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Did you let your child come to the hospital the day of?? Did you let your child come to the hospital the day of??

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Unread 01-03-2006, 08:17 AM
Did you let your child come to the hospital the day of??

Right now I am torn...my daughter wants to be there the day of my surgery she is 14 and has special needs. I will be in for 5 1/2 hours. We are concerned about her emotional stress during that time.

I don't think she should go to school. It would be a waste of time. I was wondering if she should stay home and come to the hospital after it is over.

Any thoughts or experiences?
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Unread 01-03-2006, 08:41 AM
Did you let your child come to the hospital the day of??

My dh brought my kids ( 12 and 9) for a very brief time to see me that nite. Mind you I had surgery at 8:30 a.m, and they saw me after dinner. So, I wasn't that bad. All I wanted to do though was sleep, so the visit was very short.
Unread 01-03-2006, 08:49 AM
Did you let your child come to the hospital the day of??

My Dh also brought my children up to the hospital in the afternoon after my surgery. My 17 year old daughter wanted to come and stay while I was in surgery. I said no not knowing how long it would take. What I did do is ask all of the children to do a few things around the house that I did not get to. I asked my 17 year old to change my bed and pillows. I told her that would be a great help and knowing she was getting my bed ready for me made her feel a little special. Maybe your dh can ask her to make a special card for mom while you are gone or somethng to do to make her feel like being home is important. That she is helping getting things ready for you. Good luck. Robin
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Unread 01-03-2006, 08:51 AM
Did you let your child come to the hospital the day of??

My dd is 8, and she will be staying at my parents the day of surgery and the day after.....She would like to be there, but I am affraid it will scare her........She had a terrible bout with the flu a few years back and was in the hospital for it, and that was terrible for her (and me and my husband) So, I think it is better for her NOT to be there.....I feel bad saying that, cuz I know I would love to see her too after the surgery, but better I get the rest I guess!!!!
Unread 01-03-2006, 09:13 AM
Did you let your child come to the hospital the day of??

My kids were 10 and 12 at the time of my surgery. My mom stayed with them during the day and kept them busy and reminded them that no news is good news, etc. Dh called occassionally to verify that there were no problems. They did come up that evening to see me, but I was on oxygen and looked pale and worn out and it did scare them a little. They thought I was much worse off than I really was. It would have been better to see them the next morning after the anesthesia was mostly out of my system and I could have responded to them better.

Surgery can take hours. She will be sitting in the waiting room, which can be stressful if there are other families in there waiting for patients who may be very ill. Is there someone who could be with her at home to help the time go by quickly, and yet keep her in touch?

Unread 01-03-2006, 09:24 AM
Did you let your child come to the hospital the day of??

My kids are 10 and 12, they came to see me around 630 when I was out of recovery. They wanted to help me push my morphine button. Goof balls. Then came the next day also. Not a big deal to them, but every child is different. It can be a learning experience for them, and even help relieve their stress to see you doing okay.
Unread 01-03-2006, 09:46 AM
Did you let your child come to the hospital the day of??

my three sons also came to see me the day of. ages 19 15 13. i am very close to my boys and would not have heard of not seeing them. they were very concerned for me and i wanted to show them i was fine. the two youngest actually stayed until visiting hours were over. they did thier homework and were very well behaved. it was just a comfort to me to wake from my daze and see all my family there. good luck and god bless
Unread 01-03-2006, 09:53 AM
Did you let your child come to the hospital the day of??

My children went to the hospital the morning of my surgery to drop me off. Only my son (3) came to see me after my surgery with DH. I did not want my daughter (5) to worry seeing me hooked up to everything.
All the Best,
Unread 01-03-2006, 10:14 AM
Did you let your child come to the hospital the day of??

I have had a previous surgery and my kids did not see me until the 2nd day after that one. My 6 y/o seemed nervous my 16 mo old was crawling all over me (ouch!). I plan on sending them to school and daycare the day of surgery and will hopefully be able to send my dh home that evening to take care of them (my surgery is scheduled for a Thursday). I am planning on him bringing them Friday after school, then they will go to their grandmas for the rest of the weekend (or atleast that is the plan). I will play it buy ear whether he can bring them up Thursday night.
Unread 01-03-2006, 01:17 PM
Did you let your child come to the hospital the day of??

I can really understand how you're torn in this situation.

This is what I would do if I were you -- I'd have my child go to school on surgery day just like usual that day. Here's why: First, it keeps your child's routine intact, which can be very important. The people who are with her on a daily basis are used to meeting her needs during the day.

Secondly, hospitals are naturally very high-stress environments. Any number of things can delay your surgery. (My last surgery report time was 7:00 a.m. and I wasn't called until almost 12:30 p.m.) Once you're in the pre-op area, there can be more delays. Even a minor issue during surgery can make the procedure go longer. That 5-1/2 hours could go up to 12 hours or even more if you consider waiting time. That's a long time for anyone to wait.

My point is that all of these things do nothing but ADD to the stress level of those waiting. If you just say to your child that someone will call with updates throughout the day, that may be just as good as having her at the hospital.

Add to this the fact that there is notoriously nothing to do in a hospital for adults, let alone children. Unless there will be one or two people with your dd the entire time she's there, it may be very difficult for her and for everyone else there at the hospital.

I'm really trying to think about your dd and what would ease her stress. She'll be stressed, no matter what. But she may be less stressed if she's not at the hospital.

to you. This is not an easy decision, for sure.

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