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Need to Vent!! Need to Vent!!

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  #1  
Unread 12-29-2005, 11:13 PM
Need to Vent!!

Hi All!!
Please bear with me but I need to scream, cry, rant and rage for a bit!! I finally told my Mother tonight about my upcoming hysterectomy. She took it quite well considering. But she is wanting to try and come up here from Alabama to "help" my DH for a few days after I get home. The problem? They don't really get along!!! Plus my son is here right now and is going to be here for the surgery. The problem? Him and his Dad don't really get along. I am really considering moving into a motel room till I am better!!!!! If not, someone is going to get shot and I will tell the cops I did it!!!!! Would really rather not have anyone around except DH and the cats and dog!!!! Of course, I can't tell any of them how I feel as it would really hurt Mom's feelings and DH would get mad at her. He is already ready to bean our son. They have never gotten along since DS was 5 and could say NO and go his own way. I am so bloddy (Sorry!) tired of playing referee around here. Can I come live with some for a few days? There that has helped so will close.
AdriaL
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  #2  
Unread 12-29-2005, 11:36 PM
Need to Vent!!

Could son go stay with gma?
  #3  
Unread 12-30-2005, 12:03 AM
Need to Vent!!

I know how you feel I have not told my mom yet because I don't want her to come to my house to help out. My hubby is very helpful but my mom will drive me crazy. Wishing you all the best with your upcoming surgery, make sure you make time for yourself before, and take care of yourself after your surgery so you can recover well. Good Luck Princess to be.
kathy
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  #4  
Unread 12-30-2005, 12:24 AM
Need to Vent!!

You will be fine.....believe that....and in yourself. My mother wanted to come up to WI from Florida. I told her I would call her every day and"check in". I have done that and things are fine. Good luck with your surgery....I will keep you in my prayers!!!! Michelle
  #5  
Unread 12-30-2005, 04:44 AM
Need to Vent!!

AdriaL,

I will be thinking of you. My husband and mom don't get along too well either. Yet, I had told her, I would need her with me at the hospital. I don't mean for this to sound insensitive, because I don't mean it that way. At least your mom wants to come up and help. My mom had the attitude that I'll be just fine and has even told me "to get over it". Of all the times, this was the time I really truly needed her here. She only lives about 2 1/2 hours away and couldn't/wouldn't even come up for the surgery.

My dad (they are divorced) asked me if she was coming up. I flat out told him, I would believe it when I saw the green of her eyes. See we went through this drama of her coming, then not coming, and then coming, etc. He told me I needed to change my attitude towards her. (I hadn't said anything to my mom like that, just to him) When my dad came to see me in the hospital, he didn't say a word. I think I proved to him, I was right. Sheesh, even my in-laws drove up to see us in the hospital. And they live about 30 minutes away from my mom.

Sorry, I guess I needed to vent a little myself. I really will be thinking about you though.

Keri
  #6  
Unread 12-30-2005, 04:49 AM
Need to Vent!!

Hi, AdriaL!
Oh, I do understand...My husband and I have been married for 25 years. If I had it to do over again, I would've told those in my family that have caused me so much stress over the years, that I cannot deal with them and my husband in the same house. Believe me, my husband is not the problem. If they can't be civil, stay away.
I had a similar situation before my surgery. My husband planned to handle everything (taking care of me, the house, etc.) It's been just the two of us for 25 years, so we pretty much know what the other thinks, needs, etc. At the last minute, my parents decided to come. Suddenly, I was more afraid of what might come from their visit than surgery! They stayed in a hotel while I was in the hospital, then returned home the day I was discharged. I just had to tell them that I would be more comfortable at home alone. No visitors. That may sound harsh, but there were confrontations in my hospital room (again, NOT my husband's fault) amongst these "loved ones" and I was just about ready to snap. There was NO WAY I could heal successfully at home with added stress.
I don't know about you, but I say we put those that can't get along in a locked room together and let them duke it out!
I'm sure all will go fine. Best wishes.
  #7  
Unread 12-30-2005, 05:20 AM
Need to Vent!!

I get full of anxiety when the inlaws are coming to visit. My MIL is great with the kids, but is the oldest of 12 and lives on a mountain 3 hours away. She doesn't really like people in general, never comes for birthday parties or holidays if we are having people over. I haven't told her about my situation yet because she will play it down as no big deal, and that will irritate me. MY DH's dad and step mom live just miles away but we never see them, and they would do the same. My sister lives next door, but has her own issues with chrons, and can't understand why I have so many female problems when she and my other sister don't. They didn't have 2 10lb babies and multiple miscarriages either. My mom has passed, and my dad and I are very close and hes really worried. Hes 83 so I don't want him stressed, he said I was too head strong to let it get me down for long. I blushed when I told him about my uterus issues, lol, he said he had done some reading on it and will make sure I'm taking care of myself.
I've had some offers of help, mostly from my awesome nieces and nephews. We are close in age and spend a lot of time together. They have young kids and have offered to do some things with mine which is my biggest concern. The rest of the family can stay away!!!!
If you do end up with them all in the house, escape to your room for long naps and let them duke it out. I'm sorry your husband will have to take the brunt of it though, I would hate to burden mine with more stress when I know hes worried enough already.
Hope everything goes well, and you have a speedy healthy recovery.
Donna
  #8  
Unread 12-30-2005, 05:55 AM
Need to Vent!!

your situations on here are exactly why I kept my mouth shut. I only told my mom and dh's little bro. The rest of the family was in the dark about the whole thing til I was home and healing. I know that isn't perfect for everyone, but it was what's best for me. I hope that you can all come to some kind of compramise and work things out so you can recover in peace and quiet. Love all Dawn
  #9  
Unread 12-30-2005, 06:41 AM
Need to Vent!!

Well, luckily my dm and my dh get along well, so that is not a worry for me........However, I have had to deal with my father-in-law.......See, when my husband and I got together, I was a single Mom, and he had no children, and since we have been married, my husband adopted my daughter (which is wonderful, he has been with us since she was 10 months old) (he even gave her a ring at our wedding), but the father-in-law gave me a little bit of a hard time because he wants more boys to carry on his family name.......Um, I'm sorry, but my health is more important to me than worrying about his family name!!!! Besides, he has a grandson, so he can just deal with it!!!! I hate being blunt, but that really hurt my feelings, cuz he also made a comment one time that having only one child isn't really being a parent because he's paid his dues (basically) and he thinks everyone else should do the same!!!! Bite me!!!! (he-he) I love my dd with all of my heart, and I think I do pretty darn well as a parent!!!! Heck, I can't even tell you that I have any hobbies, except my child!!!!!
Ok, guess you got me to vent to!!!!!! I am sure your family would keep there selfs straight enough, knowing what you are going through!!!!! I will be thinking about ya!!!!!!
  #10  
Unread 12-30-2005, 06:51 AM
Need to Vent!!

Hey this is YOUR time, try warning her about ALL the hormone problems (slight embroidary helps, 2-headed monster etc)also <oops! please don't try to override the website censor> works in that ur team reccomend u should only be with a very limited amount a carers. Also explain that u understand her needs and wil religiously keep her updated, it will be fine, Alex xxx
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