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family not getting it?? family not getting it??

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Unread 12-20-2005, 07:52 AM
family not getting it??

Hello Ladies,
Am I the only women in the whole world who has a family that is not getting this surgery thing? I have a wonderful husband and three great teen age kids but they just seem to think this is going to be a walk in the park for me. I am having a TAH/BSO and they think I will be running them to soccer, the mall and where every the next week. How can I make them see it is big stuff and I am not faking??? Help my sugery is coming up quick.
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Unread 12-20-2005, 08:14 AM
family not getting it??

Hi grandblanclady'

With all the "day surgeries" these days, people tend to think that just about anything can be taken care of in 24 hours and you will be "good to go" and back to normal withing 72 hours.

This is what I did, and it did get the point across.
I copied all the stages of Hysterectomy Checkpoints and sat my family down, gave each a copy, and we read through them together. Then, I posted them on the refrigerator door for reference during my recovery. I informed them, that if I did not follow these guidelines that it would actually take me longer to recover. I also gave copies to my well-meaning friends who wanted to get me out of the house for something to do.

You can also take DH into the Dr's office with you before your surgery and let the Dr explain it to him. Although before I checked out of the hospital, my DH got a lecture from a nurse and my Dr. So, if he is still not "getting it" before you check out, make sure everyone knows it - the Dr's and nurses are only too happy to correct his thinking.

Unread 12-20-2005, 09:00 AM
family not getting it??

Good morning
I also showed my DH the (VERY) graphic photos on

You may need to do that. I read on other threads that ladies have had their dr's actually write out their restrictions.

When I left the hospital, the nurses 'reminded' my DH about my restrictions, showed him where they were in the little booklet they had given me about my surgery and them reminded him a little more. They were great!

Best of luck to you

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Unread 12-20-2005, 09:01 AM
family not getting it??

When they see you post-op maybe it'll hit them then. Maybe have your dr come in the room post op and give you your orders in front of them.

Hope they come around
Unread 12-20-2005, 09:41 AM
family not getting it??

Make sure your hubby goes with you! The docs have a way of getting their point acrossed, especially if you have let them know your concerned about family not understanding. I felt kind of silly at my last pre op for other issues, the doc reaming my husband out, in a kind way. He was embarrassed a little but it worked wonders!
Best wishes
Unread 12-20-2005, 05:10 PM
family not getting it??

Mine really surprise me in post-op the day of surgery. I have a 19 year old and a 15 year old. I sat each of them down about a week or so before and went over the risks involved and exactly what would be done. I did it in a matter of fact way and was not dramatic in any way about it because I did not want to upset them but wanted them to know what I could do and could not do. The day of surgery they both sat in the room and cried! I was so shocked. I had no idea they were so worried. It really took me by surprise and after I got home how protective they were of me. Yours may be thinking more that you think and might surprise you.
Unread 12-20-2005, 07:04 PM
family not getting it??

In addition to all the other great advice that our other sisters have given you I would add to be very honest with your family about what you are feeling and what you need. Resist the urge to think that they should be able to know what you are feeling and read your mind... trust me this does not work... but if you open up to them, and educate them about what you are going through, that will help the situation.

Good luck and remember we are here for you... OK?
Unread 12-20-2005, 07:41 PM
family not getting it??

I'm lucky that my DH is so supportive, it's my sisters and friends who are giving me grief. As if I'm incapable of researching and trying all other options...because I haven't been complaining to them and sharing with them my 'journey of pain' the last 11 years, they think I'm jumping into this...just 'doing what the man in the white coat tells me'. Phaleez!!
Unread 12-21-2005, 11:02 AM
family not getting it??

Originally Posted by FBX
I'm lucky that my DH is so supportive, it's my sisters and friends who are giving me grief. As if I'm incapable of researching and trying all other options...because I haven't been complaining to them and sharing with them my 'journey of pain' the last 11 years, they think I'm jumping into this...just 'doing what the man in the white coat tells me'. Phaleez!!
I hear ya! Isn't that sickening?!
Um, this is natural medicine. I would naturally want to remove anything that was causing me this much pain and suffering from my body. I half expect them to pull an angry badger out of my abdomen when they do my surgery because it feels like one is trying to claw it's way out of my belly.

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