, that is Iowa's registry site, but it doesn't work like that for every state. It is easy to find many registry sites though just by typing 'sex offender registry' into your search engine.

I understand how you feel,,... I checked another site recently and found I have around 180 in my local area,... 40 of them in MY zipcode alone! About 3-4 of them are within a few blocks of my general neighborhood. My area is highest in the state... just makes me ill.

I know it's unnerving, but the thing is,.. it's good to know,.. at least THOSE people we can be aware of, prepared for, and have our guard up rather than go on letting ourselves believe that our little piece of the world is crime-free, when deep down, we know unfortunately it's not.

I come from a childhood where the sex crimes and other abuse came from the people you should've been able to trust the most.... What I learned from that is that you can't trust anybody 100%. What you can do is do your best not to leave an open door to opportunity, as well as keep your children well educated (age-appropriately, of course) for the rest of the times... we can't protect them ALL the time. Believe me, I wish we could, and mine are with me most of the time... I homeschool, too.

Just be aware, and keep your kids educated,.. boys & girls. Talk to them about these things. My kids know that it's NOT just strangers that can do bad stuff, and that most times it is someone you know... someone you love. They also know what kind of behavior is okay, and what is not appropriate. They know they can talk to me about ANYthing, and that no matter what I will always love them. They know that people say things,.. lies,.. to get you to keep their secret, so you won't tell, but they know that if that were to EVER happen, that no matter what it is absolutely not true and to tell me right away. I have even gone as far as to tell them (without extreme details), but that my own dad did all those things to me... so even if someone they really love, like dad, or grandpa, or uncle so & so,... it's NEVER okay, and they can ALWAYS come to me, and that they MUST.

We have a very (age-appropriate) open & honest relationship with our kids,... I keep them educated, and that alone is an excellent step in keeping them safe.

Good luck, and I know this has got you freaking out,.... try to take a deep breath, and then sit down and have a good talk with BOTH of your kids. It really can be done at any age, and as I said, I just sort of RE- have the talk once or twice a year, and they learn bits more as they get older, but it also helps us all stay on our toes about safety,... kind of like having fire drills.
  #3  
Unread 05-26-2005, 09:48 AM
Sex offenders in MY area!

I'm sure you have every reason to be afraid, but before you panic too much, one thing you may want to be aware of is that some ---just some--of the sex offenders may not be hard core perverts. In some states, like WI, if a young boy has sex with or wrongfully touches a girl under eighteen it's a sex crime.

We ran into that when my son was 14 and curious about sex. He and a girl at school viewed themselves to be "in love" and made the mistake of touching in a public location. (I'm not condoning it...just understanding human nature...I was once 14.) When it came to the attention of the principal and the guidance counselor, the police were called. My son was nearly crucified. Somehow it doesn't matter if the boy is a juvenile too, he's expected to behave with the restraint of a saint. The girl walks free. It doesn't matter if she has questionable or no morals, she's protected. (Okay, I'm a touch bitter. Sorry. )

He was put on probation, forced to attend counseling we could not afford and warned that he could become a registered sex offender and that whereever he moved, people would be notified that a sex offender resides in the neighborhood. Fortunately we avoided the uglier consequences, but I still live in sickest fear that he'll be attracted to a girl under 18 and be ruined for life.
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  #4  
Unread 05-26-2005, 11:32 AM
Sex offenders in MY area!

On the website for the state of Indiana - it actually tells you what their crimes are. You look the people up by county, and then it lists them by name. When you click on their names, it brings their entire profile up - including a photo, identifying marks (ie tatoos), aliases, place of employment, address........the whole nine yards. And then it also tells WHY they are registered...if it is because they are Child Molestors, Rapists, etc. And there are some that are "normal" looking "kids" that are in there and are listed for Sexual Misconduct with a Minor. Which I think is what Snowowl is talking about.

It is VERY VERY VERY disturbing. I agree 100%. And I watch this list fairly close. (But my brother is also a police officer, and would let me know if he knew of anything I should worry about in my area.) So I agree that the problem stems from the ones that we don't suspect.........the ones that haven't been identified!!!
  #5  
Unread 05-26-2005, 12:50 PM
offenders

I actually have a couple of cousins that are on the list for Iowa. I don't let my girls around them. One is in prison for holding his girlfriend at knife point and attempted rape. The other one is for rape or something along that line. I know that I can find out about the charges and that kind of thing. But it still doesn't make me feel any better about letting the girls outside to play when I am not there with them. I thought that as long as I lived in a small town that we would be good. Boy that was wrong.
  #6  
Unread 05-26-2005, 01:08 PM
Sex offenders in MY area!

