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Unread 11-08-2005, 12:56 PM
Need some support


Once in a while I email my boss to let her know how I am. She's fairly new. Anyway, she e-mailed me to see how I was doing; I told her that I'm recovering, but am very tired. I asked her how things were going; she told me that things are super busy, they are swamped, and that she would be thrilled when I was back. She also prefaced her message with, "no rush," so I know she didn't send the message to guilt me, but I do feel guilty about not being at work.

I had originally planned to work from home at week 4; but today I don't feel that I"m up to it. I don't want to jeopardize my disability and I'm out on FMLA. I just feel guilty. I need to be strong in my decision to take care of myself, but I feel awful. On the other hand, I've spent most of my life taking care of other people, and not myself, and I feel that that has to stop right now.

So confused.
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Unread 11-08-2005, 01:03 PM
Need some support

Why dont you go back part time just to ease into things and when you fill up to it go back full time. Your boss may appriciate your willingness to help out. Good luck, Rose
Unread 11-08-2005, 01:04 PM
Need some support

Hello Pandamonium

Please stop feeling awful about not returning to work just yet. Sweetie, you really need this time to take care of you and recuperate. Believe me, your job will still be there once you are ready to return.

But, right now, you have to focus on you. Let go of the guilt and anxiety of not being at work right now. Your body is at work healing itself. As you know, it takes a lot of energy for our bodies to heal properly. Give yourself time. You really and truly not only deserve it--you NEED it. S ~Moonchime
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Unread 11-08-2005, 01:06 PM
Need some support

I think most of us feel guilty when we are needed at work and we know it. But remember you only get one chance to heal. If you are still that tired I would wait out this week and see how you feel next week. If she is being great about it, don't push yourself. I am sure they need you but it will still be there when you get back. Good luck on the rest of your recovery.
Unread 11-08-2005, 01:54 PM
Need some support

Thank you all so much. I think I will definately need to take this one day, one week at a time. Last week I felt great; this week I feel like a truck hit me. I promise I will try to listen to my body.

You guys are great.
Unread 11-08-2005, 04:18 PM
Need some support

Dear Pandamonium:

Your "job" right now is to heal.
Unread 11-08-2005, 04:46 PM
Need some support

Hi! I had a TVH on October 10th so we are at about the same place and I can't imagine going back to work yet! I too feel somewhat guilty, but seriously take advantage of one of the few true benefits the government has given us - FMLA. This is to protect your job during times like this. You only get one chance to do this right. If you go back too early and develop complications because of it won't you be mad at yourself? I always try to remember that in 20 years I may not be working at the same place, but my family and in this case my body will still be around (hopefully!) so take care of yourself now - your job will always be there. GOOD LUCK!
Unread 11-09-2005, 01:25 AM
Need some support

Oh Sweetie,
Moonchime is ABSOLUTELY right as are our other sisters! I bet that you would be the first one to tell one of your coworkers to take the time that they need to heal, so why not take the same great advice yourself?

I am SO GLAD that I took six weeks after my TVH. I needed it for my physical recovery but I needed it even more to recharge my mental batteries. It was the first time I ahd ever taken a significant amount of time off for myself and I am now A BIG FAN OF THIS CONCEPT! In fact, I think it should be mandatory! I'm sure that your coworkers will pitch in for you just like I'm sure you would do for them.

I can tell you that my boss always appreciated me, but in my abscence he found a new found appreciation for my work, and has not been shy about expressing it. So, my dear, I would suggest that if you have the time, take it... and if you HAVE to go in for a meeting here and there OK... then go home and get back to recovering. The world will still be there ready for you to jump back on when you are ready for it. Trust me!

Good luck to you and remember that YOUR HEALTH and WELL BEING has to come FIRST!
Unread 11-09-2005, 06:15 PM
Need some support

Thank you all so much. It's hard to keep still and heal, but you've all convinced me that I'd better try!
Unread 11-09-2005, 08:29 PM
Need some support

GOOD DEAL! If you start MISSING WORK, please feel free to hunt me down and I will give you an update on the goofiness that is going on at the moment. Dont get me wrong, I do love the goofiness, but I think that my job description should include running wildly with scissors.

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