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Saying goodbye to my Uterus Saying goodbye to my Uterus

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Unread 03-17-2006, 08:04 AM
Saying goodbye to my Uterus

Well, my daughter wrote it and it was a celebration of my life and a welcome to my Crone years. There were 2 other women there, too, and we were all celebrating our right of passage. This is just something my daughters and my circle of women friends do. We actually had this right before I set the date for my surgery, and I feel this was what I needed to make me set the date finally. We had a large bonfire and it was all done outside in Nature. During this time, I felt I could let go of my uterus, and move on to a healthy life. In a way, I think this helped my daughter, too, as she had quite a difficult time dealing with my surgery.
If you choose to do something like this, just let it all come from the heart. Smile, laugh, cry, do what makes you feel better. There are really no set rules or guidelines, as we all have different beliefs.
Sorry I wasn't much help here. Hope you find something that works for you.
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Unread 03-17-2006, 09:47 AM
Saying goodbye to my Uterus

Thanks Bonnie, it sounds lovely!

Unread 03-17-2006, 10:22 AM
Saying goodbye to my Uterus

WOW all I can say is THANK YOU No one really understands how you feel if they themselves have never gone through it. Everyone has said everything I have been feeling its just a very bittersweet feeling. I wish we could all band together for a group hug but I am sending everyone a big hug I know I should be thankful for my truly beautiful 4 kiddos but people who havent gone through this need to keep their trap SHUT Thank you my hyster sisters I dont think I would make it without any of you.
Love and hugs
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Unread 03-17-2006, 11:32 AM
Saying goodbye to my Uterus

I had a TVH for a uterine prolapse. I was kinda falling out all over. I also think it was because of my lifestyle. My DH was in a boiler explosion in 1987 and had severe back injuries. He went back to work, but in 1999 he was told he would end up paralyzed if he continued to do his job. He can't lift, so I because his "lifter." Between the three children and all the heavy lifting I've done over the years, it caused everything to prolapse. My doctor also told me some people a just more prone to this as I have had 2 hernia surgeries (femoral and epigastric). I'm 50 and hadn't had any signs of menopause except for 1 missed period in October. I have three beautiful children (20, 18 (daughters) and a son 15. We had wanted a 4th child at one point, but when my son was 2 years old and because of my DH's back injuries, he felt it would be too much for him. I understood completely. I too felt a sadness, but I tried to concentrate on the positive - like now we can have all the sex we want without worrying about getting pregnant. My DH has been so supportive, I couldn't ask for anyone better. My children also have been terrific! I also have a very strong faith that has seen my through a lot. I know God will help me through this. "He has a purpose for me, and while I may not know it in this life, I will be told in the next. I will trust Him as He knows what He is about." This is part of a meditation prayer that I say, and if anyone is interested, I would be willing to type the whole meditation.

Unread 03-17-2006, 11:53 AM
Saying goodbye to my Uterus

Funny: "Mourning" my uterus crossed my mind also.
I've had terribly painful periods ever since they started.
Also unable to become pregnant(married a widower with 2 adopted children whom I adopted) I had antibodies to his sperm and grieved at that time.

At 63 it's a question of atypical endometrial hyperplasia and ? CA lurking. Even then I thought "goodby" to a part of my body which came with me from my mother's womb(she's 89-and very philosophical about it).

I plan to think about my SISTERS whenever I become fearful. Funny thing-whenever I share my up-coming surgery more hystersisters come out of the woodwork (in the outside world I mean).

Everyone is in my prayers--and --as previously stated: The only way out is through--not around.
Unread 03-17-2006, 12:17 PM
Saying goodbye to my Uterus

fallflower ~
I'm so sorry to hear that your mom is not being supportive of your choice. I don't believe being a 'tomboy' caused your problems but that's just my opinion. I've always been a tomboy and feel that I was doomed from birth to have the endo and other problems that I do. Lovely genetics. Just wanted to send a BIG to ya. My mom might be around for me a little afterwards but I know she isn't totally supporting my decision to have this surgery. It's my body though and my hubby loves me all the same! Hang in there!
Unread 03-17-2006, 07:42 PM
Saying goodbye to my Uterus

Your mother's chastising you for being a tomboy just about floored me! Let's put this in perspective, shall we? How do you suppose the women pioneers managed to have babies year after year, build and protect their homes and managed? I'm certain they weren't sitting around in ladylike fashion waiting for the timber to be cleared, animals slaughtered, vegetables canned...well, you get my drift <grin>.

Then too, I'm sure the women athletes both past and present would have something to say about your mother's evaluation! LOL *Sigh*

I think it's understandable that you (we) would question your value as a woman sans a uterus. If our culture says that "Real women bear children" then obviously you (we) are no longer "real" after a hysterectomy. That's nonsense, of course; according to that logic any woman past child-bearing age would also be "less a woman" even though her reproductive years are behind her as a matter of course (where your's and mine were surgically ended). Can you imagine telling Barbra Striesand she's not a real woman? How about Susan Sarandon? Joanne Woodward? Ok, ok, I'll stop now! <grin>

The fact of the matter is we are still--always were and will be--women; we're just ahead of the game. What nature would've ended anyhow has come upon us earlier. Some people are prematurely grey...does that mean they should retire to a tropical island? The only yardstick that really matters is the one you create and apply to yourself; and from the sounds of it, you measure up just fine to me!

...and as for your mother's inability to support you in this trying time, what can I say but it's her loss. You sound like a woman anyone would be proud to call daughter! Take care and be well.
Unread 03-17-2006, 08:01 PM
Saying goodbye to my Uterus

Wow, fallflower, that is awful what your mother said. I hope you realize that being active makes you more healthy, not less so! I'm sure that is not what caused your problems.

i wanted to respond to this thread because of the response I had when my surgeon told me about the "morcellator" they use in laparoscopic hysterectomies -- it chops up your insides and ***** them out! And I felt so GUILTY! Like I wanted to apologize to my uterus. Like I was planning some horrible form of abuse for my body parts. I have caught myself thinking "I"m so sorry" and sending these vibes down to my abdomen. It just didn't seem right to chop up my ovaries and uterus into little pieces and suck them out. I have wished since the surgeon told me that (NO BEDSIDE MANNER) that he just had reassured me they could do the surgery by laparoscopy and called it a day.

So that's another view of the grieving I think we all do. I keep repeating to myself "there's no way through the grief but through."
Unread 03-17-2006, 08:50 PM
Saying goodbye to my Uterus

It's funny this thread is on here. I was chatting with a friend on another board and she asked me how I was doing emotionally.

It is weird. I said good bye to my uterus years ago. I have had alot of surgeries for endo and I have been told my doctors I would most likely not have biological children. I was told this around 25 so I have had some time to deal with it. Believe me I was angry and jealous of people who had children.

Now that my surgery is right around the corner I feel vindicated. I will have a better life and a new beginning.

I have a great husband who is completely supportive and understanding. It does help alot.

to everyone going through the difficult part of saying good bye.

Unread 03-17-2006, 08:53 PM
Saying goodbye to my Uterus

Thank you all for being so supportive. Shutterbug and YankeeLady, I can't thank you enough. After reading your replys I realize how ridiculous my mother is. I should have figured she would be like this. I just got to remember not to let my emotions take over when dealing with her. I have my DH and DS's and thats all that really matters!
The boys actually think it would be a great idea to comemerate this event and offically mourn the loss. The ideas are flying already...who knows what they will come up with!!! LOL I am begining to feel a calm come over me. Hope it lasts! :Hug::Hug: to all!!!

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