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having second thoughts having second thoughts

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Unread 01-08-2006, 07:11 PM
having second thoughts

I am really beginning to have second thoughts about this hysterectomy since I have been reading many of the messages regarding sexual dysfunction after a hysterectomy. My husband and I share a very satisfying sex life and I'd rather deal with the pain I have rather than give that up and ruin that aspect of my marriage. It seems like most women have trouble after a hysterectomy. Is this true?
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Unread 01-08-2006, 07:39 PM
having second thoughts

Hi Beth,

I shared the exact same fears as you and luckily, my Gyn was willing to do whatever I wanted, even cancel on the day before surgery. You did not say what medical condition has led you to the hysterectomy option. Mine was fibroids and bleeding. I managed to shrink my fibroids and just about eliminate my between cycle bleeding. My Gyn agreed with me that I had significantly shrunk the fibroids. I asked him if we could cancel and he said we could do whatever I chose. Since I was already scheduled, I asked him to go ahead with the myomectomy (fibroid removal only) and if he saw any other concerns while in there, then he could do whatever was medically necessary.

Anyway, my point is, just make sure you research all alternatives before you choose an irreversible surgery. Not everyone has problems after a hysterectomy. Many women are significantly happier. It is definitely scarier if you have to have your ovaries out too.
Unread 01-08-2006, 07:47 PM
having second thoughts

Originally Posted by extrachrome
I am really beginning to have second thoughts about this hysterectomy since I have been reading many of the messages regarding sexual dysfunction after a hysterectomy. My husband and I share a very satisfying sex life and I'd rather deal with the pain I have rather than give that up and ruin that aspect of my marriage. It seems like most women have trouble after a hysterectomy. Is this true?
You know, I am 5 days post-op and not doing so badly. I was having 2nd thoughts as well, but am now happy that it is just over with. Pain will usually worsen over time, do you really want to deal with that?
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Unread 01-08-2006, 08:00 PM
having second thoughts

HI Extrachrome,

I can suggest you maybe check to see if you are a candidate to keep your ~cervix~ - with a SAH (Subtotal Abdominal Hysterectomy).

My Dr. felt the cervix helps with future pelvic support and with sex. Both ot those have been ~very~ true for me. You can get two schools of thinking on keeping the cervix and I am still very glad I kept mine. I was a good candidate since I had had normal pap smears for years and I had a sturdy cervix. I also had my cervix cauterized during my hyst and that has prevented me from having a mini-period in post-op. If one or both ovaries and the cervix are retained, there is a chance of a mini-period after a hyst.

Best wishes. Don't worry. You will make the right decision for yourself.

Unread 01-08-2006, 08:13 PM
having second thoughts

Hi Beth!

The following archived Pre-Op Article was written based on comments we received over the years from the members of Hystersisters.com. I hope it will prove helpful to you: Is Sex Really the Same?

It seems like most women have trouble after a hysterectomy. Is this true?
I don't believe this is true. If you read posts in the "Beyond the Land of Hyster" forum you will note that most women report an equal or better sex life than before their surgery. Of course, no one has a crystal ball and can predict ahead of time how you will fare in this regard.

If you don't want to have the surgery, for whatever reason(s), it would probably be best not to have it. You can always change you mind later, if need be.

Many s and Best Wishes,
Unread 01-08-2006, 08:19 PM
having second thoughts

I was afraid of the same thing to, but the right HRT and the right amount of healing time make all the difference, my sex life is better now than it was pre-surgery. I had a lot of second thoughts but having the hysterectomy was the best thing I did for my physical health....no regrets there.
Unread 01-08-2006, 08:23 PM
having second thoughts

That was something that gave me pause as well. Despite my fibroids, we've always had a good sex life, and I sure did not want to mess that up! My cervix is gone, ovaries remain, and the sex is just fine, even better than before I would say. Of course there are no guarantees, but I've seen many positive reports on that subject here. Good luck with whatever you decide.
Unread 01-08-2006, 08:31 PM
having second thoughts

I think all women worry about that aspect of life the most before this procedure. If you dont feel now is the right time, then cancel!!! You can always reschedule, but those darned docs are so stingy< once they take your parts, they dont give 'em back!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Unread 01-08-2006, 08:35 PM
having second thoughts

That's a good point. I went through with my surgery this fall because I didn't want to be having this same conversation with myself a year for now. It was the right time for me, but it simply may not be for you.
Unread 01-08-2006, 08:49 PM
having second thoughts

Every decision we make is important. I am so glad that you are taking the time to weigh all the aspects of this one! It is vital that you stay well informed and are seeking wise council. I had post-op complications which contributed to the sexual difficulties I now face. I had to have a second surgery later that night (7 hours after the hyst) which was done vaginally. The second surgery caused some things to heal differently than originally intended to. My libido is about the same, though. My desire doesn't come from my loins, but from the love I have for my husband. All the functions the ovaries and uterus performed are gone, but the love for my honey isn't. Whatever happens, you will get through it TOGETHER!

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