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How do I ask for help???? How do I ask for help????

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Unread 12-18-2005, 09:38 PM
How do I ask for help????

I am waiting to hear when my hyster will be scheduled. (hopefully in January). I have a wonderful fiance and 2 great kids, but I am a very independant person. I have had surgeries in the past and dealt with them on my own. I plan on cleaning my house from top to bottom when I get close to my surgery date so there won't be anything to really worry about. I have been reading alot of the stories here and am concerned about what to expect when I get home. I told my fiance he only needed to take off work on the day I have the surgery. My best friend has offered to come over during the day and clean up for me and just be there if I need someone. However she has a 2 year old and a 10 month old and I feel like I would be putting her out if I took her up on her offer. I am one of those people who will help any body that needs it, but feel guilty about asking others for help.
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Unread 12-18-2005, 10:33 PM
How do I ask for help????

I have had surgeries in the past.
You may feel like you are asking too much when you ask for help but put yourself in their shoes. You would be hurt if someone didn't ask for help.
Most friends and family want you to ask for help. They feel like they are invading by offering help.. so ask!
You and your friends will be glad you did.

Best wishes,

Unread 12-19-2005, 04:27 AM
How do I ask for help????

I've had surgeries before too, and you do need to have help, especially with the kids. Its very distressing for them to see their mom hurting, so if anyone can come and hang out with them if they are young, play some games and such. I was content not to have someone there all the time as long as the phone was handy, but you need someone to get drinks and food, and help you to the bathroom for a few days. I hate asking for help! My hubby can't take too much time off, we can't afford it, if you BF is willing to make dinner, and can call and check on you, maybey leave something in the fridge or light snacks by your bed he won't feel helpless. Men are strange!! They worry about us more then we think, he might want to be with you so make sure you ask.
Set a time when you think you really might need your friend to help, like mid morning or early afternoon. She obviously wants to help so let her and don't feel bad about it, thats what friends do for each other.
Prayers for you for speedy healthy recovery,
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Unread 12-19-2005, 05:37 AM
How do I ask for help????

Thank you ladies. I can be a little stubborn and too independant at times. Maybe I just need to swallow my pride and realize that I will need some help. You guys are awesome.
Unread 12-19-2005, 04:49 PM
How do I ask for help????

I had a great support system and my parents and DH and brother just sorta took over, which was great. They did everything from handling the kids, to making dinners. Then when I got some of dependency back and could move around a little more, I think I hurt my dad's feelings and my BF b/c I didn't ask for them to come cook me lunch. I, too, am very independent, so I was very worried about asking people for help. But it all worked out, and it helped that my DH was there when the dr gave the orders on what I could and could not do. I hope it all works out, I know how hard it is to give up just a little bit of independence.

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