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Husband Left Me Husband Left Me

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  #11  
Unread 01-21-2006, 01:25 PM
Husband Left Me

Dedo:
What timing he has...although you seem as though it wasn't entirely unexpected? If its a total shock to you it may effect your immune system. If you've emotional worked through the marital problems you may be less stressed with that aside rather than having husband sulking around as you're healing. You know your situation better than anyone. When in doubt, talk to your doctor. Sounds like you have things planned out well with the kids away for the first few days. I'll be thinking about you. Take care of you
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  #12  
Unread 01-21-2006, 02:00 PM
Husband Left Me

Dedo,
You are a woman!! You are STRONG ! Stock your freezer with frozen dinners and bread. Have jars of sauce and pasta. Peanut butter and jelly. Your boys can lift things for you and you will make it. All of our prayers are with you. But I agree, let your doctor know and you may be able to stay another day in hospital and possibly he can get you a visiting nurse to come for the first week or two. Perhaps there are other services that he knows about that can help you out. How about a church, do you belong to a church? Many churches have women that will come out and help people in need. While you are recovering, take as much help as you possibly can. My husband and I had marital problems last year and he did leave for a while. I was extremely distraut but after a week of crying I changed my attitude; although I loved him I figured I had to get strong for me and my boys. I stopped the crying , focused on what I had to do, and went on with life without him, smiling every day and knowing I had the greatest gift....my boys! They rallied around me and we were FINE ! My husband did come home, we are working on our problems, and then I started with my fibroids! My surgery is Feb 8th and although I am happy my husband is home, I know I have to focus on ME because if I do not get well, then nothing else can move forward. So stay focused, and keep in touch!! I am with you!!!
Sue
  #13  
Unread 01-21-2006, 02:42 PM
Husband Left Me

I'm so sorry you're facing this right now.

Is there any way that another relative (or friend) could stay with you for another 1-2 weeks after your surgery? Or could your kids go stay somewhere else? That way you'll have someone to help with those all-important morning and evening "rushes".

I say that because I know (and this is just my opinion, of course) that there is no way I could have been alone with two children that young so soon after surgery. It was honestly a good two weeks before I could do much more than go to the potty, take a shower, and run the remote on the TV!

I don't even think it's so much that they'll need "taking care of", but at least the 4-year-old may not understand that you really can't do lots of stuff that you used to be able to do. You may not feel well at all, and that could be very frightening.

Even if you had someone just to come in for a couple of hours in the morning and from after school to bedtime, it would be a tremendous help for you!!

If no help is on the horizon, then I would make sure that everything is very accessible, stock up on lots of paper plates and plastic utensils and cups, and make sure the kids understand all they get is delivered food, peanut butter sandwiches and cereal for at least two weeks after you are reunited with them..... (Actually, they'll probably really like that if they're anything like my kids ) Good luck to you.
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  #14  
Unread 01-21-2006, 02:45 PM
Husband Left Me

I'm sooo sorry that is so cruel that he did this to you just prior to surgery! I will pray for a good recovery and a better life and happier days ahead!
Hugs,

Beth who also is scheduled for surgery next week!
  #15  
Unread 01-21-2006, 03:11 PM
Husband Left Me

How tragic that this man is abandoning you when you need him the most. It is unfortunate that some men aren't strong enough to live up to the vows they made: "For better, for worse, in sickness and in health. . . " I'm firmly convinced that is why women were assigned the task of childbirth and child-rearing -- men simply don't have what it takes to handle the pressure.

Anyway, as some have said, be sure to stock up on frozen dinners, plenty of bread, peanut butter, and other things that the kids can make sandwiches out of. Canned soup is also good and easy to prepare. Do your last load of laundry the day before you leave for the hospital so you don't have to worry about it when you get home, at least for a while. Perhaps one of your kids has a friend whose mom would be willing to get them to school. Do you have a good friend or relative who can look in on you from time to time?

Oh, and you might want to consult with a good lawyer! If there is a chance he will come back, you might want to refer him to the misterhyster portion of this site, so he can gain a better understanding of what you're going through: http://www.misterhystersisters.com/
  #16  
Unread 01-21-2006, 04:08 PM
Husband Left Me

to you. I can't believe this...we are all here for you. ~Angel
  #17  
Unread 01-21-2006, 04:12 PM
Husband Left Me

de do my heart goes out to you. I am going to pray for your recovery.
You should ask your doctor about the visiting nurse service hopefully it is not to expensive. You should also look into grocery delivery and as the others said paper plates and plastic utensils. Is there a teenager on your block that could possibly help you. Desperate times call for desperate measures and this is a way to meet your neighbors, I would also let the school know about your situation they might be able to help. It would also help for them to know in case your 7 yr old starts to act out. then they would understand. My prayers are with you You can pm me if you need to vent more. just click my user name.
Good luck and be well
Celticd
  #18  
Unread 01-21-2006, 04:37 PM
Husband Left Me

Oh Dedo, sorry to hear that your hubby left. Seems sort of selfish with everything you are going through but you will get through this. I just had a TVH and came home feeling great other than I need naps now and them. I will definately keep you in my prayers. You never know, things have a way of working out... (if you want them to) Hang in there... I pray your surgery and recovery goes as smoothly as mine is! Praying for you girl! Jan
  #19  
Unread 01-21-2006, 06:41 PM
Husband Left Me

Dedo,

I too am sorry for what you are going through! Just try and stay strong! We are all here if you need us! It just stinks that this happened now, but God has a reason for everything that goes on in our lives. I am wishing you an uneventful surgery and a speedy recovry!!HUGS!!!
  #20  
Unread 01-21-2006, 07:00 PM
Husband Left Me

dedo,

I am so sorry this is happening to you. I know you said that no one else can come help, but what about the women at your church? (I'm assuming here which can get me in trouble, I realize, if you don't go to a specific church.) Our church normally will organize a meal brigade of some sort to help out familes going through medical problems. They want to help, so let them! Could any of the mommies of your kids' friends help out? I'm sure the boys will help, but as the mother of two boys, there are just some things you won't want to ask them to help you do....

I went through a mastectomy four years ago and was very dependent upon my then 16 year-old-son since my husband was at work most of the time. Son has since moved across the country, but he has a younger brother...so we're in the process of training the 12 year-old to help more while Dad is at work.

I know it will be difficult without your husband around; just mine being gone at work or at his parents helping them was frustrating. They were moving and asked for his help which he gladly gave them ANY time they asked, leaving me at home without his help. Since he wasn't home, I did too much too soon and hurt myself. That situation caused much friction and resentment; he seems to have learned from that past mistake.
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