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What to do when your Boss doesn't understand???? What to do when your Boss doesn't understand????

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Unread 12-28-2005, 05:26 PM
What to do when your Boss doesn't understand????

I can totally relate to your dilema. I work with my dad who is 83, hes right on the ball, can make payments and endorsements on the pc with me with him or on the phone(swearing under my breath). He does all the banking, post office and will answer the phone, but has become very dependent on me. 90% of our business is on line, or computer related, applying payments and such are crucial. He is very afraid for me, I found out today I will have a TAH. I am okay with it, I spend days or weeks on the couch or in bed, in pain and miserable, 6-8 weeks of taking it easy will be a breeze if the outcome is the best I can make it. I told him there will be at least 5-7 days where I might not be able to do much. I live next door to our office (his house) so he can come up at night for the first couple of weeks and bring me the stuff he can't do, but it is going to be very challenging. I am also his daily companion and will miss not being with him. I could have my DH drop me off there in the morning, but I wouldn't be as comfortable, and the phone ringing will drive me nuts, and he would expect too much of me too.
Please let your boss know that you are as distressed as he is about the work situation, but if you don't get the rest and recovery time that you need, you might not be back at all. So many things can happen if you push yourself too hard. Set a time when you can check in with him, let him know he can't call whenever he wants. If your feeling up to it after 2 weeks, he can drop some stuff off to you at home and you will do your best to take care of it.
Please put yourself first! As all the sisters will tell you, you only get one chance to heal right.
Please let me know how things turn out, and what your plan will be
prayers for you,
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Unread 12-28-2005, 09:28 PM
What to do when your Boss doesn't understand????

Originally Posted by drmerritt
My LAVH is scheduled for January 3rd and I have advised my boss of 20 years that I will be off the month of January. I do most everything in our small office including accounting, all office work, payroll, etc. etc. etc. (my boss only knows how to get on AOL and get his email...anything else on the computer is "greek" to him). He is panicking and I am panicking. I know there are some things I can do from home. Any ideas on how long it will be before I will feel like tackling a few computer jobs at home???

To top it all off, my boss just does not understand that this is major surgery and continues to ask me to give him a definate time frame of how long I will be off work...this makes me feel guilty!

Any ideas on how I make him understand that I will be back when I get back???

Don't let him make you feel guilty Dawn. It is HIS problem to figure out, not yours. He, as an employer should be ready for these types of situations. It's reality. It's a "management" thing.
Unread 12-29-2005, 06:36 AM
What to do when your Boss doesn't understand????

I am sorry to hear of your situation. I have not even been scheduled yet for my procedure and have let the boss know of my situation. I get the same questions, how long will I be out. I too am the only person who can do my job. I have learned from passed employers that things will wait and he could get the necessary things done for day to day items. Take your time in your recovery and rest! When and if you are feeling up to it slowly ease back into your position. Life will go on without you in the office. It may not be as good as you do it, but it will get done. This time should be for you, not your job. Your health is more important than any job!!!

From someone who has been there!

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Unread 12-29-2005, 07:57 AM
What to do when your Boss doesn't understand????

Not to throw problems in with this thread, but is it just me that is so out of the loop these days when it comes to a leave of absence? When I was on leave, I was "on leave". I was paid a portion of my salary as a person on leave of absence. If I were to do work at home, It changed my leave status to a part time worker no longer on leave, which also changed my benefits. Sort of like when a person gets laid off from work. I know we are suppose to be here for kind support, but I wonder if Dawn doing any work at home will cause issues with her leave pay or leave time? Though her surgery is coming up, this is something I would look into. I am thinking positive thoughts for you Dawn that your employer will take the controls and give you a couple days to think about other issues, like enjoying family and friends as the New Year rings in. :-)
Unread 12-29-2005, 10:34 AM
What to do when your Boss doesn't understand????

Dawn- Tell him to call me, you have the number!!!! Once you are away from work it will actually be easier to ignore him. And seriously, I can call and talk to him if you want.
Unread 12-29-2005, 02:09 PM
What to do when your Boss doesn't understand????

