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Im Mad About Tv Shows That Make Jokes Im Mad About Tv Shows That Make Jokes

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Unread 04-07-2001, 06:56 PM
Im Mad About Tv Shows That Make Jokes

it makes me mad to be watching a show, and there is a joke in there about women who have had a hyst. like, oh no your going to get facial hair, or talk like a man. and the latest was a hyst joke and the lady said thats just a joke around the retirement home. lots more, to me its no different than making fun of someone who has heart problems or cancer. its not like its something we chose. people can be so ignorant. do u think most people think like that when u tell them youve had a hyst. im just venting.
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Unread 04-07-2001, 07:42 PM
hi Schakie!

No one has asked me yet if I am going to grow hair or talk like a man, but I am stunned at the amount of people who have asked me if this means I can`t have sex anymore! I guess they think it just got sewn shut! Color me red...and amazed!


Unread 04-07-2001, 09:44 PM
nothing yet!

I haven't had any rude remarks yet, or anything about sex. However, I didn't tell a close friend of mine that I was having this surgery. Her husband is one of those rude/crude sort of people that thinks he's funny, and makes really cutting remarks. The next time he'd see me, he'd say "well, how's it feel to be fixed" I said this to my husband and he agreed that's exactly what he would say. They live out of state, so what they don't know ......won't hurt me!
This is a private, emotional, major decision and life changing circumstance. No one has the right to make light of or joke about this.

My Love and Special Hugs to any sister who has encountered anything derogatory.
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Unread 04-07-2001, 09:47 PM
Im Mad About Tv Shows That Make Jokes

I had polycystic ovary syndrome and had facial hair like a man. This hair has virtually vanished since surgery. If someone had made a joke to me about that, I would have corrected them and told them that the surgery helped cause my facial hair to go away.
Unread 04-07-2001, 10:26 PM
You're So Young!!!!!

That's the comment I keep encountering. People just don't realize what some of us live with at an early age and for how long we suffer before giving in to having the surgery. Then everyone wants to approach how I feel about not being able to have anymore children. I fortunately have two healthy boys and am very happy about that. When people who do not know much about me make comments about this, I am glad I am happy and really "feel" for those women not as fortunate. Some people just lack social skills.
Unread 04-10-2001, 11:27 AM
Too young to have a hysterectomy!!

I, too, have heard this comment multiple times. I am 35 and my husband and I do not have any children. This surgery arose due to painful periods and painful intercourse (due to fibroids) and was the only real option to relieve all the problems that had gone on for so many years.

The other comment that people make is that we won't be able to have children - HELLO!! Do they think that hadn't crossed our minds prior to the surgery????

My only response to someone who gives a callous remark to the fact that you have had a hyst is "Perhaps you would not have said that if you were more informed." Sorry to be so blunt but I don't believe it is anyone else's place to comment on something as serious as the surgery that another person has experienced. Just my thoughts...
Unread 04-10-2001, 12:20 PM
Im Mad About Tv Shows That Make Jokes

I have to agree with alysonm. I am 34 and have had very painful periods for years that fibroids just aggravated. I've wanted a hyst since I was 27 but my then-doctor wouldn't hear of it. He decided to try other things that made me feel horrible. I was glad we moved and I found my current gyn. She's an angel! Anyway, my mom told her friend about my surgery and she said oh, but she's so young and doesn't have any kids. For some reason, that comment really made me mad! She did not have to endure the years of problems I had to. I go back to work next week and will get my ammo in check. I like alysonm's saying and will use it...if they were more informed, maybe they wouldn't be saying what they are to me. I just get tired of the I'm sorrys or you're so young. Maybe I will ask them if they have a few hours to listen to my horror stores of all the years of pain and bleeding I've had to endure. Maybe then they'll understand. LOL
Unread 04-10-2001, 12:55 PM
Im Mad About Tv Shows That Make Jokes

On March 6th, at the age of 26, I had my hysterectomy. I have found that most people I know do not want to discuss it at all. That has been aggravating. Everyone is acting as if nothing every happened to me. HELLO, I JUST HAD A MAJOR SURGERY!!!! Please, people are still informing me of pregnancies, showing me baby pictures...whatever else that you can think of that could be hurtful this early post-op. I'm just trying to suck it up and go on. I hope that eventually it will not hurt as bad when people tell me they are pregnant or want to show me their babies pictures. However, I did go and see a friend of mine's 7 week old baby the other day. On my way there, I thought I was making the biggest mistake of my life. I had not seen him since he was born and I had my surgery a few weeks later. At any rate, once I got there, it was very therapeutic for me. I really feel like that I let go of a lot of hurt feelings. Of course, it did help that she had to go through a whole lot to get that baby. Maybe I would not feel the same with one of my friends that gets pregnant when the wind changes directions! HA!

Unread 04-10-2001, 01:56 PM
Im Mad About Tv Shows That Make Jokes

Sounds like a good opportunity for some "Miss Manners" kinds of replies. If you haven't read her books, head to your library - they are great!

SCHAKIE2000 - You're right to be ticked about those jokes. It's amazing how many people get their information about the world from TV - and from sitcoms, at that. That's why it bugs me when shows portray women as vain, shallow, ditzy, backbiting bimbos - people actually believe that stuff.

For replies to dumb comments - how about "It's unfortunate how much misinformation there is about hysterectomies. The truth is..."

For polite questions, I'll give a polite answer ("I'm doing much better, thank you.") But if someone is prying, making dumb statements (about how I'll probably go insane now), or just genuinely curious (dealing with similar issues), then I'll give 'em *all* the details, right down to tampons/hour, stool softeners and surgical info (wanna see my staples?). That usually fixes 'em.

I have a friend with a really active, bright, outgoing 3-yr old (=trouble). I've never wanted kids, and neither did she (whoops). She keeps teasing me about writing thank you letters to my ob/gyn, 'cause I can't end up with a kid like hers. I can see how that would petrify some Sisters, but she and I are right on the same page about it.

If people are doing things that are painful for you (showing baby pictures), don't just tough it out - get up and leave - tell them that you're still very upset about not being able to have a child of your own, and find it hard to hear about kids just now, then excuse yourself. That should get through even the thickest skulls.
Unread 04-10-2001, 03:00 PM
Nicely Said HorseWoman

I think your idea of how to deal with other persons' lack of empathy is a good option for those who are coping with childlessness. Ladylike... and gets the idea across without looking like a total witch. Might spare another woman in the same shoes the same pain in the future.

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