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Fear of Surgery Fear of Surgery

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Unread 03-21-2006, 07:01 AM
Fear of Surgery

I am having a hard time managing my fear about surgery. My mother-in-law died last week on the operating table while having a heart valve replacement, and now I have this illogical fear that I am going to die too. I have had 2 previous surgeries scheduled, that had to be cancelled because I was sick, and I felt fine about going into surgery then... I certainly don't want to reschedule again, just because of the fear! I talked to my surgeon, and she was very reassuring and even shared how she had fears about dying too when she had some surgery. That helped a little. I guess what I need to hear about, is all the succesful surgeries people have had out there!
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Unread 03-21-2006, 07:07 AM
Fear of Surgery

Many s tp you! I am so sorry to hear about your mother in law I have had general anthesia 4 times and all except the first time (15 & emergency circumstances) I was nervous. It goes with the terriority. I am glad that you talked to your surgeon about your fears. I will keep you in my thoughts and prayers.
Unread 03-21-2006, 07:23 AM
Fear of Surgery

I am sure you wouldn't be having the surgery unless it was absolutely necessary. You are perfectly normal in your fears and you have seen a loved one die in surgery just recently. I almost died in surgery but I would have died without the surgery. I had to have 4 pints of blood because the extremely large fibroid I had was blocking my cervix and the blood was not able to flow out of me for probably a month. I was walking around with all this extra blood in my uterus and if I would have hit it just the right way at home or work, I would have bled to death as I almost did on the table when they lifted my uterus out. This surgery is not just a light thing but it is the best thing that ever happened to me. I also did not know that my uterus was full of cancers when I had the surgery. So the surgery saved my life in 2 ways. I was very depressed and scared before the surgery, I even sent letters out to my family saying goodbye and what I wanted my husband to do with my body. But that is all behind me now, I am so thankful that I had it done. I have come through the surgery and recovery as well as can be expected. It is not a easy thing to have to go through and it is very stressful. I don't even attempt to miminize it. But someone once said on this site to me that "this is what separates the girls from the women". Sometimes we just don't have a choice of what we are facing to back out. I wish you the very best and know this that our prayers and thoughts are with you. I am sorry to hear about your mother in law, is your husband doing ok? I just lost my Mom and I know it is a sad time. Hugs- Cath
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Unread 03-21-2006, 08:15 AM
Fear of Surgery

Oh dear Zuzubella, I am so sorry you are going through this, but I know exactly how you feel. I went through the same thing, and for me, the hyst was my first major surgery or trip to the hospital. I don't have children, so I never experienced any major stuff until November. You are going to be JUST FINE, and you are going to get through this. I know how scary it is, but you just have to remember that thousands and thousands of women have done this, and we are here to talk about it, and to offer support! I'm 4 months now, and those days of absolute fear seem like a distant memory. Take it easy and try to stay calm - rent a stupid movie or get a good book to take your mind off it if you can. Or take a nice long bubble bath and a nap - be nice to yourself, and try your best to stay positive. You'll be in my prayers, and I'll be looking for your first posts after you are home and on the road to recovery! Hugs to you!
Unread 03-21-2006, 09:01 AM
Fear of Surgery

Zu, I'm so sorry to hear about your mother in law

I can understand how that would leave you feeling unnerved. Even though I'm sure you know heart surgery is a far riskier operation, it can't be helping matters.

Hysterectomies now 'adays are very routine. The mortality rate is very, very, very low.

I think with anything, 'fear of the unknown' is the worst to deal with. When you're not sure what to expect, and when you're doing something that doesn't feel natural.

I have a crazy fear of flying. Full blown phobic here. Being 30,000 feet in the air doesn't feel natural to me. I'm an otherwise grounded person, but when I get on an airplane, I have myself somehow convinced it's going to crash and I'm going to die. It's illogical... and I know statistically I have a far greater chance of crashing on the way TO the airport, but fear, and phobias are illogical. The best defense I find, is to arm yourself with knowledge. The more information you have about something, the less 'unknown', and scary it becomes. It seems to put logic more into perspective.

I spent the day yesterday reading through many of the articles on the site, and posts on the post-op board, and I realized just how many people go through this, on a daily basis. And they are all okay. Varying degrees of recovery, but they are okay.

I know it's hard, and your fears are normal. Just try to keep them in check, and you will get through this.

Me.. I'm flying on Thursday and going through more anxiety about the flight than I am about the surgery the following week, LOL, how's that for logic?

Hang in there!
Unread 03-21-2006, 10:08 AM
Fear of Surgery

Oh, zuzu, you made me smile - I remember that fear well. I was sure I wasn't going to make it. I wrote a will. I cleaned my house so that when people came to my funeral they wouldn't discuss my "dirty house". I....(BLUSH) had a LAST SUPPER! (steak, potatoes and icecream).

But here I am, one year to the day - and all better. The wait really is the worst part. I said my prayers and put it in the Lord's hands. That's all you can do.

Big huggs and great prayers to you!
Unread 03-21-2006, 12:16 PM
Fear of Surgery

I'm sorry to hear about the loss your family has just had. I can totally see how that would add to your anxiety about your surgery.
Wish I could give ya a great BIG .
It might help to read some of the stories women have posted about their surgeries. I've been getting more and more nervous the closer my date comes and started reading some at the suggestion of another lady on this site....and I've found that it really does help to read how someone else has gone through their surgery and is now on the mend.
I'll keep you and your family in my thoughts.
Unread 03-21-2006, 03:05 PM
Fear of Surgery

We all have been through that fear!, but you must put out of your mind what happend with your Mother In Law!. That was a different surgery, with different circumstances!. You will be just fine dear!.

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