Liz, you are right. If you do any work AT ALL, it changes your status. My company is large enough that I am eligible for FMLA but my division and department are small enough that there is NO ONE who knows my job including my supervisor. I have filled out the paperwork and will be receiving disability pay once my sick time and vacation time runs out. My company has an insurance company for this and if I do any kind of work my status would change and they would not pay me. I have already told my supervisor that I will not be jepordizing my health by stressing about my position and I will not answer the phone if I see someone from work calling me. I will be training one of our phone reps to do my position and then trusting in her abilities and God's Grace that everything will be fine.
Unread 12-29-2005, 02:48 PM
What to do when your Boss doesn't understand????

I can totally relate. When I told my boss (who is an attorney, I'm his assistant) that I was going to be off for 4 -6 weeks, I thought he was going to faint. Immediately we started planning on updating my computer at home so that I could do work there (which didn't work out). He is bound and determined that I will be back to work after 2 weeks, has even offered to pick me up if I can't drive yet. I just let him believe that I will be back then. I think it was the initial "shock", he seems a little better now.
We need to focus on ourselves and our health and recovery and but our work worries behind us.
Best wishes to you Dawn.
Unread 12-29-2005, 11:42 PM
What to do when your Boss doesn't understand????

I too am in the same situation. Been doing my job for 21 years & there is soooooo much that I do that no-one else does. I have been training for a month & a half. My plan is to be out of it for 2 weeks, then work part time from home for remainder. I have my preop next week, so I will see what restrictions there will be. Bottom line is you will do what you need to do...if you need to work part time then do what you think is best for your situation. Good luck to you !
Unread 12-30-2005, 01:04 AM
What to do when your Boss doesn't understand????

I understand your job worries. I am new to the site with my surgery date scheduled for 1/9/06. I am trying to hand off some things too, but several responsibilities it is difficult to as a lot of things I am the only one that does them. I am a supervisor not only working my job, but covering another position as well. I've been at this company for almost 22 years and I too can do some things from home, but I'm not sure just when I will feel up to it. I am currently trying to get everything taken care of so there will not be too many problems the first two weeks. My pre-op is next week so I will know more then I suppose. I know my health comes first and have people offering to help so I am going to take them up on some of it and try to handle some from home or direct it to someone while I'm off. I'm curious too, as to what I can do from home and feel up to doing so!
Unread 12-30-2005, 02:54 AM
What to do when your Boss doesn't understand????

You must remember, the job will always be there and even if it isn't there are other jobs. But, you only have 1 life and only 1 chance to heal properly. I am 3 weeks post-op today of TAH-BSO and because I have moments where I think I am fine or feeling fine, I do too much and then pay the price that night and sometimes into the next day. I just got an email as a 3-4 weeks checkpoint from hystersisters site and it was very informative and it put me back into reality. There are many stitches inside and you DO NOT WANT TO DISTURB your healing. I had grand illusion of picking up our new fish tank in the next couple days and I would work on it while my husband is out of town to meet our daughter and drive back from FLA. After I read the email from hystersisters, I thought to myself, I must be nuts. I shouldn't be lifting that with DH right now. It's a 75 gallon tank, glass and empty. Not sure what that weighs, but before my surgery I lifted stuff all the time. Heavy stuff. They are strict about not lifting.

Plus, we just picked up today our new 10 week old, 15 pound Doberman Pinscher puppy, that I will be lifting and I shouldn't. He will learn steps ....fast.

I am a classic case for someone that would be prone to damage my healing progress because when I start to feel good, I hurt myself.

When you think about the size of the surgery and what is done, 6-8 weeks allowance for healing is not a long period of time.

When and if you go back to the office, you will tire quickly and may forget how recent your surgery was. I am already having moments where I sometimes forget because pain is not knocking that moment, I do something and hurt later that night.

Clearly, worry about you and your healing. As much as I am a control freak about my job, I am not going back for the very reason that I know myself well, and I also do not feel ready. I will go back...when I am ready.

You should too. 3 weeks is to soon.

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