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Violent 13 year old son - help? Violent 13 year old son - help?

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Unread 12-16-2005, 11:06 PM
Violent 13 year old son - help?

Ladies I need help,
I have a ADHD 13 year old that I honestly think is Bi-Polar. Anyways tonight out of the clear blue as younger DS was watching TV the Tee came in my room picked up a nick-nack and threw it at Ant...hitting Ant in the face cutting right above eye brow. Ant is ok it is just a little cut but I am so mad. Tee gets like this sometimes. It is like he goes crazy. I grabbed Ant and stopped the bleeding, told Tee to stay away from me I was too mad to see him right then. I grabbed the phone and asked my dad (who lives next door) to come over and take control of Tee that I had to deal with Ants face. Dad came over and Tee went to swinging his arms (not sure if he was trying to hit my dad or what) so dad grabbed Tee and held him down (dad is excop). Tee finally calmed down after cussing us all like dogs. Dad was so worried about me hurting myself, I was ok but I did jump out of my computer chair so fast. Anyway dad called a police buddy of his since neither one of us could get in touch with Tees therapist. They came out to my dads house, well apparently Tee saw the cops pull over there to dads and took off. I heard the cop and my dad walking next to my window so I got up to see what was up and Tee was gone! Police wrote a report and asked if I wanted a Dog to come out to search for Tee. I told him no that once heleft adn saw the police was gone he would return. It has been an hour and no sign of Tee...I am loosing my mind.
I am scared of Tee coming home and going off and am upset bcuz I have no clue where my son is.
Can somebody give me tips on what to do? Has anyone else gone through this? It is Christmas, just had surgery, need his help and here he is acting the fool. I need a pill of some kind....I need some stress relief!!!!
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Unread 12-16-2005, 11:28 PM
Violent 13 year old son - help?

With my years of experience as a mom and as a public school teacher, I would suggest taking your son for diagnostic testing including drugs. Children that come out of the blue with violence are generally motivated by other sources. Your younger child is depending on you to protect her. Do what is needed to make sure she is safe.
Unread 12-16-2005, 11:28 PM
Violent 13 year old son - help?

Have you talked to his therapist about these types of behaviors?

My DD is bipolar. She is only 5 though, so I haven't gone through what you are right now. My thoughts are with you.

In my area there are some organizations that will make house calls to help with these type situations. They have therapist and sometimes psycologist on staff that even come to the house. I have had some students in my classes have to have these type visits.
With your dad being a ex-police officer, he might know of somewhere that could help you.

I hope that by the time you read this he has calmed down and come home. Good luck!
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Unread 12-17-2005, 12:58 AM
Violent 13 year old son - help?

Thank you all for the help and ideas. Tee has a Therapist that sees him 2x a week, at school and here at the house! And he is on meds. The problem is the (ok watch my mouth) DR will not listen to me and wont up his meds even though he is on the lowest dose possible! He has been on meds before that was great but bcuz he out grew them, they changed to new meds. He simply needs a higher dose! Unfortunetly the judge here (he has been in juvinile court) ordered him to go to this DR, which no one in the county/city likes!
The police are on their way here right now to do a search for him, Tee still isnt home and it has been 3 hours. He has no friends close by to go hang out with so I am afraid he is in the woods hidding. It is freezing here in the low 30s and he wasnt dressed for cold weather after all we were inside when all this happened.
I am so scared right now!!!!!! Please pray that we find him, safe!
Unread 12-17-2005, 01:03 AM
Violent 13 year old son - help?

PLEASE, do let the dogs search. This is what we train them for and they can find him faster than humans. Search team members are on call 24/7 with pagers and have gear and first aid ready at all times. This is what we do! The dogs do not bite. They think finding somebody is a big treat and it just makes them wag their whole body. A well trained dog also does not touch the "find"-- just alerts so the people know where the person is. As the temp gets lower it will make the scenting get harder... also as the scent gets older... so the sooner the dog or dogs are on it the better. The rescue person should have emergency food, blankets etc. in their vehicle. Praying for you sweetie!
Unread 12-17-2005, 01:12 AM
Violent 13 year old son - help?

Dear ((hildago2005)),
From my own experience dealing with violence displayed from children (just my 2 cents, not medical opinion) I would very much agree with ((Kathy)) who alluded to the fact that children are often motivated by something when they display violence towards others. It is your place to protect your other child and yourself. If it was me, I would call this child's therapist using the emergency contact number and alert him/her to the situation. Esp. since he is already involved in the juv. justice system. Some times, when children act out to this extent they are trying to make a point in a very misdirected manner, but it should be really paid attention to as things can esculate. I feel that maybe these recent actions if they are reported will alert his doctor to his growing emotional needs. Please contact his therapist if you haven't all ready as they really need to be the go-between and can act in your son's best interest. (again, just my humble opinion, in this situation). You may also think about asking the therapist to contact his doctor him or herself to report this incident if it has not already been done since this situation seems to have gotten out of control. Hang in there.
Unread 12-17-2005, 01:14 AM
Violent 13 year old son - help?

Thank you....Kate!!!!
I guess the cops here want to try to find him on their own first, if that doesnt work then they (i guess) will call in the dogs! I hope they do it soon. I remember Tee was using a personal size scoop bottle earlier today, nobody but him has touched it!!!
Maybe that will work!!!
Unread 12-17-2005, 01:47 AM
Violent 13 year old son - help?

Oh Lord...I just got news that we have no search dogs in our area for such help!!! Now what? They have 5 police cars with 2 police in each car looking for him. No luck so far! I am loosing it...where is my baby!
Unread 12-17-2005, 02:19 AM
Violent 13 year old son - help?

DH is working on this through National Search & Rescue affiliates and other SAR groups... some areas overlap. Sometimes the local law enforcement doesn't know how many resources are really available. Wish we had a helicopter. About 10 dog teams here that would love to come!
Hang in there!
Unread 12-17-2005, 02:56 AM
Violent 13 year old son - help?

Susan, we are all thinking about you and hopeing/praying that Tee comes home safe. Hugs to you and your family. Kay


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