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Need to vent---DH is "this close" to losing his "D" Need to vent---DH is "this close" to losing his "D"

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  #1  
Unread 09-07-2005, 01:07 PM
Need to vent---DH is "this close" to losing his "D"

Sorry ladies, but I need to vent. My "D"H was absolutely wonderful during my initial recovery. He would not let me do ANYTHING. Mostly, he wanted me to lay in bed or in the recliner, watch TV, read, do crosswords, etc. I could not have asked for a better recovery. He didn't even want me to help fold laundry.

Now the down side: Since my 6 wk check up, he has done almost nothing around the house!!!!! I'm so frustrated with him, I could spit nails (as my grandmother used to say). No laundry, no cleaning, no cooking, no NOTHING!!!!!!!!! :burning:

I am self-employed as a medical transcriptionist, so I went 4 wks without any paycheck at all, which means things are REALLY tight right now. So, what does he do? He has played golf (at at least $25 each time) THREE times in the last 2 weeks. Not only is the money going out a problem, but when he plays golf he's always gone at least 3 hours. That leaves me with the kids to take care of, making sure homework is done, etc. How inconsiderate can you be???? And, to top it off, he wonders why I don't feel like having sex now. DUH, how self-centered can one person be?

He says he understands that I can do all my normal activities now, but that I get tired very easily, but he sure isn't showing any understanding now.

Sorry, I just needed to vent and to see if anybody else has a DH who just stopped being supportive once they were released by the doc.
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  #2  
Unread 09-07-2005, 01:52 PM
Need to vent---DH is "this close" to losing his "D"

Sorry you are having this problem, I dont have a DH. But maybe you can try not doing anything. See what happens. Dont cook--well you gotta cook for the kids but dont wash clothes and dont clean the house. See what happens....

I feel ya on the sex---he cant help around the house dont give him any.

GA
  #3  
Unread 09-07-2005, 01:56 PM
Need to vent---DH is "this close" to losing his "D"

Are ya sure we're not sharing the same husband? Holy smokes! I couldn't believe what I was reading. They're definitely made from the same mold. They must've called each other for advice............ scumbags that they are............(just kidding)
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  #4  
Unread 09-07-2005, 02:11 PM
Need to vent---DH is "this close" to losing his "D"

Oh yeah, the first day home from the hospital, my husband took care of dd, did laundry, cooked, did dishes, (now these are things he NEVER does) so I was SHOCKEDDDD. But that was the only day I got help (from him) other than to run to the store to get what I needed. I appreciated the work that day and told him so, but did hope for more. At least to give dd her baths at night. Oh well, you are not the only one. Hope you feel better.
  #5  
Unread 09-07-2005, 02:14 PM
Need to vent---DH is "this close" to losing his "D"

Good Lord Woman...

" It's always alright to vent. Men honestly, even if they really really try can't understand how hard and emotional it is for us to carry the babies, and all these extra hormones for so long.

I think when my appointment comes around.. I let hubby wait in the car, I truly don't want him to get any idea's that I will be painting the garage on my 6 week check up while he starts getting ready for sports season.
  #6  
Unread 09-07-2005, 02:34 PM
Need to vent---DH is "this close" to losing his "D"

Wow. I am so sorry.

Are you asking him to do specific things and he says "no" or are you just hoping he'll volunteer? You might try being very direct. Tell him that by the time you do your evening chores you don't have energy for sex. You'd like to reserve some energy for sex, so you need him to help (and be specific, do you want him to run the baths, check homework, cook dinner, wash clothes?).

BTW, sounds like you two really need to get on the same page with the budget. Maybe he doesn't realize how tight money is. If his golf spending is going to keep you from paying the bills, please say something. Its either not obvious to him that less income means less out-go. Or, he's in denial. Either way, responsibility before fun.

My heart goes out to you. I hope your recovery continues to be smooth and that your DH starts helping.

  #7  
Unread 09-07-2005, 02:48 PM
Need to vent---DH is "this close" to losing his "D"

I guess I have to say I have been very lucky. I attribute this to the fact that DH has been with me every step of the way and he has heard first hand what the doctor's and medical professionals have had to say. He was in the room with me from the first trip to the ER right through to my 6 week check up. He heard everything first hand and has been very supportive. At my 6 week checkup he was there to hear the doctor tell me that although I could start to resume my normal activities "slowly" that there were still restrictions as far as lifting, etc. When I have overdone it and have a sore tummy or feel very tired, he understands and he takes over and makes me lay down and rest or sit and put my feet up. I feel very blessed to have a partner that is so very supportive. I think one thing I would advise all sisters going through this is make sure your partner or family members are involved. It is the only way they can understand by hearing it straight from the doctor just as we do. My heart goes out to those who don't have the support and I consider myself to be very fortunate.
  #8  
Unread 09-07-2005, 03:15 PM
Need to vent---DH is "this close" to losing his "D"

This is what I did to "cure" my DH of leaving things around. I didn't pick it up. One day we were having company over and he said when are you going to pick up the house? I turned to him and said whos stuff is it? He is much better at picking up his things.
  #9  
Unread 09-07-2005, 03:18 PM
Need to vent---DH is "this close" to losing his "D"

In some ways I am having the same issues as most of you ladies. My Dh seemed great the first few DAYS. I have felt so great since the very begining very little pain and for the most part have had nearly the same energy level as before, sometime more sometimes less. After seeing how great I was feeling he doesn't understand why I can't do all my normal activities. At my 2 week check up Doc told me to ease back into my normal routine slowly, one activity at a time, I was already doing dishes and laundry, no lifting, got help with the carring and heavy dishes. These things went nearly a week before getting done and I could not take the filth any longer!!! I finally swept and mopped my hard floors mon, it had been 3 WEEKS since the floor had even been swept, I don't know how any person can stand that. THEN he had the nerve to complain about chasing around our 2 yo DD during our son's soccer practice while I just sat around and talked, hey at least I was there at all. I may feel great, and am almost back to all my normal activity, but I know I still have a lot of internal healing to do and still need to be carful. Thanks sisters for also letting me vent. I was thinking about this earlier but had not had time to post and am so glad I am not the only one. Thanks Angela
  #10  
Unread 09-07-2005, 03:53 PM
Need to vent---DH is "this close" to losing his "D"

  Quote:
Originally Posted by semmens
Are ya sure we're not sharing the same husband? Holy smokes! I couldn't believe what I was reading. They're definitely made from the same mold. They must've called each other for advice............ scumbags that they are............(just kidding)
Hey.....guess what he's over here in the UK too, their mama's must have bought the same clone from the same mail order catalogue
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