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Husband Left Me Husband Left Me

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Unread 01-23-2006, 02:31 AM
Let the door knob hit him as he leaves...

Can't say more than that without being edited...
Take the advice of the gals that have been through this. Do everything they say about stocking up on easy food stuff and anything else that you know your boys would love to indulge themselves in during your down time.
<oops,referral to law suits not allowed as per the site guidelines>
When you are feeling better, get a make-over and realize that you are lucky to be rid of him!!!
Drop me a line anytime you need a shoulder to lay your head on...
<personal email removed for your safety-please us the email provided on the site>
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Unread 01-23-2006, 04:00 AM
Husband Left Me

You can do it if you prepare in advance first and do tell your doctor about the situation. Do train the kids on how to help with the laundry and other tasks you have that cannot wait. Buy the frozen dinners, jello cups with fruit, pudding cups, applesauce etc. I came home on day 4 and on day 5 I was helping in the kitchen and caught up on the laundry (had my hubby take the laundry to the laundry room). Day 6 I was cooking real food. I just moved slower and took it easier.

Your doctor will tell you what restrictions you will have and for long. Just please listen to the restrictions - they are important for your recovery as you don't want any repair surgery. We are all here for you.
Unread 01-23-2006, 04:13 AM
Husband Left Me

I'm so sorry that he did this right before your surgery. Lots of good advice above, so I just wanted to let you know you're in my prayers. Please update us when you get home. Hugs.
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Unread 01-23-2006, 05:39 AM
Husband Left Me

What a basket! (Can't say what i really think without being censored!)
When I was recovering, my littl'un (10 years old) was more helpful than my big'un(16 years old) so don't underestimate your kid's help.

I had friends who did the school run (a note in the school newsletter spread the load) and a freezer stocked with easy-to-cook food. And as soon as the girls had gone to school, I went back to bed. Don't worry about the state of the house or anyhting else - just sleep and then sit on the settee when they're home and direct operations from there. In fact, my girls enjoyed the fact that I had to sit still and not do any chores - we read, talked and watched TV together - it was lovely to spend time with them without having to rush around doing chores! A good excuse (I can't clean - I'm convalescing) trumps the guilt anyday!

Take care and look after yourself,
Unread 01-23-2006, 06:49 AM
Husband Left Me

I'm so sorry that you have to go through this now. I will pray for you.

While you are stocking up on food, try to make sure some of the food is non-gas producing food. (I had a TAH, so I don't know if it applies to you) I just couldn't eat anything that produced gas for awhile. I ate mostly soup. We are eating all those meals I stocked ahead of time now , on days that I have extra work to do.
Unread 01-23-2006, 03:03 PM
Husband Left Me

I am so sorry that you are going through all of this, especially at the time of your surgery. Thought I would hop in here with a bit of encouragement. My kids were 7 and 3 at the time of my surgery. DH was only able to take off of work the day of my surgery. My parents kept my kids for a week, then they were home with me while DH was at work. We made it through and it wasn't too bad. My DS (age 7) vacuumed and mopped (and had a blast doing it too!), as well as slid the laundry baskets down the stairs and lifted the laundry into the washer for me. My DD (age 3) put the dishes where I told her in the dishwasher and unloaded it onto the counter for me when the dishes were clean. Had some meals prepared ahead of time, others were simple (like PBJ or frozen dinners). My kids were a great help, watched more TV than I usually let them, and we did well. I was also able to drive OK when they returned home, although I only did it when absolutely necessary. So you will get through this, and they will help you. I am keeping you in my prayers.
Unread 01-24-2006, 03:49 PM
Husband Left Me

I am so sorry that you are having to deal with this at the same time as your hysterectomy. Please try and get some help. You need someone to take care of YOU! Your kids will be okay. But, you need to heal physicaly and emotionally from this surgery. I wish you strength and courage during this tough time. On a personal note, with a man who would leave you before major surgery, it may very well be a blessing in disguise. Be well and take care of you!
Unread 01-24-2006, 04:56 PM
Husband Left Me

Well, his timing <oops, please don't override the censor>. But then again, was he going to be a help or a hindrance? I imagine you will do just fine. You sure find out who your true supporters are at a time like this. I hope you have family around who can help you. Good thoughts, vibes and prayers go your way.
Unread 01-24-2006, 06:51 PM
Husband Left Me

That is terrible! Although his timing is so bad I would have to say that he is just using this as an excuse to leave without facing the real issues. Maybe he didn't hear the part about "for better or worse, or "in sickness or in health" The fact that there will be no one to help you after also says he also wants no responsibility in regard to your children. I'm sorry you ended up with a guy like that but do not blame yourself for your health problems - Real men stand by their wife in these situations.
Unread 01-24-2006, 08:26 PM
Husband Left Me

Speaking as a nurse with a *little* bit of experience in helping people heal (well, 17 yrs worth) - let me just say this: to address your question, being sad won't necessarily affect your recovery. What will affect it is the amount of determination and fighting instinct you have in you. Anger can be a fantastic motivator. Just depends on how you choose to channel it. Are you going to mope and lay around depressed and try to figure out how to get him back (not good), or are you going to make up your mind to heal, focus on yourself and your kids, and take this time to begin to find yourself (who I can assure you has likely been lost in all the ups and downs up to now)? That's what's going to make the difference in your entire experience with any kind of surgery. I'll reserve comment on the husband, but to say that this kind of behavior won't look good for him when it comes time to face a judge. Even if you just get mad enough to daydream about (not necessarily go through with) making him hurt in the wallet for all the hurt he's causing you...that can help you in the short term. Just don't let it fester - that will kill you in the long term.

God bless you hun. A lot of us have been abandoned and/or let down by the men we counted on. It will make you stronger if you let it. It will take time and it will not be easy but you will find yourself taking pride in things you never thought you could do. Recovery on your own is one of those things. Just be careful, use sense, don't overdo.

Thoughts are with you.

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