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I wanted to share his life with you I wanted to share his life with you

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  #1  
Unread 09-01-2005, 02:39 PM
I wanted to share his life with you

Hello Everyone,
Well I havent been back to post in awhile, and of course one more thing added to my stress level didnt help.

I want to share a story of someone with you. Maybe it will help, maybe not. I met this lady (1986) when I was young, she had three kids and needed a babysitter. The oldest was a bratty lil thing, 9, he had a sister and a baby brother. This kid and i battled every day over everything, and I never let in. I always felt as though I was just fighting a losing battle. But man, I grew to love him, he was so strong with such a good heart. I met my husband (1988) and sadly had to leave my friend and her children behind to move two provinces away for my own protection. I was very sad to leave as was my lil friend.

Summer of 1989 I had spoken to my lil friend on the phone and he said to me "Kathy, i want to come stay with you in BC. I dont like it here and I miss you." Of course he was too young, and whenever I came back to visit, I had to see my friend and her kids. My lil friend was always hangin around visiting, and being who he was. I found out at some point he had ADD and had been sexually abused by his uncle. Sure he got in all kinds of trouble, some more serious than others, but I loved him anyhow. Through the years I realized it was as if he was MY son, my first born.

In summer of 2000 we moved back to Sask, and to a young man, no longer my lil friend. He was drinkin and smoking, bein bad, chasin women, but was still my lil friend. He would sit and have coffee or take us to the bar. He was making something of himself. I was so proud of my lil friend and how wonderfully he had grown up. He was a hell raiser, but had a heart of gold.

In 2002 he met a lil teeny girl, and they got married. My lil friend and i hugged and cried at his wedding. I was so proud of him. He looked so handsome, and she was a princess. I was so happy as was his mom. Our baby had grown up and was makin his way in life. Shortly after they bought a motel, a house and he was workin for an oil rig company. Life seemed complete when they had a baby girl 20 months ago. He had his own wonderful life, and sadly I dropped out of it.

Last Saturday night, my mom called me on the phone and said "Why didnt you tell me?" I asked what she meant.... She said he was in the paper, and my first reaction was "OMG what did he do now??" (He actually had won money through Readers Digest, he was always surprising people...) Mom sadly said to me, "No his obit..." Disbelief set in as I screamed at my son to bring my paper to me....I started to shake as I read the words " August 7, 2005, age 28, passed away suddenly, funeral service, internment, survivors, funeral home". My life stopped. I stared at the picture, tryin to make sense of life again. His beautiful happy face staring at me, such light in his eyes, beside an obituary. It didnt make sense. I was crying and put it down to blurry vision...I remember shouting, my mom was upset, my son asking what was wrong. Tryin to connect the dots at that moment was beyond me completely.

I immediately called my friend. Cryin uncontrollably I asked why no one had called me. She thought I had heard about. I asked what happened. He was on a motorbike, on an ungraded corner, lost control. No excessive speed, no alcohol involved, helmet intact, brain dead, life support.

As I sit and look at his picture now, it still doesnt compute that the smile is no more, that his life is over. How do you let go and move on from this? How do you explain to your own child that it happens, when it never should? How can i honor him, not ever having said good bye? How do you ever say good bye?

Please say a prayer for this family, my family, my friends. It has been very difficult to deal with this, and tomorrow I am goin to his grave. I need to find some peace, he touched so many lives and is in Heaven right now, sad because I hurt, his mom hurts, he wouldnt want that. He worked so hard and did so well, with all the emotional wreckage, and the ADD. I am here to say how proud I am of my lil friend, and how much i love him and miss him. How sad I am that I didnt share in his life the past couple years, and that i never told him how special he was to me. Or how much I loved him.

Good bye lil friend, rest in peace.

Kat
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  #2  
Unread 09-01-2005, 03:48 PM
I wanted to share his life with you

Dear Kat,
I'm so sorry for your loss. It's always hard when there is a seemingly senseless death like this and at such a young age. I am praying for you and for his family and young widow. I pray God will reach down and touch their hearts and give comfort as only he can do. I pray they will be drawn closer to Him and not turn away. He wants to meet their needs and bring healing to the pain that I know you all feel because of this loss.
Thank you for sharing this young man's life with us. It sounds like he overcame so much and had found his way in life. There are no easy answers to why things like this happen. I hope you can find a peace in your heart in time.

's, Rita
  #3  
Unread 09-02-2005, 12:38 PM
I am so sorry.

Hi Kat, I am so very sorry to hear about your lil friend.
You know, we are never promised tomorrow. Twenty Eight is still a baby. I could not begin to tell you how to let go. It is something that I cannot do easily. I have always prayed to God. PLEASE don't take my son away. He is all I have. You can have me or put any pain and hurt on me but please protect my son. He is my gift from God. My lil angel. I know you feel the same about this lil fellow AND your own son.
Kat, I miss your humor on here. I miss you having your bright and good days. Remember about 9 or 10 months ago when you posted about you dancin in front of your son and how funny that was? I do. Kat, I know now, when I look back on my down days, when I was trying to raise my son alone. What an impact that had on him. I feel so robbed of the time wasted being depressed. Yet, at the time I felt I couldn't help it. It truly surfaced in my 30's. Time heals the hurt. I for you that your counseling/therapy will in time be a gift for you and God will send happiness your way. and have a happy labor day and a safe weekend. I am always here for ya girl......
Love ya, Sunshine 48
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  #4  
Unread 09-02-2005, 12:47 PM
I wanted to share his life with you

You, your family and friends are in my prayers. We often forget how precious each day is. We take life for granted rushing to do this and rushing to do that. Your lil friend was put in this world for a reason, he apparently was needed in heaven and the Lord called him. You will never understand. Just be there for his mom, his wife and his child. Hopefully you can reconnect with the new lil one and help carry on memories of her father.

GA
  #5  
Unread 09-02-2005, 02:41 PM
I wanted to share his life with you

I am so sorry for your loss Kat...It is very difficult to accept a sudden death...Tonite one of my best friends is being put to rest due to a unsolved shooting...The emotions I am feeling range from remembering the good times to outbursts...His children are my saving grace tho...Make sure you tell his lil girl all the stories, good and bad, of her father...I will keep your family and his in my prayers
  #6  
Unread 09-02-2005, 02:58 PM
I wanted to share his life with you

Oh ((Harley_Kat & Immablue fish),
I am so sorry for the losses you are both feeling. It is so hard to lose someone when you didn't get to say good bye. I will keep both of you in my prayers and will pray God grants you peace and comfort during this terrible time. Sending gentle hugs.............
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