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I am having 2nd Thoughts......... I am having 2nd Thoughts.........

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Unread 03-08-2006, 10:17 PM
I am having 2nd Thoughts.........

I just took a 30 minute bath and started crying in the tub. I feel like a wreck. 2 weeks from tonight I will be preparing for surgery. I am so scared. I am so scared that I will have a hard recovery. I am scared that my 2 & 1 yr old won't be okay, I am scared that my Mom will be here for 3 weeks and we will fight, I am scared what they might find. I just want this over. I can't stop crying and I haven't even had the surgery yet. I feel like it's too late to cancel now. So many plans have been made for my family, etc around this surgery. Help!
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Unread 03-08-2006, 10:29 PM
I am having 2nd Thoughts.........

Hi Channele, here let me send you some (((hugs)). Now take a deep shakey breath and let it out. It's okay that you cried in the tub. I've done that. And it's okay that you thought of what might go wrong or be tough on you and your family. But try to think thru that. There's a reason that you sought out the surgery right? Yes, the recovery might be a little hard. But I bet you are a loving caring person and you can do hard. Cause you can take care of everyone around you and that's tough work. You're just having some over whelming feelings right now and that's normal. All us Sisters have done it. But think about
what you are going to gain. Once you get thru the first couple of months you will discover a new you. This surgery is to help you not harm you. If something is found,fine. Let's all deal with it now, when you have help and good dr's, and don't forget your caring Hyster Sisters! We can help you here too!
Please don't worry about your children. Kids are remarkable resilient and when they are older ALL of you will look back on this time and laugh. Let your mother help you. If your mom isn't that wonderful (mine truly isn't) then ask for help from friends, co-workers, nieghbors, church, and even the hospital. Every hospital I've ever been to has some kind of Patient Advocate who can put you in touch with the hospital volunteers or clergy to getyou help. You are not alone.
You are special. If you want and need this surgery then it could make your life so wonderful for your kids
and you. If you are afraid of something medical please call your dr's office and let them know. Or even the hospital to talk to their counselors.

I wish you the best no matter what you decide....
Take care.
Unread 03-08-2006, 10:33 PM
I am having 2nd Thoughts.........

Shera, thank you for your kind words. I appreciate what you have said adn that you took the time to respond to me. I know in the long run I will be better off, I am just scarerd. Thanks for validating my feelings.
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Unread 03-08-2006, 10:35 PM
I am having 2nd Thoughts.........

I had my TAH 5 months ago, and I'm here to tell you that your children will be fine; they are much stronger than you think. As for fighting with your mother, that is a possibility, but it won't be the end of the world, wil it? You say you want this to be over. To me, it sounds as though you really DO want to have the surgery, but only you can say for sure. Once I got my surgery date, I made my plans, and I just focused on having a good outcome, and I made it through. I feel wonderful today, and my only question now is, why did I wait so long? As soon as I woke up from my surgery, I was SO glad that my uterus was gone, I simply cannot express it. Don't worry. Make an image for yourself of all the health care professionals who will be working to bring you through to the other side. Breathe deeply, think of how wonderful it will be to be rid of the symptoms that made you think of this surgery in the first place. Good luck to you. Many sisters are wishing you well.
Unread 03-08-2006, 10:37 PM
I am having 2nd Thoughts.........

Chanale, here are some more hugs from me too. Your emotions are just pretty sensitive right now. You will probably feel better tomorrow. I was horrified before my surgery - I couldn't believe it was happening. You sound like most of us I'm sure. Keep praying about it and talking to others about it, that always helps. Call your doctor if you need to. Don't worry about your crying or high emotions. Just accept them because it's perfectly normal.

We're all behind you!!! Keep coming here and keep writing here. We're all here!!

Take good care.
Unread 03-08-2006, 10:39 PM
I am having 2nd Thoughts.........

I think you will find many of us have shed some tears before surgery, too. I know I did. They thought I had cancer and said I needed a LAVH and needed to take everything. I'm 48.... so it's not like I'm young and wanting more children, but it was still such a HUGE issue for me. I just couldn't hardly stand to think of me having a hysterecomy. Then, ladies would say really untactful comments and I would tear up. It was so HUGE FOR ME........ Well, what I did was try to walk myself through it. First off...... I searched all my options..... Was there any other way to treat my physical problems.......???? I went to 4 different doctors........ They all agreed......... I NEEDED A LAVH with everything removed asap........ So, then I would look at my 4 children....... (only one left at home) and I knew that if this was cancer that they felt they had caught it in time if I would go ahead. I knew that they wanted me to be around in the years ahead..... So, I started talking about how this surgery was going to let me live to see my future grandbabies. (I know I need to go on Dr. Phil... ha) It was as if I had to replace my fearful thoughts with positive thoughts..... Anyway, then everynight I would pray for courage..... because I was AFRAID everywhere I looked...... Well, guess what??? I'm almost 3 weeks post op and I am gaining ground every day. I don't have any pain from a diseased uterus..... that was causing me so much trouble and ovaries that caused me pain, too...... They caught it in time.... NO CANCER only a premalignant condition...... I am one blessed woman. You will be in my thoughts and prayers...... HUGS.....
Unread 03-08-2006, 10:40 PM
I am having 2nd Thoughts.........

Hang in there!! I'm not looking forward to my mom hanging all over me, either! However, I kind of found a way around having her RIGHT THERE every second. It is a legitimate request on my part, I told my mom that I understand she wants to be there during my surgery, but as soon as I am out and awake, and she knows I am okay, I want her to go home and be with my son, so that he isn't worried about me. I figure if she is at the hospital with me, there will be more of a chance of my 9 yr old son freaking out over this. If she is at home with him and my dad, my son will know I am okay and feel like everything is all right!! Luckily, it will also give me some breathing room from mom! I'm awfully independent, and just want to heal quietly, with no one hanging over me!! Maybe you can use that approach?
If that won't work, be honest with your doctor about being nervous about not getting along with your mom. I bet s/he will help you out by stressing to your mom how important it is for you to have time alone after the surgery - you'll heal quicker if you are happy and relaxed, it sounds like some alone time from mom might help that along!
Good luck!!!!!
Unread 03-08-2006, 10:51 PM
I am having 2nd Thoughts.........

The crying was probably a good thing for you. It's normal to be scared. This is all new, and you have fears. I agree with what the others have told you. You will be fine, and your kids will be fine. I can relate to the Mom thing, though. I'm not close to mine either. Hope you get to feeling better, and keep coming here for support.
Unread 03-09-2006, 06:01 AM
I am having 2nd Thoughts.........

Aww sweetie, its going to be ok. I am 40 days away from my surgery (yes I have a countdown going). When I start to feel overwhelmed and start to worry about everything I start to practice deep breathing. It is what it is. The important thing to remember is you cant control certain things no matter how hard you try. Kids are tough and they will adjust-they are stronger than we realize most of the time. Keep your mind on the positive - I honestly believe that a positive attitude towards surgery & your mother will make a difference. Beisdes, if you yell at mom, you can later blame it on the meds.

Lots of s to you!
Unread 03-09-2006, 06:03 AM
I am having 2nd Thoughts.........

Thinking of you this morning*sniff* Please know others that read your post are too. Wishing you strength.......

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