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Unread 03-26-2006, 07:13 AM
Pity Party

Hi sisters,

I am not one to usually have a pity party, at least I try not to. But I was having one last night. I reacted to a statement someone made to me and it really made me want to give up. Just quite the tests and the searching and live on pain pills for the rest of my life. I am only 43 so that would be a long time. I was buried so deep in my pity that i could not even come to you my sisters who understand. What do you do when you want to give up. I am trying to pray and really lean on the Lord, but it is do hard sometimes. My pity party is better today, but I feel it tugging on my and trying to pull me back in.

Thanks for listening
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Unread 03-26-2006, 08:33 AM
Pity Party

Hi kayteeg!

I'm in PA too! If you would like to, send me a PM. I feel for you, at times everything feels like everything is crumbling all around us. Since you posted on the road less traveled, I am assuming that you are dealing with a on going problem...what did that someone say to you that hurt so much? It really is a good thing to talk about what your feeling. What can we Hystersisters help you with?
Please post back..take care....
Unread 03-26-2006, 09:01 AM
Pity Party

Hi kayteeg!

Go ahead and let it out - it helps. I just don't think people realize what they are saying sometimes. I understand about thinking about staying on meds for the rest of your life - that just isn't a solution I want to hear (I'm 45). Let us know how we can help.
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Unread 03-26-2006, 10:25 AM
Pity Party

I have pity parties from time to time myself. I think it is normal when one is struggling with health and pain issues. I am glad that you're feeling better today.
Unread 03-26-2006, 11:44 AM
Pity Party

Kayteeg , I also have had lots of pity partys/crying jags...just ask my dh. Constant pain and problems is hard on not only ourselves, but the whole family. Just know we are all right there with you and we understand. Sometimes people who have never had constant issues just don't get it...we have to walk a mile in each other's shoes to trully understand and empathize.
Unread 03-27-2006, 07:35 AM
Pity Party

I totally understnd how you feel.I had a tvh in June of 05 and have not felt right since. I had my bladder sling cut twice. and now Ihad a rectocele and cystocele repair, and I dont think that I am feeling better. Its ahrd, people dont understand. They say just get over it. Or is it in your head. i think everyone at my home feels that way. But I am not crazy and somthing is not right. It is a strain on everyone and II know they are sick of me talking about this, I am off for six weeks for this surgery, which depressing me especially if it doesnt help or I may need a LAP, later. i am so tired fo not feeling well. It is deressing. Everyone says your are depressed. YES> iI am. I know how you feel and it *****. Sue
Unread 03-27-2006, 08:26 AM
Pity Party

Kayteeg: I'm right there with you. Dealing with pain on a constant basis is making me crazy. I feel like people think I'm a Hypo. all the time. My husband is a strong support for me, but I even feel bad if I mention it to him. I am 45 and just can't imagine going yrs, like this. I also live in PA, I'm in the middle of self pity today, some days are worse then others.
Unread 03-27-2006, 09:27 AM
joining pity party

I think part of the reason this is so hard is that our problems are in a very private part of our body and are not visible. If it were back pain or something that can be talked about and understood it would be easier.

I'm having major prolapse issues after having a lavh and several pelvic support things done on me in August of last year. My husband is getting sick of all of the problems I've had since then. He wants me to just get over it.I've been to several doctors to get help (I won't go back to the surgeon who did it because she was so rude to me) and have not found one who really understands whats going on with me.

I finally had to get a mirror and show my husband my anatomy and what is plainly visible almost hanging out of my vagina.He finally got it! Because I had gone to all of those doctors and had not been understood, he thought I was being a hypo! When it comes to physical weakness he can be such a jerk! I have to say in his defense that he was very good after the hyst. I guess 8 months later and I'm still having problems is testing his patience.

Don't try to go through this alone! This is the best forum to get support. Where else is anyone going to understand?
Unread 03-27-2006, 11:10 AM
Pity Party

I think your dh has a twin, I swear you were writing about my husband in you note above. It's very frustrating to be dealing with these prolapses and not have my dh's support. Good Luck to you.
Unread 03-28-2006, 08:50 AM
Thank you all so much

Hi Sisters,

Thank you all so much for your replies it is comforting to know that I am not alone. As for the dh issues, I understand those as well. But I have to say as much as he can be thoughtless and uncaring, he has been with me for 23 years (married 21 years this July). The last 18 years have been medical nightmares. He gets frustrated, who wouldn't due to the minimal sex life that we have. I am a little surprised he has stuck by me this long. We came close to divorce one time, I was going to leave, I am SOOO glad I didn't. We have been through some pretty tough times. We have lost two children and he had to have brain surgery 13 years ago. That is enough to put a strain on any marriage. Then there are all of my health issues. But he hangs in there. I just have to remember all of that when he says the occasional thoughtless word that makes me want to give up. I know that it is out of frustration because there just isn't anything he can do to make me better. He hurt me pretty bad the other day and I do believe he feels bad about that. It's not fair that I have to watch what I say to him or talk about. I am so glad to have this site to turn to. I have always believed that journaling is a very healthy activity and doing it here is even better becasue you know that someone is going to read it and understand.

Thanks again girls, your the greatest!


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