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Unread 06-08-2005, 02:06 PM
My Husband..

just started a new job 3 weeks ago. Should I be mad that he isn't going to be with me at the hospital while I'm having mother and son are? Should I be mad that he may not be able to pick me son will. He will be spending the nights with me at the hospital but because of a new job he will not be able to take off the day of my surgery or leave early on the day I'm discharged. But he will be staying with me at the hospital the entire time I'm there. I'm not upset about it but was wondering..............should I be and how would you feel? I know that he had plan on taking the entire week off but started a new job before I had the surgery.
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Unread 06-08-2005, 02:14 PM
My Husband..

I wouldn't be upset if he wasn't there. Infact I am wondering if my husband will be there myself. He is disabled and can't drive. At this moment in time I have no one to drive him home after my surgery and when he is ready to leave. I also don't have anyone to drive me home when I am discharged. So I will probably be driving myself to and from alone.

Before any of you sisters ask; My mother just had knee replacement surgery and is yet not able to drive, my father has osteoporosis so severe 11 vertebrae are collapsed and he is now in a power wheelchair, my daughter who has a drivers license is too self centered to care if I get to the hospital or not, and none of my other daughters have a license. So I am stuck with driving myself, only good thing is the hospital is only 10 minutes away.

The same problem comes to my husband getting to the hospital to visit me. I figure if he does make it great and if not owell, I will be home in a few days and he can see me then. It just seems to be something out of my control and I am not worrying myself about it.

Unread 06-08-2005, 02:22 PM
My Husband..

It sounds like your dh will be doing all he can do. I would be so thankful for the job(too many people don't have one). And he may be feeling guilty anyway about not being there during surgery. I imagine the day you're in surgery and he will be at work will be hard on him, wondering how things are going, waiting on a phone call.........At least he'll be at work and not LOL!!
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Unread 06-08-2005, 03:28 PM
My Husband..

If it does not upset you, you should not even be asking anyone else what they think Each of us have our own reasons for doing what has to be and as long as you can understand and accept that all is okay. It is nice to have all of the support found here and know that all of your "sisters" will be thinking of you before, during, & after your big day!
Unread 06-08-2005, 03:56 PM
My Husband..

Simply stated, "No." I would feel so grateful that he was working and spending as much time as he possibly could at the hospital.

All the best!
Unread 06-09-2005, 09:32 PM
My Husband..

I agree with everyone else, don't worry about how you should feel. He's probably a wonderful guy, and will be with you in spirit even tho he can't be in person. My husband is self-employed and is doing what he can to free himself up as much as possible. He had to make a business trip the second day I was in the hospital. I say be thankful for your mother and son, and rest assured your husband is doing the best he can with his circumstances.
Unread 06-09-2005, 11:02 PM
My Husband..

How would I feel with a husband like that? Very, very lucky, that's how!!

I've read some posts on here about husbands/boyfriends and their reactions to the surgery which cause me to believe that you have a real gem there.

Best of luck to you and I'm glad you will have your mother and son with you too.
Unread 06-10-2005, 07:08 AM
My Husband..

I agree with the ladies on this one!!!
My dh did take the week off...due to the family medical leave act!!!
maybe your dh can check in to is a law....
if a immediate family member is in the hospital they can take a certain amount of time off and not get in to trouble at all!!!!

Just a thought!!!! might be worth checking out!!!

It is great that he is working....and maybe if he lets his job know they could work with him on it!!! you never know till you try!!!

Good luck!!!! I hope it all works out!!!

Unread 06-10-2005, 07:25 AM
My Husband..

Hi, I had my TAH 2 weeks ago. My Surgury got moved up quickly, was supposed to be late July, and we only had a 2 week notice. Im a hairdresser, and knowing that I would be out of work for 6 weeks or so "without pay", I arranged for my father to bring me to the hospital the day of my surgury, so that my husband wouldn't lose any time. My husband agreed, and when my surgury was done my Dr. called my husband at work, to let him know how it all went, and when Id be out of recovery. He was there when I woke up, but went home to be with my 2 kids " from previous marraige" ages 14 and 16....for the nights. I feel that, my husband was there fore me, even when he wasn't physically with me, and he did such a wonderful job of taking care of both me and the kids. I slept most of the time in the hospital anyways, and his short little visits after work, were the hightlight of my days. We are both early birds, so I even called him one morning at 3:30 am, knowing that he'd be sipping his morning coffee all alone. As long as your husband, is concerned and there for you as much as he can be, I can't see being mad at him.
I hope this gives you a little peace of mind. Cathy
Unread 06-10-2005, 12:43 PM
My Husband..

Hi there, My hubby can be a pain recently but thanks to some helpful suggestions on this board, it has gotten much better. I actually told him to go to work. We are self employed so if we don't work, there is no paycheck. Also, his father passed away when he was 7 and he does not handle hospitals very well. He will come and be with me off and on quite a bit, but the waiting would be hard for him to handle and I think I would be more comfortable knowing he wasn't sitting there stressing in a waiting room somewhere. He will be by a phone the whole time and my mom will be at the hospital. (She loves to wait and couldn't stay home if I paid her a million bucks)


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