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well what do i do now?  I am so scared well what do i do now? I am so scared

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Unread 03-25-2001, 10:48 PM
well what do i do now? I am so scared

Girls I am sitting at this computer crying. my oncologist just phoned and it looks like they have found a small micro invasive area in the tissue that they cut out. Now she thinks I will have to have radiation,it will be for 3 days and a metal tube is placed in my vagina. Oh I am so scared. I have an 11 year old daughter who I want to see grow up. And I feel so nauseous from the shock. Can't stop crying. Please some one help me
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Unread 03-26-2001, 12:44 AM
Robyn ((((hug))))


I am awake in the middle of the night, thinking, praying about my surgery (2nd cone CIN III) later today. Mine seems so minor compared to so many sisters out there.
But I am still frightened...not of the surgery, but the outcome....the unknown. What I have read and been told by my doctor.. (who in December 1999 was 90% certain I had cervical cancer - biopsies then came back CIN II) That cervical cancer in its early stage has a very high cure with surgery and radiation.

I think of how fortunate we are that were diagnosed in the early stages, while we can manage and treat the disease successfully. I am sorry you have struggled long and hard and still are not finished.

You are in my prayers tonight for healing, comfort, and God's peace that transcends all understaning.

God willing my journey through this precancer nightmare will stop at the second cone. You have been an encouragement and inspiration to me as I read your posts on the board. Pray for me also.

God Bless you

Unread 03-26-2001, 01:55 AM
well what do i do now? I am so scared

Hi Sweetie,
I am so sorry you did not get the news we had hoped for. Most us in this forum have received that phone call as well, and we got through it.

Of course you are scared, but try to focus on your doctors words "small micro". Thats encouraging I think.

From what you have said, it sounds like its internal radiation which I don't have any experience with, but have seen many ladies post about that, and I am sure they will reply to your post here and be of some comfort to you.

You have to take one step at a time, although I know with everything you have been through, you just want this nightmare finished with.

Please know we will all be praying for you hon, and hoping for the very best outcome.
E-mail me anytime at all Robyn. we are all here for you.

I hope you are going to see your oncologist in person soon, so she can give you more information.

Do take care and try not to worry. I know only too well that is very hard to do right now, so give yourself time to absorb the initial shock.

Remember we are here for you Robyn.
Love ya and sending lots of hugs to you.
M. xoxo
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Unread 03-26-2001, 04:45 AM
well what do i do now? I am so scared

Oh Robyn, I wish that I was able to be there for you and really give you a warm hug!!! Please dear, let the tears flow and get all of the emotions out. Don't keep things bottled up inside of you. We are all here for you and we so much wanted things to have gone differently for you. You are a wonderful person and we are all concerned about you!!
I can only imagine how frightened you are, but please try to keep in mind that there have been other women to come in here that have gone through this same procedure. They said that the radiation was not bad at all, and they got themselves upset and shouldn't have! Don't let your imagination run wild on you! This is the time to set your mind to getting these treatments done and then getting on with raising your daughter!! You have so much to look forward to, especially since she is only 11!! Wait until she starts dating!
Please feel free to email me if you would like! I will be keeping you on my prayer list and asking the Lord to comfort you and help you through this whole ordeal. I will be praying for your dd too!! ((((Robyn))))
Unread 03-26-2001, 06:38 AM
well what do i do now? I am so scared


I also wish I could be there to give you some real {{{hugs}}}. I've been following your posts, and I was hoping to hear other news.

I don't know anything about internal radiation either, but like Cyd said, I'm sure some other sisters will be along to talk to you.

I just wanted to let you know I understand how you feel. It's so hard to hear news like that. Your brain immediately kicks into overdrive and heads to the worst-case scenario. Remember, cervical cancer is curable, especially if it is caught early (and it sounds like your was).

I'll keep you in my prayers. Please keep us posted.
Unread 03-27-2001, 01:47 AM
well what do i do now? I am so scared

{{{ Robyn}}}

I just heard your news and I have tears in my eyes for you. I'm sure the shock must have been great. But since it IS in there, I'm glad they found it so it can be treated immediately and gotten rid of so you can go on about your life with your 11-year old. I watch for your posts since I also have CIN III (also VAIN III). Please know that I am praying for you and will continue to watch for your updates.
Unread 03-27-2001, 09:15 PM
well what do i do now? I am so scared


Well, I think we've all been where you are now. Focus on the positive: it sounds like it was caught at an early stage so your chances for survival should be good.

I had external beam, not internal, so I can't comment on that. Mine was a nightmare - nausea, diarrhea, hospitalization for "entiritis" - BUT, that was last summer, and now it's over and I'm pretty much normal, and that whole thing seems like a bad dream! Some day soon everythng you're going through now will seem like that, too - your life will get back to normal and you may even appreciate it all the more for having it threatened! I do.

Hang in there,


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