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Placenta Previa Resulting in Hysterectomy Placenta Previa Resulting in Hysterectomy

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  #1  
Unread 06-28-2005, 12:47 PM
Placenta Previa Resulting in Hysterectomy

I am new to this site. I had an unplanned hysterectomy on 9/29/04 and I have been looking for some type of support group to help the tremendous sadness that I have felt since I lost my uterus. I am so glad that I came upon this site because I really felt like I was the only person out there that had something like this happen to me. I was uanable to get any type of emotional support and no one seemed able to understand me. I was told that I should be thankful that I am alive. I am but there is more to it.

I guess I should start with my story. At my 20 week sonogram during my 3rd pregnancy, I was told that I had a complete placenta previa. I was put on bedrest during the later stages of my pregnancy. This condition really stressed me out. I did a lot of reading and research to try and find out what I could. I read in 1 book that a hysterectomy is a rare possibility. I asked my ob/gyn about it and she said that I had less than a 1% chance of having this happen to me. Everyone thought I was crazy for even mentioning it.

At 36 weeks I had a amnio to determine if the baby's lungs were mature. The next day I went into the hospital for the planned c-section. I remember before I went in that I was crying. One of the nurses asked why and I said I am worried something bad is going to happen. She told me that this c-section would be much better then my last (1st baby--vaginal delivery, 2nd baby c-section b/c of cord around baby's neck). My son came out perfectly and did not have any issues whatsoever. A little later, I was told that things were fine and then that changed. They could not get my uterus to stop bleeding. I started to lose a lot of blood (over 50%) so I received a transfusion. I was then told they had to take out my uterus. I started to feel horrible due to the loss of blood and things became very stressful in the room. It was very disturbing hearing people say that "they were losing me" and seeing all the plastic bins filled with bloddy rags of my blood. I could not believe it was happening. My poor husband broke down and had to leave the room.

I went into recovery and had to stay there about an hour longer because of my low body temperature due to blodd loss. I then went up to my room and was able to be with my new son. I developed pneumonia and a few other problems but was just so thrilled to have my healthy baby boy. When I left the hospital, that was when all the understanding and support stopped. My mother-in-law was supposed to stay w/us for 2 weeks to help but she left after 2 days saying I was fine. I had to jump right back into things w/a 4 and 2 yr. old and my newborn. I did not have any major depression but I did have a big crying episode for many weeks to come.

Had I not had this condition and lost my uterus, I would have wanted to have another child. I truly became happy and fulfilled when I became a mother. I loved being pregnant, labor, etc. I feel very sad about not having a uterus and being able to have another child. I even feel a tinge of jealousy when I see someone pregnant. I am thankful for the healthy children that I have but I am still sad.

Not a day goes by when I think--this is the last time I will ever experience this as my baby reaches his milestones. I also hate hearing from EVERYONE that this time in my life is the best it is ever going to be . . . it goes by fast so enjoy it...." I also get on a daily basis, and I mean it----EVERYDAY----, from strangers when I am out and about w/my boys--"You have to have another and try for a girl. . . you need a girl...she would be so beautiful. . . or. . .you have to have a girl b/c boys grow apart from their moms". I know these people are well-intentioned but it is a constant reminder of what happened and my loss. It makes it worse when I am told that I have not right to be sad, etc.

I am hoping to find some friends who can relate. I think hearing similar stories will help. I never really did but now I never do discuss this with anyone. I just keep it to myself and hope that I will understand one day. I have even had more negative thoughts like God did this to me b/c something even more traumatic is going to happen to me and God did not want me to have any more children b/c I will not be around to care for them. It is just a very sad and unexplainable thing that I feel.

Thank you for listening:

Caroline Claire
(this would have been the name of my baby girl if I ever would have had one)
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  #2  
Unread 06-28-2005, 01:43 PM
Placenta Previa Resulting in Hysterectomy

I really feel for you and send you a hug.
I have two girls but also miscarried twice - they were "my boys" and have names in my heart and in heaven and I will never have any more children.
I don't know why it happened and for a long time grieved over the unfairness of it all. The phrase that got me through it and still keeps me hanging on is "God, in his infinite wisdom,......" I feel that we are too human to be able to understand His plan and it will only hurt our heads to try! So, if you try to accept it, it gets easier to bear. He wouldn't keep you around just to make something calamitous happen, it could be just as simple as letting you value your time with your beautiful boys and be proud to say "I/We don't need a girl to make our family complete - we are great as we are."

Clare (great name!)
  #3  
Unread 06-28-2005, 02:05 PM
Thank you

Hi "big chick":
I thank you very much for your message. It made me cry so I had to close my office door but it made me feel better. It is nice to know that you understand. I liked your reply so much that I wrote it down and will carry it in my purse. Your thought re God keeping me around was very wise and my first thought was ---"She is right, that makes sense!" I also like your response about our family being great as it is.

I am sorry for your loss. I am sure your girls are very beautiful and wonderful. I am around if you ever want to write.You made a difference in my day. Thank you so much!

Caroline Claire
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  #4  
Unread 06-28-2005, 03:13 PM
Placenta Previa Resulting in Hysterectomy

Dear Caroline:

When I had my hyst, I was past 40, DH had a vasectomy, and we felt our family was complete... it was still a time of tears and many mixed emotions... the end of an era.

We never know what path lies ahead of us in our life. In 1987 our first pregnancy ended in miscarriage. That baby was due in November... In October 1987, we got a phone call that an 11-month-old girl was available for adoption. She came home to us in November... our baby arrived right on time! She was put on this Earth to be ours. Divine intervention?

