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Why did I take my husband to dr with me. Why did I take my husband to dr with me.

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Unread 03-23-2006, 11:20 PM
Why did I take my husband to dr with me.

Today my husband and I went to the dr to talk about my surgery.She did a pelvic exam.Told us that she was going to give me a hysterectomy and A&P repair.I asked the dr what I could do and stuff.She said I could put grocery away and etc.Anyways tonight my husband and I were talking and he said your not going to get out of doing all the chores that you have planned.I said I don't plan on lifting anything for awhile.I have to let myself heal right.He said that's fine I will do it,but am alittle worried that he may expect me to after a couple of weeks because the dr said I would beable to.I thought you weren't suppose to carry anything heavier then a gallon of milk,no vacuuming and sweeping.Could I have misunderstood her?
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Unread 03-24-2006, 12:02 AM
Why did I take my husband to dr with me.

Don't worry, make sure your husband is there with you when you get discharged from the hospital. The discharge nurse will explain what you can and can't do then. You could probably put away groceries once they are in the house, but I wouldn't go grocery shopping on your own without someone there to get them into the house for you. And if I remember right, my doc said nothing over 10 lbs. for about 6 wks. or more, especially no vacuuming and anything else that might pull things. Tell your husband that if you do too much too soon, it may set you back even further, making for a longer recovery time for you. Best wishes for your speedy recovery!
Unread 03-24-2006, 02:30 AM
Why did I take my husband to dr with me.

I agree, the pre admission visit usually details what you can or can't do. Ask for written info and get him to read it with you, most importantly just don't do the stuff you can't or shouldn't. If jobs need doing leave them. A tip from me for post op - use a quiet voice so he knows your not right, show him your cut - get him to change the dressing when your home. Make him aware of your pain, send him to fetch pain killers, water etc..Ask him to help you bathe, most importantly stay in your night clothes with NO make up and slippers. Don't for one minute say you feel normal or OK till you get close to going back to work. Bless him, he's just scared of having to fill in but it'll be fine.
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Unread 03-24-2006, 05:26 AM
Why did I take my husband to dr with me.

My dh went with me, and I'm so glad he did!

My doctor has know us both for years (maybe I should say we've known her...she was about 6 when my husband first got to know her family!). My dh kept trying to back her into a corner about what I could and couldn't do. She finally read him the riot act and basically said to give it up...he's either going to have to do it all or get the kids to! She also said that if he pushed me too much, well, she knows where we live! It was a fun appointment...for me.

Maybe you can put a little bug in your discharge nurse's ear ahead of time to not go easy on your husband.
Unread 03-24-2006, 05:28 AM
Why did I take my husband to dr with me.

I found out the hard way that you need more than just someone to put them in the house for you. You need someone put them in the car from the store also. You need somone to push the cart. You need someone to get the items off of the low and high shelves...

Trust me, take someone with you, at least for a while.
Unread 03-24-2006, 06:23 AM
Why did I take my husband to dr with me.

I would put in a call to the doctor and explain to her that your husband may have gotten the impression that you will be able to resume chores and lifting soon after the surgery, and maybe she can explain a little more fully about recovery time. LOL, I haven't heard someone use the word "chores" since I was a kid, and told to "do my chores".
Unread 03-24-2006, 07:17 AM
Why did I take my husband to dr with me.

I would have your doctor explain things in detail for your husband. She had no business saying you could put groceries away. After 2 weeks now I'm comfortable going to get an apple or the lettuce from the bottom of the fridge but I don't put groceries away. In fact the large juice or milk container (when it's full) is heavy for me.
Frankly (I don't know your husband and maybe he was joking) if my DH said that to me, I'd wonder how concerend he was for my health. He needs to be more considerate of how you are going to feel afterwards. My DH was opening my water bottles for me the first week because I was so weak and they were not easy for me. I refuse to do housework. I don't change beds, I did that before I went in the hospital. DH can do it if I need to change sheets. I push the buttoms on the washer and dryer. You need to take very good care of yourself when you come out. We have one chance to heal and I'm taking mine slow.
Unread 03-24-2006, 09:18 AM
Why did I take my husband to dr with me.

I agree, you need to have the discharge nurse be really clear with your husband about your restrictions post op.
I didn't do ANYTHING for the first week or so. When I started feeling a little stronger, i would maybe help unstack the dishwasher ; one dish at a time. I could not put things away on upper shelves or lower shelves. But I did what I felt comfortable doing. I wanted to make sure my family knew that I didn't like sitting around doing nothing.
I am now over 4 weeks out and still will not vacuum, mop, scrub or lift anything too heavy. I'm not weighing anything, I just know that a laundry basket is too heavy. I'll put the laundry in the washer but I won't carry it downstairs. At first, I couldn't hang it up on the rod, but now I can reach up better.

Bottom line is that you will know what you can do and when you can do it. Let your family know that you aren't taking advantage of them and maybe then they won't mind pampering you.

As for using a quiet voice; great advice! Actually, I couldn't use a loud voice for a while. If I yelled at the dog or got upset with the kids, it would make my belly hurt. SO, I just sat there passively and asked my DH to handle things.
Unread 03-24-2006, 09:59 AM
Why did I take my husband to dr with me.

I think you should "lay off" all your "chores"! I think I would hit him with a frying pan if he told me I had to do my "chores"! It sounds like this guy needs a little more compasion here in this situation. I don't think he quite realizes what your going to be going thru! I know I personally won't be doing "didly"! My hubby is taking atleast 2 weeks off for me & will be at my beck and call. He is very good like that & when I had my 2 c-sections he was the best. Good luck!
Unread 03-24-2006, 10:16 AM
Why did I take my husband to dr with me.

Why is the concern regarding housework so prevalent for some of the hubbies? Should the concern not lie within the healing/recovery process? The question should be: What can I do for you to help your recovery go smoother? Not: " When will you be able to do my laundry, cook my dinner, take care of the kids, walk the dog, take out the trash, clean out the fridge, shop for groceries?" I understand that these are daily chores that we do every day, that we accomplish each day along with working our regular jobs, and the reality is, while we are recovering, SOMEONE is going to have to do them. Does it insult a mans sensibilities to vaccuum a floor, or load the dishwasher, or God forbid- IRON HIS OWN CLOTHES?

I hope that when I take my DBF with me to my dr. pre op his concern isn't housework. If it is, we are going to have issues.

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