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Kids to help or not?? Kids to help or not??

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Unread 12-15-2005, 01:48 PM
Kids to help or not??

I am scheduled for a TVH on 1-12-06, with the possiblity of a TAH. I am a single mom and although my kids are 13(daughter) and 18(son) I am concerned that I will have personal needs that they shouldn't assist me with. I am wondering what types of problems I could encounter that I wouldn't want my kids to assist me with so that I can be prepared. I am very excited but also very nervous as well. My mother will be there to help as well but she takes care of my father as well so I am trying to be a self sufficient as possible post-op.
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Unread 12-15-2005, 02:03 PM
Kids to help or not??

You may want to have mom or daughter on "stand-by" for first shower or two in case you get dizzy and need to prop on them--or just in case you slip--but I can't think of anything else right at the moment. Best of luck.
Unread 12-15-2005, 02:15 PM
Kids to help or not??

I haven't had my hyst yet but did have liver surgery a year and a half ago and did not need any help with my personal care, as long as you don't mind hairy legs. km_wish is right though, do have someone on stand-by for the first shower. I know my first couple of showers were very short and I went straight to bed after getting out. After I rested I finished drying and getting dressed. Oh, also you will need a shoe tier or wear slip ons

Best of luck to you
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Unread 12-15-2005, 02:19 PM
Kids to help or not??

I am really worried that it will be too much for my mom to take care of me because she also has to take care of my father who is not well and requires alot of assistance. My kids are wonderful anytime I am in need but they are both gone during the day so it will be left up to my mom to handle mine and my fathers needs. God knows she is an angel but I am sure that even angels get tired and stressed when too much is placed upon them. It is the uncertaintity that worries me but this website has been a tremendous help!
Unread 12-15-2005, 02:29 PM
Kids to help or not??

I stocked up on frozen dinners (done that single mom/surgery thing before), bought milk in half-gallons so I could lift it if necessary, got some cup noodle soup for munchies, and basically went for whatever I figured would be the easiest route. The surgery when I was a single mom was an emergency so I'd been totally unprepared, but the kids still managed... it just wasn't quite as smooth as this time. When I did my pre-op shopping I prepared as if I were about to get the flu... stocked up on TP, easy food--what would I feel like doing if I had the flu. It turned out ok.
Unread 12-15-2005, 03:07 PM
Kids to help or not??

To me the only time that I loved having my mom there to help me out and was glad that it was her was when I couldn't wear pants due to the cath. I hated my mom seeing my tushy. But there are things that just happen sometimes. I just kind of went with it. Thank god she was there to help me get in and out of bed. DH worked early in the am til about noon when I had my hyst. Prepare as much as you can before hyst. You will be thankful you did it. Also try and have baby wipes for quick touch ups. I had these due to small kids, but they helped. Also stretchy pants and warm socks.
Unread 12-15-2005, 03:12 PM
Kids to help or not??

I had a TAH and there really wasn't too much that I couldn't do personally for myself. I have 2 dd's ages 9 and 13 (tomorrow, dear god I have a teenager!!). My DH was home with me when I took my first shower here just in case I needed him, I didn't.

My girls were able to get my meds for me, get me something to drink. They helped me out of the chair or bed and made me light meals and snacks. They were great.

Aside from that, there was really nothing else for them to do for me. You will be fine.

Best of Luck to you, I know this is a trying time,but the waiting and the worrying is the hardest part. Soon it will be over and you will just need to take care of you and recover!!!
Unread 12-15-2005, 04:08 PM
Kids to help or not??

For my shower, I borrowed a shower chair. It really helped and I could shower without someone standing watching. Good luck!!
Unread 12-15-2005, 04:35 PM
Kids to help or not??

Hi, my hyst was 9 days ago. I have 2 DSs ages 12 and 13. So far the only help I have needed was to get in/out of bed/chair/couch. Other than that I did the shower thing by myself. I mean I took 3 showers in the hospital by myself so I felt comfortable taking a shower with no help. The boys also help with foods/meals. I did just what Km-Wish-Star said....bought easy microwaveable foods, fast easy stuff!

Good luck hun and you will be in my prayers!
Unread 12-15-2005, 05:47 PM
Kids to help or not??

I do not have any children but I can tell you that I had to help my mom when she broke her ankle in 7 places. At the same time my father was terminal. Both at home, both confinded to thier bedsm my father could not even go to the bathroom. I am an only child and I had to do everything and I can honestly say there is nothing that I would not have done for either of them. Nothing made me uncomfortable, in fact I took it as great relife that I could help them. I so wanted to make them as comfortable as possible.
That was almost 5 years ago and it is one of my most precious memories and what I consider to be one of God's greates gifts to me.
The hardest part is you letting them help you. Ask them what they feel comfortable with doing. They will tell you what makes them uncomfortable.
I suspect that the three of you are close and very thoughtful. Give them a chance, it may also help your Mom to know how well you will be taken care of. My heart goes out to her, I know how tough it is. My heart also goes out to you, I had work out of town until my mother broke her ankel, she was at home taking care of my father who was not an easy person to take care of.
You and your whole family will be in my thoughts and prayers.

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