I wish you good health and hope as you follow YOUR path.

I hope your heart feels better soon. I am sending huge cyberhugs
  #5  
Unread 06-28-2005, 03:17 PM
Placenta Previa Resulting in Hysterectomy

Sweetie, I feel your pain and sadness. I had the opposite happen to me. I had placenta abruptio with my twin pregnancy and at the time they were more worried about me losing too much blood than the 2 little guys inside me. Of course, I was just fine but I lost a son in the process. For some time to come I could not even look at twin boys and I would burst into tears. I never had any more children after that because my DH just could not bear the thoughts of another pregnancy gone wrong. My other son is now 24 and a lovely young man. I also have an older daughter who is married. And yet still as I visit my other son's grave, I still wonder what it would have been like to have him in my life.
What I am saying to you is this, no matter what happens in life we must find the good things in it. Take time to grieve your loss but just know it does get better. I am so sorry this has happened to you and even more sorrier that others don't understrand. I KNOW how you feel there even though our situations are different. The shock of what has happened will wear off someday soon and you will be able to enoy your life again. Please take it from me.....................it does get better. I hope your doctor knows how you are feeling so he can be of any help if need be. Have faith in God hun and enjoy your children. Look at not what was taken from you but what was given to you. God bless!!!!!!!!


Emily s
  #6  
Unread 06-28-2005, 08:01 PM
Placenta Previa Resulting in Hysterectomy

Dear Caroline Claire

I am sending you many s ... I can not imagine the pain you are going through.

This site have been a great comfort to me and I know that you will find great comfort from the sisters here.

to the site, don't forget we are always here.

Ginger
  #7  
Unread 07-04-2005, 06:24 PM
Placenta Previa Resulting in Hysterectomy

I am so sad to read your story....Your not alone , I have the same feeling you have .I could not believe what i was reading, its how i feel on what happen to me...To share my story In brief I had a 11.5 pds baby a few months ago and after the C-section my uterus would not contract. During this time I was awake and in fear for my life! I heard all the details disussed about giving me a blood transfusion and they were going to lose me. I asked numerous times what was happening after they didn't answer I started to scream for my life. I was frustrated and mad that this was the way I was going to die. Then they knock me out and I woke up with tubes down my throat and with no uterus. I thought I would be able to work through this and I did for awhile for my children. At this point I am having reoccuring dreams and find I am constantly in a panic to what happened. I am going through anger phase now and want to talk with people but no one seems to understand what happened to me. So if you need someone to talk to please email me......Take care Brneyes
  #8  
Unread 07-08-2005, 05:26 AM
Placenta Previa Resulting in Hysterectomy

Hey! So sorry to hear what you have been through...it's not what you expect from pregnancy,is it?! I had an emergency c-section, and then 9 days later had a secondary post partum haemorrhage.I was in I.C.U for 3 days comatosed,had 45 units of blood transfused and had heart faliure...an emergency hyst was done to save my life.It was very traumatic,and I feel very young to be even discussing hysterectomy related issues.

I also mourn the loss of further children,it upsets me that my son won't have a sibling.It is so hard to understand why things like this occur...all my friends had normal births,and I really feel envious of them.It does make for such contradicting feelings...my son has just started using a cup, and while I'm so proud, it also makes me sad that I'll never have those moments again.

It's been 7 months since my PPH occured, and I still get awful flashbacks of the whole thing.For my sanity, though, I try to think positively...I have realised I can't change anything and I have to make the most of what I do have...we are very fortunate to still be here, so we must be strong women! I hope you feel abit better soon!

Take care! Sian
  #9  
Unread 07-14-2005, 11:10 PM
Placenta Previa Resulting in Hysterectomy

In 1985 I was pregnant with my third son. At four months I started to spot and when I went to my ob, I found out I had placenta previa. I was told to abort since shortly after that visit, I bled so heavily that I had to wear 2 pads. I would not abort my son. I was not going to play God and I hung in there--wearing 2 pads during the remainder of my pregnancy and praying all the time that Jeremy would make it. For awhile it seemed I was going to make it. Then, at six months, I was getting "smaller" in the stomach instead of bigger and after visiting my ob I found out that there was a rupture in the amniotic sac. I was devastated. My husband was a jerk because he never wanted this baby so he let the bank foreclose on our house, turned off the gas & electric and went home to mommy. I was a high risk pregnancy with a 2 year old son and a 3 year old son and I had to move. I found an apartment for us, movedand went into premature labor shortly after. When I gave birth, alone in the emergency room, the placenta came first and then my son, who gasped and died. He weighed 1 lb 13 oz and was 13 inches long. I was 36 weeks pregnant. He was beautiful, though. Sorry, to make an already long story short, I bled for months after his birth and the doctor said he would need to do a hysterectomy. I told him no. I was 30 years old. He said I would eventually bleed to death. I told him I'd been bleeding like this for four months and was still alive. He put me on different birth control pills until one of them FINALLY stopped the bleeding. I was told after that I would NEVER be able to have and/or carry more babies. In 1989, I gave birth to a 3lb. 15 oz. 16 in. long baby boy, who will be 16 in November and weighs more than me. It is almost 2 years ago I had my TAH/BSO. I NOW feel great--I've lost 33 lbs., I take NO hormones--I take Women's Choice (Herbal Life)and it's fabulous. My hair has grown back in, myh skin looks great, I feel great and I take calcium twice daily with the Herbal Life. I will be 50 in Sept. My point is, it does get better and sometimes when faced with something, you have to buck the system. If I would have listened to my ob in 1986, I would not have my son now. But keep the faith. You will get through this and you will heal all the way around.
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