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Looking for a sign things will be okay... Looking for a sign things will be okay...

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Unread 04-16-2001, 06:12 PM
Looking for a sign things will be okay...

Hello, Dear Hyster Sisters!
I've read through the most recent posts, and my heart aches for those of you who are just beginning your journey. A diagnosis of cancer can be such a frightening thing. The procedures are just ridiculous - all the poking and prodding - but so necessary to your recovery and your good health. Zoe - added to your anxiety about radiation therapy, your decision to pass on the Cambodian baby must have been gut-wrenching, but YOUR baby will come along in time.
Somehow, through all of my journey, I always managed to keep a positive attitude - to see the funny things - to grab the little victories (like pulling up my own undies!) - to be fascinated with the miracles of the procedures I was undergoing. I drove the nurses and technicians crazy with questions about the technology of my epidural pump, the radiation machines, and even the rod for brachytherapy. Perhaps it was because I had a very special angel watching over me, my dear Dad, who was my first doctor...and my first teacher. He had a lust for learning that he passed along to me. He was a family practice doctor in the small town where I grew up - for those of us old enough to remember, sort of like Marcus Welby. I remember people actually paying him with eggs and home grown vegetables. He made house calls well into the 1970's. I never had a shot from anyone but Dad until I was well into my thirties, living two states away, and stepped on a rusty nail in the garden! Dad died a year and a half before my diagnosis...and my greatest distress when my doctor told me I had cancer was that Dad wasn't around to talk me through it. Old timers around these parts may remember this story - but here goes. I prayed like crazy for some sign that Daddy was with me during the two weeks between diagnosis and surgery. No sign came. The nurse gave me the "relaxing" meds and then wheeled me to pre-op. The anesthesiologist leaned over the rail of the gurney and began explaining to me about the epidural. I'm blind as a bat without my glasses, so everything was fuzzy. Just as he began to speak, a fly buzzed right across the bridge of my nose and around his head. He hollered "who let that fly in here?" I responded - filled with peace - "That's my Daddy making sure I'm okay." Two days later, my nurses were helping me with a sponge bath and I told them about Fly Daddy. They looked at each other with odd expressions on their faces. It seems the quality assurance report from my surgical procedure had just come in to be filed with my chart. The only blot on the report was a fly - in the operating room the whole time - and mysteriously nowhere to be found when surgery was completed. Each day I was hospitalized, a fly would buzz into the room, land where I could see it, and then buzz out. On the day I was discharged, as I sat in a wheelchair at the front of the hospital waiting for my husband to bring the car around - a fly landed on the arm of the wheelchair, preened its wings - and left only after my DH got out of the car and came to help me in. We find our "signs" in strange places, I guess. But this fly gave me the courage to go on...to fight this disease and know that I will win. Whether it was a sign from my Dad, I'll never know, but I choose to believe it was.
Look for your signs, Dear Sisters - and keep thinking positive thoughts, just like Pollyanna.
HUGS - you're in my prayers.
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Unread 04-16-2001, 06:39 PM
Looking for a sign things will be okay...

Oh, Molly!

Thank you for sharing that delightful story! It brought tears to my eyes as I remembered my own quest for a sign from my father on the way in to surgery. I'm so glad you found yours. Your father must have been a wonderful man (as was mine) to make sure you had your peace of mind before going under.

May we all always find the signs we need to be courageous and do what must be done!
Unread 04-16-2001, 10:35 PM
Looking for a sign things will be okay...

I wholeheartedly agree, Molly!

My sign came along prior to surgery and it was actually how we found out I needed surgery.

I was driving along to the Dr to get a recheck chest xray for a virus I had at the time. On the way there, I suddenly remember about a segment I had watched about gene testing if you have a family history of cancer. I talked to the Dr about and since we weren't sure if my insurance would cover the gene testing (and its SO expensive) we would first do the blood test types at that point.

Well, I had the CA125 and CA2729 done and the CA125 came back very elevated. So, although it isn't meant as a diagnostic tool, it certainly worked in my case.

I wholeheartedly believe my mom and dad were looking out for me and "popped" that thought in my head.

So, yes, ladies do look for the signs, they are there

{{hugs}}to all

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Unread 04-17-2001, 12:46 AM
Looking for a sign things will be okay...

Thanks Molly , you are definately an angel in my life right now I am constantly on the lookout for signs , just to get me through the day. And you know what? They come when I least expect it ! But they are there. Love to you Molly x x
Unread 04-17-2001, 05:52 AM
Looking for a sign things will be okay...

Molly, that is a really neat story! I thought of the old saying, "If only I could be a fly on the wall!" Well, it sure sounds to me like your Daddy did just that!!!
Unread 04-17-2001, 07:06 AM
Looking for a sign things will be okay...

Hi Molly,
What a wonderful story.
I also believe our loved ones are watching over us and sending little signs that they are always around us. The signs don't always jump out at us, but they are there.
Thank you for sharing that with us.
God Bless you Molly,
M. xo
Unread 04-17-2001, 01:08 PM
Looking for a sign things will be okay...


Thanks for the uplifting story. It has been a difficult time but with all the support from my Hyster Sisters I find each day is easier. It is comforting to know that I have a Saviour that provides guardian angels. I'm reminded to look outward instead of looking inward where I can spend too much time with selfpity and doubts. I don't think it is wrong to acknowledge these feelings but it's like others have pointed out to me, I can't allow those feelings to prevail.

Thanks for sharing so freely.


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