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Just dont understand people Just dont understand people

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Unread 12-18-2005, 03:31 PM
Just dont understand people

I am so frustrated with my family I am almost 3 weeks post op from a tah/bso and they think I have had a tooth pulled, My sister makes remarkes like you are still in your nightgown stop being a baby and get over it already. We were at a birthday party last night and she just kept it up intill I pulled my pants down and said take a look at this scar. I was holding back tears allnight right now I am not talking to her or my brother just am tired of it. Yes I am taking it easy is it such a crime not ounce have they said do you need anything or do you need help putting up the tree, pretty sad but just getting tired of it and just going to take care of me the hell with the rest, sorry just had to vent.
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Unread 12-18-2005, 03:39 PM
Just dont understand people


I am sorry they are not more sympathetic and helpful to you now that you had your surgery. You do what you need to do to heal properly and not worry what they think. We are here for you. We understand and have been through surgery and recovery so you are in a good place with those that understand.

Sending lot's of s your way.

Unread 12-18-2005, 03:41 PM
Just dont understand people

Sweetheart, please go in your house, lock the door, don't answer the phone, and if anyone intrudes on your kingdom and dares to interrupt your recovery... just give them the "I'm sorry you are so stupid" look as you go back to bed, shutting the door behind you. Rude, yes... but you only get one chance to heal properly and we're all here rooting for you.

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Unread 12-18-2005, 03:42 PM
Just dont understand people

I do not know why, but I have found that few people understand this operation. Is it because it has been a historically "taboo" subject? I think you need to show your sister this site and some of the articles on it, quietly over a cup of tea/coffee/diet cola... and talk.
Unread 12-18-2005, 03:43 PM
Just dont understand people

Hi fuzzy12!

I had the same type of surgery as you did, and I'm so sorry to hear that you are stressed and upset because some of the people in your life are misinformed about what our type of surgery entails, in terms of recovery. You could advise them to view graphic photos of the type of surgery you had in the Image Gallery on www.pelvicfloor.com, if their stomach can tolerate it. You could suggest they telephone your doctor if they disagree with the post-surgical limitations he/she ordered you to follow. Or, you can ignore their comments and try to let them pass over your head.

I hope that better days are ahead for you. Take good care of yourself!

Many s to you,
Unread 12-18-2005, 03:46 PM
Just dont understand people

Hey, show them this very thread!!!!
Unread 12-18-2005, 03:50 PM
Just dont understand people

DH (a first responder) says this surgery is much more akin to a major car accident than some people seem to realize...it's just done in a controlled environment. Sometimes the people look quite ok outside, but internally, the trauma requires lots of rest and recovery. Maybe that's why he gets along so well with my doc.
s to all you dear princesses! You are SO worth the investment in your recovery!
Unread 12-18-2005, 04:37 PM
Just dont understand people

I know it is frustrating having people in your life that do not understand the extent of our surgeries. I think they think that we are superwoman or something. Well, no matter what they think, I am taking care of myself and healing right. You need to do the same. I know it is hard when its your family, but you would rather heal right then prove to them that it could be dangreous if you don't do what your supposed to do! GOOD LUCK AND I AM THINKING OF YOU!
Unread 12-18-2005, 04:52 PM
Just dont understand people

My friends and family are the same. You just do the best you can. I have made it to almost 5 weeks. I came home from the hospital the day after my surgery and for 2 days I was alone in my bed. My DH, the D doesn't stand for Darling, went to work. 8-6pm, my first 2 days. My mother said when she had her Hyst, 25 years ago, she was up and looking great and visiting her boyfriend at 2 weeks and why am I taking so long. A friend came to visit on day 3 and said "I can't beleive you are laying around like that, i would be up cleaning the messy house. After my c-section I was up doing everything right away." I was expected to take care of my 2 kids after school and on Sunday and I got upset with my husband and I would just do the best I could. My mother has not even come to see me and went to Las Vegas for Thanksgiving instead. I could have really used her help. Sometimes I just shut the door and turn the phone ring off. It is different for everyone, Sisters often write what a gem their dh is and it isn't always like that. Hang in there, you know what is true and take care of yourself as best as you can.
Unread 12-18-2005, 05:01 PM
Just dont understand people

I figure it like this. The uterus and ovaries and fallopian tubes (they took 'em all out of me) were once upon a time attached to something and something was attached to them (aside from each other, that is). There's this huge 10" - 12" slice cut across me. Then inside, not only did the vaginia get tacked closed at the top. Also all those previously attached peripherals are now attached to something else. Re that reference to the auto accident. If someone had multiple lacerations and massive bruising on the outside, as a result of an accident, nobody would be harassing them to quit being a baby. Everything done to us is hidden, under our clothes and inside. So it's not there? Good grief, give me a break! I'm sitting here, hurting and typing, watching the clock and counting down the minutes so that I will be able to take my next pain medication. I have been so fortunate, for the most part, with people not pressing me (not yet anyway), though I'm only six days out from my TAH BSO.

Fuzzy12, hang in there, and keep using your sisters for support.

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