Pengquin,
Nope, living in a small town does not help. That is all that is up here by me and there are probably a dozen or so in my county, mostly in the smaller towns.

At least you know of these people's potential of being a problem. It is those we don't know about.

Keep talking to your girls about what is appropriate and not appropriate behavior around "strangers." Kids don't always view neighbors as strangers. Also, keep talking about what is right and wrong regarding others and their bodies. Don't want to scare them at the same time.

I can understand your nervousness with the high profile case in the state recently.

Keep those lines of communication open with your kids and keep reminding them that if something happens that is not right or something is bothering them, you are there for them.

Take Care
s
Jane B
  #7  
Unread 05-26-2005, 02:13 PM
Sex offenders in MY area!

I know exactly how you feel. I check our state's site all the time. One problem is however is that they can't keep up with these "people" and sometimes they move without reregistering. I don't let my DD (11) leave the back yard without me (high privacy fence) ever and my DS (14) can only play in the cul-de-sac which totals 6 houses and we all know each other and look out for each other's kids. It is definately not like when I was growing up and when I was DD's age, I was roaming the neighborhood....the world has gone to hell in a handbasket for sure! And yet, one of my neighbors lets her 8yr DD walk 2 blocks to and from the bus stop by herself which can not be seen by her house...it is insane! What are these people thinking? We even had a note sent home last year about 2 young girls that were approached at a bus stop (8,9) two subdivisions down from us and guess what?...they still go alone! The only reason they were not kidnapped was that the bus came and the guy sped off and they finally caught him 2 days later, so I guess those moms think he was the only fruitcake out there. ARG! Some might call it being overprotective, but I call it just plain safety. Luckily my best friend and I feel the same way about things like this. I lost a friend because she was so loose with her children and I couldn't hold my tongue any more.
  #8  
Unread 05-26-2005, 02:48 PM
same street

Hello . My dh works in a federal prison and sent me the address for sex offenders in our state about two months ago. Trust me when I say I was shocked to find one on the same 'back road' as me. It showed his picture and his crimes. I know my boys are only 5 and 3 but I let them see the picture and just kept telling them that he was a very, very bad man and the precations to take if they were ever to see him. He has three charges, one for a little girl , one little boy and then a grown woman. This isa very scary thing and makes you feel like not even your own front yard is safe.
  #9  
Unread 05-27-2005, 11:26 AM
Sex offenders in MY area!

I am a survivor of sexual abuse, from one of those treasured family members (who now resides in a supermax prison in Oklahoma). And, I'm sorry to say, I trust NO ONE with my DD's. I am not anal about it, but I am very, very cautious. I also have worked for a family attorney, and the sexual abuse cases for minor children are staggering. My DD's, ages 5 and 7, know about stranger danger, and yes, they have a HEALTHY fear! They don't dwell on it, but they know I mean business when I make them stay with me in a store or where I can see them in our backyard. My beautiful 7 year old DD had a friend approach her with sexual abuse earlier this year, and they have been together since kindergarten! It happens, and I will make no apologies for making my children understand. My child's friend has had her innocence stolen, and there is no giving that back. I want my babies to be little girls as long as possible, and healthy fear is completely different than the bone deep terror you feel when it is happening to you. I am not feeling sorry for myself, because who I am was molded by EVERY event in my life. But, would I give my life to avoid it happening to one of my babies?

In a heartbeat, sisters.

Be diligent, be safe, and be happy!
Vanessa
  #10  
Unread 05-27-2005, 01:22 PM
AMEN, sista!!

Vanessa,

You said it better than I did,.... sounds like you & I could be cut from the same cloth.

You know, after a private conversation with a new friend here yesterday,.. I was inspired to write again,.. I haven't in awhile. But, this, I've needed to do for a long, long time, and it REALLY felt good. I'm going to post it in the poetry forum if anyone wants to see,.. but I will forewarn,... it's dark, and very emotional, and deals with a piece of my own abuse. I'm sure there are others that will be able to relate.

Anyway, I agree with you 100%. Women like you & I have a whole other kind of 'vision' about this stuff... because we've been there. This kind of stuff is what causes old wisdom in young souls. God bless you, V.

Passing on a from a fellow survivor... me
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