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Anyone else with a gifted child? Anyone else with a gifted child?

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Unread 11-29-2005, 03:17 PM
Anyone else with a gifted child?

That is a hard questions deciding whether or not to skip a grade. We had that opportunity when our DS was in second grade and thought that socially he probably should stay. Later, I wished we had done it. DS gradueated from HS a semester early, but it taking the 5 plus year plan in college. Guess he really does like school?

We have always been in the smallest of the small school systems. We always had to find things for our kids to do at home. Older DS was fascinated with the encyclopedia early on. DD like to read. Younger DS seemed to just absorb stuff. We did things like zoos, museums, attend plays. I also told them that as they got into middle school and high school they would grow into their intelligence and the teachers would appreciate this in them. It has happened that way. As they get older, they can do tutoring.

One has to be creative in helping them access information.

All three of my kids had messy rooms and no amount of persuading them helped so we would just close their doors. Now the two in college are becoming more organized, small dorm rooms and roommates help.

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Unread 11-29-2005, 03:37 PM
Anyone else with a gifted child?

I think much depends on what time of year they are born. If they are born right after the cut off for the next grade, then skipping a grade may not be such a big deal (ie: Cut off is Sept 30th, and child is born November 30th). Definitely social skills play a part in things. Many gifted kids are intellectually highly qualified, but socially at their own age level, if not less. I know my son is definitely 16!! Hormones and all. And is greatly influenced by older kids, so I try very hard to keep him within his own age group. This is why the university keeps the Freshman class away from the Sophmores and above. For one, in college, many kids start drinking - yet Freshman are not of age. For those going into college earlier, that's even a better reason to keep them separated for the first year. Other kids are starting to experiment with sexuality, while a 14 year old "College Freshman" is probably still playing Nintendo!!

It does become much easier as they get into Junior High and High School, as they are able to select their own classes, and many Advance Placement classes in math, reading and science are available.
Unread 11-29-2005, 03:46 PM
Anyone else with a gifted child?

I am blessed with a Gifted Child, also. It was very obvious from the time that he was VERY young that my DS was highly intelligent. Testing only proved what we all knew-we had a little genius on our hands. I am here to tell you, it is NOT always an easy thing. I'll start with how things WERE before I brag on how wonderful things are now!
When he was younger, he was just as many of you have written above-very disorganized and hard to handle in some ways. He has always been a very loving and gentle child though. Very thoughtful and sensitive. I knew I was in for trouble when he was RUNNING(I think he skipped from crawling to sprinting with no WALKING in between)at about 5 months. He was reading books by himself at 2-we're not talking See **** and Jane books either, by any means. He was reading Harry Potter books and comprehending them(all 600 and some odd pages)by the time he was 4.
With daycare and pre K issues that arose, you'd have thought I had a behavior problem on my's because he was bored, plain and simple. He kicked his assistant Principal in kindergarten-he was always very intense when he was younger. But he was totally brilliant!!
They finally tested him in 2nd grade and told me his IQ was higher than Einstein's. GRRRREAT, I thought! He used to drive me to tears with unfinished homework, talking in class, all kinds of things.....turned out, he was a perfectionist who felt that if he could not do something 110%, he did not want to do it at all.
There were SERIOUS social implications....he was a nice enough kid, but obviously other kids were not on his level, on any level...
THEN they wanted to move him up a few grades....there was NO way in the world I was going to do that! I was already worried about having a social misfit!
It was hard, we had to ride him constantly about getting his homework done...he'd wait til' the night before a HUGE project was done to tell us he HAD a got to where I was just ready to pull my hair out. There were periods of time that his behavior had me questioning if he had ADHD. I asked several Dr's, and got several answers. In the end, I'm glad I stuck to my gut feeling and didn't have him put on medication-his behavior was NOT that severe, by any means...I found that out by learning more about ADHD. We have always been so proud of him....but were worried sick, at the same time.
I could go on and on with all of the different things he did and things that happened, but I look at other's stories, and realize that he had a really mild case of "gifted child-itis" compared to many others.
He is FINALLY feeling comfortable in his skin and we have never been so happy. It all really kicked in last year when he got involved in the Odyssey of the Mind program. It opened up a whole new world to him! If you don't know about the program, I urge you to look into it! He has really blossomed socially and has a group of wonderful friends...has a 4.0 and does all of his work on time, without being ridden. He is a totally different child today than he was a few years ago. He's 13, and already has several major universities calling here asking us to come visit. I am so glad that we held on to hope and just allowed him to grow into his brain! Now our 7 yr old DD has had her teachers request she be tested for the gifted program....thank goodness, she's like her Mom and is a social butterfly! Well, thank you for letting me share my good fortune...I hope you are all well, and that you all love your gifted children for who they are, no matter who they want to be!

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Unread 11-29-2005, 03:49 PM
Anyone else with a gifted child?

