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Anyone Had Folks "Judge" you for "chosing" hysterectomy? Anyone Had Folks "Judge" you for "chosing" hysterectomy?

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Unread 01-14-2006, 08:54 PM
Anyone Had Folks "Judge" you for "chosing" hysterectomy?

I'm scheduled for a TAH 2/3 for several LARGE fibroids and endometriosis. My symptoms have been pretty mild - very little unusual bleeding, some digestive problems but primarily the 20 week size uterus with constant pressure on my bladder.

I've encountered some "attitude" about chosing such a major surgery for these rather "mild" symtpoms. Overall I'm feeling good about my decision - these suckers have been growing rapidly over the past three years and just won't get better.

Has anyone else found themselves "judged" for this "politically incorrect" choice?

This forum has been sooooo helpful to me. I'm sure you all will have great words of wisdom for me.

Thanks in advance,
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Unread 01-14-2006, 09:04 PM
Anyone Had Folks "Judge" you for "chosing" hysterectomy?

Oh yeah!

Because I knew how my family would react, I decided to have the surgery without telling them! I live alone but had a lot of support and help from friends. I told my family about one month after the fact, and as I expected they were upset, not because I didn't tell them about it beforehand, but because "I didn't make the right decision. How could I do something like this when I was so young?!!!"'s my body and my pain and I was sick of it! I didn't want kids and knew that ahead of time (although I love them, I just don't plan to ever get married and don't have time to raise my own kids). I am very happy with the decision I made. I don't have the pain and constant bleeding anymore, and I can now teach at a new job without worrying about running to the bathroom to change my pad or look for leaks every hour (because there's no way I would have time to!).
Unread 01-14-2006, 09:20 PM
Anyone Had Folks "Judge" you for "chosing" hysterectomy?

I have gotten the "Well, have you gone for more then one opinion and the You know they have other things you can do for that now" I hear it everytime I talk to someone about it. I have my kids and want no more and DH is already been "fixed" so to speak so that was not an issue but YES I am hearing it still with only a few days to go before my surgery. Well, we will support you Sally, you will get no second guessing from us. Trust in your own judgement and the fact that you can get back to some sort of normal life. Best wishes sweetie, keep us posted
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Unread 01-14-2006, 09:26 PM
Anyone Had Folks "Judge" you for "chosing" hysterectomy?

Hi Sally,

No, thank goodness, I haven't heard any comments like these -- I've actually had my friends and family gradually "pushing" me to have the surgery even though I wasn't sure, since my headaches had only gotten worse and worse over the past few years. Makes me think I must just be a much worse COMPLAINER about my pain/health than you are! I hope that the people around you get more and more supportive as you get closer to your date.
Unread 01-14-2006, 09:40 PM
Anyone Had Folks "Judge" you for "chosing" hysterectomy?

I have only had one person tell me that I have removed my "womanhood" and that they would never do that. I really don't care what she said, I feel so much better since my surgery and hopefully you will too.
Unread 01-14-2006, 09:48 PM
Anyone Had Folks "Judge" you for "chosing" hysterectomy?

I had a few bad comments about having surgery.
"you're almost to menopause, why not wait it out" and " I am going to keep my parts; no one is going to cut on me"; "what, you didn't get a second opinion?"

Since they have talked to me after surgery, they realize how much better I feel.

Most of my family, friends and co-workers cheered me on.
There will always be a few sour apples around to try to make you second guess your decsion or try to make you think their way.

Go with your decision. You will feel better.

God bless and good luck,

Unread 01-14-2006, 09:53 PM
Anyone Had Folks "Judge" you for "chosing" hysterectomy?

I have had a few negative comments but for the most part family and friends have been supportive. It is strange though that some people think we somehow just want to have a hysterectomy. I have had anemia, pain, horrendous bleeding, etc. for at least 20 years. Oh, and I forgot fibroids. If I should not have a hysterectomy then who should? My mom was one of the worst...she really disappointed me. However, I chalked it up to lack and knowledge on their part and like you I am comfortable with my decision. It is your body and your decision! Keep the faith and see ya on the other side.
Unread 01-14-2006, 11:46 PM
Anyone Had Folks "Judge" you for "chosing" hysterectomy?

Thanks for everyone's comments. It sooooo helps to have others who are ACTUALLY EXPERIENCING these same things support me in my decision.

People have been supportive....just judgmental. Not everyone. Overall I feel supported, especially by DH.

Hugs to all,
Unread 01-15-2006, 06:13 AM
Anyone Had Folks "Judge" you for "chosing" hysterectomy?

As far as family, everyone has been okay, especially my 5 brothers. They know I would not do anything to disrupt my kids life unless it was necessary. My oldest sister is stressed out about it, I'm not sure why, she won't say. My other sister is into holistic healing and did some research before giving me the "I realize you don't have a choice" She wanted me to see a chiroprator? lol
My friends,, well they thought all this pain was due to my stress!! Voiced their concerns about me being a hypocondriac. My DH and I went out with them last night and it was a little weird at first, they tip toed around it, then said they would do anything to help especially by taking the kids to do something fun. whewww. I was beginning to think I could not maintain the long friendships, and it was really bothering me. My dearest friend put her foot down with the rest of them and told them what was going on.
All in all, the reality has set in and it seems everyone is on board!
Unread 01-15-2006, 09:11 AM
Anyone Had Folks "Judge" you for "chosing" hysterectomy?

I have been fortunate not to experience any judgement. My father (a physician) helped me make the right decision for me. He listened to the symptoms and diagnosis (rapid growing large fibroids), and even asked his colleagues for their opinions. They were all the same. At my age (40) and having had my tubes tied years ago that the best option was hysterectomy. My dh and ds's have been very supportive. My work colleagues have been wonderful also. Friends have been great and have already planned to look after my ds's (teenagers) while I am in th castle. All in all I have been very fortunate through this. good luck on a speedy recovery for all the princess' in waiting

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