Oh MY did I really get **** 's filtering a man's first name? Ok, well I wasn't refering to an organ, just a name! I'm an I/T girl, so I get the filter, but I wanted to let you all know I didn't type anything nasty in my post above!
Unread 11-29-2005, 03:59 PM
Anyone else with a gifted child?

It is not easy having a gifted child.

Some schools have Quiz Bowl and some have Academic Decathalon and some have the Oddysey of the Mind. Some of these have variations in middle school.

When the jock types would give my kids a hard time (they were not athletic at all) I would remind them that as they get older, they would have their knowledge that will get them through life, but only a few go far in athletics and that the bodies wear out. I am not meaning to know athletes here at all. I had to do what I could do to let my kids know that they were great even though they were not athletic. They are all great kids.


Unread 11-29-2005, 04:32 PM
Anyone else with a gifted child?

Just wanted to drop a little note. Both of our boys are smart and are easily bored. Our oldest son did skip a grade, and no one could ever tell. Our youngest son did not skip a grade and was so bored in K he shut down. At this point we have chosen not to test them outside of state testing as they both have had little bouts of "ego" over their intelligents and there were no extra options for them in our small school anyway.

As many have mentioned, gifted kids require different parenting and teaching skills! They are wonderful kids, but can be a handful! Just because they are gifted does not mean they are perfect! Both mine have trouble sitting still and concentrating and our youngest is very hyper but not ADHD. And we had an issue with a teacher who felt that since our youngest son was so smart, he should also be socially advanced. Since he could carry on a conversation with an adult about an adult subject, she expected him to behave as an adult! But he was only 7 and acted 7!

There can be many social issues involved with a child skipping a grade and they should be considered. But in my own experience, I would have been better off skipping a grade, as well as my younger son. Both my DH and I were smart and bored in school (my mom also refused to have me tested as I was small so she refused to let them skip me a grade out of concern for my safety) so we have actually chosen to home school our boys this year to give them what they need in each subject, regardless of grade level. The small school was not able to meet their needs so school was becoming such a struggle. We are looking into a Science/Math Charter High School that just opened up near us as our oldest is a 6/7th grader. So far, homeschooling is working well for them as they love being able to learn at their own level and their own pace, and to study more in depth whatever strikes their fancy. We will continue with state testing but we have really adjusted the school work to match their learning styles and preferences and it is making a huge difference! (I am a stay at home mom so this is possible for us and I know it is not an option for a lot of parents.)

Best wishes to all of you with gifted kids! It would be nice if they came with instruction manuals!
Unread 11-29-2005, 04:50 PM
Anyone else with a gifted child?


Have you been to your highschool reunions?

I went to my 10th, and it was really fun to see the smart "nerdy" kids who'd spent their free time in the math lab. They were now the big wigs in Silicon Valley (where I'm from)! Another artistic nerd, who was my friend, directed the Lion King! (Robert Minkoff, AKA Robbie).

And the jocks---the ones we admired and were intimidated by, who had the pretty girlfriends---many of them were fat, balding and not terribly interesting. Not all, of course.

The (single) women there were flirting with the former nerds. It was great to see these guys who were so teased then now at the top of their game.

Unread 11-29-2005, 05:23 PM
Anyone else with a gifted child?

Ah, the class reunions! Yes, one does notice those things you mention. I tell my kids that too. I always thought that I would be forever in the town that I grew up in (not a bad thing) and some of the popular ones would end up all over the place. Well, I am the one that has lived and traveled all over and some of those others are around the hometown and not done much with their lives. Shows that if you go after what you want, you will have success. I tell my kids this too. That at their reunions, they are going to be the ones that people come up to and act like they are someone's long lost friend. My DS is one of those silicone valley types. He will be writing the software his classmates use. Well, that is his dream and it is time to start applying for that job as college grad is nearing.

I want to say that while our bright kids are challanges when they are younger, help them channel it and help them learn those things that they really want to learn (yes, it can take lots of work), when they go out in the world, they will take all those things they dealt with and use them to their advantage in becoming successful. They will be compassionate caring people.
Unread 11-29-2005, 06:08 PM
Anyone else with a gifted child?

Do you mean ALL children aren't gifted???
(Well, at least when they're sleeping.)
Unread 11-30-2005, 08:25 AM
Anyone else with a gifted child?

Ha haha! Yes, I really do believe that being gifts, they are all gifted in their own ways! Speaking of gifted children typically not being as athletic and sometimes picked on, I was heart broken 2 days ago when my son came home and had been punched on the school bus in the eye. He was sticking up for a smaller kid who was being bullied. Needless to say, the bully is off the bus for good and got out of school suspension for several weeks. My son is 13 but almost 6 ft. tall and weighs about 170. He could easily have kicked this other kids' booty...I am just thankful we taught him to behave differently, and taught him the same as you did-that he will have the gifts of his mind for years to come, well after the football players have had to hang up their jerseys. Now, I was both-gifted and athletic, as is our DD....I guess the girls in this family are just doubly blessed!


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